If you’ve been parenting for more than a day or so, you know that there is no one-size-fits all way to raise and discipline children. There are so many experts with great resources for parents (a lot of them have been on the show), but in the end each one of your children is an individual with individual needs.

But what if they have needs that go beyond what’s typical? That’s just where my guest Karis Murray found herself when her second daughter started school and struggled to keep up with her classmates. After years of struggle or a lot of fear of the unknown, Karis and her daughter were both diagnosed and treated for ADHD.

Karis takes us through how she supported her daughter with high needs. She gives advice and encouragement to moms who have children in similar situations.

Special or unique needs are things that are unique to our particular child that might not be true of everyone. And so this is kind of a sneaky one because you have to approach every person as an individual and it's really easy to forget that our kids are people. They're all individuals. So a lot of the time their behavior at home or at school might be an attempt to get a unique need met, a special need that is not getting dealt with.

We also get into how to set appropriate boundaries and how grace based discipline can help us separate the sin from our child’s heart and shift to focus away from our own feelings.

Good discipline is responding, not reacting. When we're reacting, we're not thinking about what's best for our kids. Very often we're thinking about what's best for us. If we choose to take it personally, then we stay stuck in our emotions. I'm not saying take the rules away or don't have the same expectations, but when we can see our kid the way that God sees them, we can approach them with love and kindness.

What we chat about:

* Karis’ background with ADHD personally and in her family* Having good expectations about parenting teens instead of dreading it* Discovering one of her daughters had ADHD and the signs and symptoms she exhibited * The way her daughter struggled in school and when they decided to seek help* The evaluation process and how medication has helped both Karis and her daughter with ADHD* The stigma around mental health and medication* A lot of discipline problems can stem from our child’s unmet needs (that they often can’t express)* Decoding your child’s behavior to see if they have any unique or special needs * As parents, we are the first lens through which our kids see God and his character* The danger of letting fear drive your response to problems in your child’s behavior or development* Setting appropriate expectations and boundaries for children with special needs* Karis’ new video series on Grace-Based Discipline available on RightNow Media and on her website

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Links Mentioned:

* Grace Based Discipline :: Karis Kimmel Murray [Ep 150] * Grace Based Discipline** by Karis Kimmel Murray* Grace Based Parenting** by Dr. Tim Kimmel* Video Series on Grace Based Discipline available at http://gracebaseddiscipline.com  and on