GRACEPILLED with Hanna Williams

Connect with Rami: 
Instagram: @ramidreams
ramidreams.com (booking, live programs, etc)
Enrollment for Rami's school ends July 8th

Connect with me, Hanna, your host: 
Instagram: @grace.pilled
hannawilliams.com (bookings, merch, etc)
patreon.com/gracepilled

We cover:

• The emotional and existential challenges of running a spiritual business, including the unexpected inner work around self-worth, shame, and the discomfort of marketing one's offerings with integrity.
• Authenticity in leadership and marketing, especially the importance of being your full self (including humor, messiness, and vulnerability) in your public presence so clients meet the real you—not just a shiny persona.
• The delicate dance of sharing personal process online, exploring how to discern when something is "cooked" enough to serve others, versus when it’s still raw and may unconsciously ask your audience to hold you.
• Projections, pedestals, and the myth of the perfect spiritual guide, including how to recognize golden shadow and navigate others’ expectations without fragmenting your identity or hiding your humanity.
• The spiritual necessity of creative expression, especially in the digital age—seeing Instagram and social media as modern landfills where we can still perform sacred service, wake people up, and keep the river of spirit flowing through us.

Connect with Yumi, my guest:
Instagram: @yumisakugawa
Website
Affirmation deck

Connect with me, Hanna, your host: 
Instagram: @grace.pilled
hannawilliams.com (bookings, merch, etc)
patreon.com/gracepilled
(join as a free member to get access to a collection of talks!)

In this episode of Gracepilled, I sit down with interdisciplinary artist and author Yumi Sakugawa (she/they) to trace the spiraling, unexpected path of her spiritual life—from childhood flashes of psychic imagery and goth teenage atheism to meditation, soul retrieval, and ancestral reclamation.

Yumi is the author of beloved illustrated books like There Is No Right Way to Meditate and Your Illustrated Guide to Becoming One with the Universe. Her work has appeared in The New Yorker, The Believer, and exhibitions at the Smithsonian and the Japanese American National Museum. But today we go beyond Yumi’s amazing career accomplishments and explore their inner world.

We talk about a recent health scare that became a surprisingly spiritual wake-up call, and how discipline, fueled by the powers of Virgo, interacts with creative ritual. We talk about their dark night of the soul experience teaching english in Japan, finding meditation through Eckhart Tolle and David Lynch, and how grief led her deeper into ancestral connection with her Okinawan roots. Yumi also shares the story of a traumatic ayahuasca ceremony—something she’s never spoken about publicly before—and the long, slow, embodied healing that followed. And, full disclosure, in telling this story and discussing it, neither of us are suggesting there is anything wrong with plant medicine or ayahuasca, we are simply exploring what that was like, and some potential aspects of modern Ayahuasca usage that aren’t so commonly discussed.

We cover: 

• Spiritual emergence through crisis: Yumi shares how a painful post-college experience teaching abroad in Japan led them to meditation, marking the beginning of their spiritual path.
• Creative discipline as ritual: She talks about her workshop “Discipline is Pleasure” and how creative practice, health routines, and spirituality all benefit from intentional containers of time and attention.
• Lineage, colonization, and ancestral reclamation: They reflect on visiting their paternal homeland of Okinawa and how it catalyzed a deeper connection to their ancestral roots and the region’s spiritual and political history.
• Ayahuasca, trauma, and healing: Yumi opens up—publicly for the first time—about a devastating ayahuasca experience, soul fragmentation, and the long arc of recovery supported by their community and energetic healing.
• Art, intuition, and the evolution of purpose: She reflects on how her creative journey has shifted from needing to prove herself to trusting intuition, play, and her unique voice.

Connect with me, Hanna, your host: 
Instagram: @grace.pilled
hannawilliams.com (bookings, merch, etc)
patreon.com/gracepilled
(join as a free member to get access to a collection of talks!)

Connect with John, our guest: 
Instagram: @saint_rainey
His book: Finding God, Losing God, Becoming God
His podcast: House of Saint Rainey

Today, I’m joined by John Rainey—author, seeker, and explorer of unity consciousness. Once a devoted Christian, working as a youth pastor, his search for deeper truth led him beyond the walls of his religion and into the wild, uncharted expanse of direct experience of the divine. His journey to me is the perfect example of how deep questioning can lead someone to the truth — a potent question he asked himself one day changed the course of his life. But I’ll save that story for the interview. Let’s get into it.

Connect with our guest, Aidan: 
www.aidanwachter.com/
bluesky
www.patreon.com/aidanwachter

Connect with me, Hanna, your host: 
Instagram: @grace.pilled
hannawilliams.com (bookings, merch, etc)
patreon.com/gracepilled
(join as a free member to get access to a collection of talks!)

Aidan Wachter is a self-described “mongrel animist” and magical practitioner whose path has been shaped less by systems and more by direct experience, dirt, string, and a willingness to listen deeply to the spirits that walk with him. In this conversation, Aidan shares how punk rock led him to magic, how a major breakdown clarified his role as a teacher and healer (even if those titles make him cringe), and why the tools we already have might be more than enough. We talk about animism, autonomy, spiritual hoarding, ancestor complications, embodied spirit work, and the dangers of trying to fix spiritual problems with material logic. If you’ve ever felt allergic to orthodoxy but deeply drawn to the unseen, you’re going to love this one.

We cover:

• Aidan’s post-breakdown reorientation toward teaching and healing, and how embracing his role in community helped him recover and recommit to his work
• The animist foundations of his magical practice, and why he moved away from ceremonial systems in favor of direct, embodied, earth-based approaches
• His philosophy of working with fewer tools, but going deeper — learning from the practices themselves rather than accumulating more techniques or spirits
• The distinction between relational magic and spiritual consumerism, and why knowing “who brung you to the dance” matters more than finding the perfect deity
• How worldview is the hidden architecture behind both magic and everyday reality — and why interrogating our inherited beliefs is essential for real change
• His experiences with spirit communication, trance work, and ancestor relationships — including the beauty, the conflict, and the negotiation involved
• The importance of sovereignty when working with spirits, and how spiritual agency and personal boundaries are crucial, even (especially) in non-ordinary states

Connect with Dr. Rev. Solstice, our guest:
Instagram: @solstice_of_anahata
His book: Black Gītā
Youtube
Book w/ him
Spotify

Connect with me, Hanna, your host: 
Instagram: @grace.pilled
hannawilliams.com (bookings, merch, etc)
patreon.com/gracepilled
(join as a free member to get access to a collection of talks!)

Today I’m sharing a conversation with someone I’ve really been looking forward to talking to—Dr. Rev. Solstice of the Anahata Lineage. He’s a spiritual counselor and speaker on behalf of the Most High, and what I love about this convo is how much ground we cover. We talk about his journey from childhood Christianity to militant atheism to Buddhist study to the kind of grounded, love-soaked, non-dual mysticism he lives and teaches now. He shares some beautiful re-interpretations of scripture, including what it really means to “love your Judas,” — which syncs up nicely with the philosophy of Grace in my tradition — and finally, we also get into the trap of being “anti”—how sometimes resistance just recycles the very energy we’re trying to move beyond.

You can find Solstice and his talks on YouTube, follow him on Instagram, and book him for talks, workshops, one-on-one counseling, or guided meditation. His book Black Gītā is out now and you can also stream his music wherever you listen.

We cover:

• Solstice's spiritual evolution from childhood Christianity, to militant atheism, to Buddhist studenthood, and finally to a grounded, non-dual, love-centered worldview.
• The idea that everything—yes, everything—is God, including darkness, discomfort, and so-called “evil.”
• A radical re-reading of the Bible through the lens of mysticism, metaphor, and personal development.
• How New Age material helped Solstice reconnect with the Bible in a more empowering and embodied way.
• The concept of “Love Your Judas”: seeing betrayal, pain, and hardship as portals to transformation.
• The distinction between sociological consciousness and love or God-consciousness—and why the latter is more liberatory.
• The limits of resistance: how being “anti-” something often recycles its energy and keeps us bound to it.

Connect with Bob, our guest:
Instagram: @bobpeck
His book: Original Sin is a Lie
His podcast: Karmic Relief

Connect with me, Hanna, your host: 
Instagram: @grace.pilled
hannawilliams.com (bookings, merch, etc)
RUN TOWARDS THE HARD SH*T (4 week conflict course)
patreon.com/gracepilled
(join as a free member to get access to a collection of talks!)

Today, I’m joined by Bob Peck—author, award-winning filmmaker, mystic, and, dare I say, spiritual comedian. Fascinated by spirituality and philosophy from a young age, Bob has approached the spiritual path like a true connoisseur of the vast wisdom smorgasbord that is world religion. His deep knowledge of many traditions makes him a grounded and insightful guide, as he has demonstrated in his book Original Sin Is a Lie. With a warm heart, Bob invites us to explore the territory beyond dogma and uncover our true selves. Let’s get into it.

SIGN UP FOR RUN TOWARDS THE HARDSH*T
www.hannawilliams.com/conflict

Connect with me, Hanna, your host: 
Instagram: @grace.pilled
hannawilliams.com (bookings, merch, etc)
patreon.com/gracepilled
(join as a free member to get access to a collection of talks!)

Connect with Monica Alanna 
Instagram: 
@rooted.relating (coaching/grief counseling)
@magicksalt (handmade jewelry, art, writing)
www.magicksalt.com

What happens when everything goes wrong — not metaphorically, but physically, viscerally, unavoidably wrong? In this episode, I sat down with Monica to talk about the night she shattered her leg on a sheet of ice… and the months of healing, surrender, and unexpected grace that followed.

But this isn’t just a story about a medical emergency. It’s about what it means to truly need help. What it feels like to slow down when our culture demands speed. What communal care actually looks like — not the fantasy of “the village” many of us pine to return to, but the messy, beautiful, real thing. What the village will actually be like.

We talk chronic illness, advocating for yourself in a broken healthcare system, receiving love when you're used to giving it, and the weird, tender tension of being both grossed out and grateful at the same time.

This conversation is funny, raw, and deeply human. Content warning for medical details — some of the things discussed are a bit… body horror… but if you’ve ever felt like your body or life betrayed you, or wondered how to keep showing up for others and yourself, this one’s for you.

We cover:

• What it’s really like to need help and receive care
• The tension between hyper-independence and community support
• Advocating for yourself in broken systems (like healthcare)
• The messy, unglamorous reality of “the village”
• How crisis can reveal — and reshape — our relationships

Connect with my guest, Nataraj:
Instagram: @nataraj.chaitanya
natarajchaitanya.com
patreon

Connect with me, Hanna, your host: 
Instagram: @grace.pilled
hannawilliams.com (bookings, merch, etc)
RUN TOWARDS THE HARD SH*T (4 week conflict course)
patreon.com/gracepilled
(join as a free member to get access to a collection of talks!)

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Today, I’m joined by Nataraj Chaitanya—a seasoned yogi, philosopher, and teacher with over two decades of experience in classical Tantra, Mantra, Bhakti, and Yoga philosophy. Beginning his meditation and yoga practice at the age of 13, Nataraj has dedicated his life to sharing his embodiment of the transformative teachings of tantra, leading retreats, workshops, and teacher training programs worldwide. Now, as you’ll hear, Nataraj is my spiritual brother. We share a lineage — both of our gurus were disciples of Swami Muktananda, so we both have been influenced quite strongly by the flavor of his unique transmission. In future episodes, we want to speak more about the guru disciple relationship and how interesting and transformative it can be to hold a teacher in both their holiness and their humanity. But for now, we can all be blessed by the nectar of Nataraj’s presence. Sometimes when I speak with him my mind goes completely blank — but in a blissful way. I only ever have this experience with my own guru. So, that’s just to say that the Grace he radiates is not only palpable, but poppin. Enjoy!

Connect with me, Hanna, your host: 
Instagram: @grace.pilled
hannawilliams.com (bookings, merch, etc)
patreon.com/gracepilled
(join as a free member to get access to a collection of talks!)

Connect with Meredith, our guest: 
Instagram: @gravesmeredith

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Today, I’m joined by Meredith Graves—musician, writer, and lifelong student of not only magic and all things western esotericism, but a deep devotee of awe and wonder. Known for her fierce presence in punk music and independent media, Meredith’s life has always been centered around her spirituality — like a nymph leaping from one career to another, it’s not about her role in the world. It’s about the way she engages with life, what she courts in all of her actions. A true, esoteric householder, if you ask me. As a dedicated magician, she weaves together art, ritual, history, and the hidden currents of the mystical traditions that penetrate every aspect of our lives. Like, no joke. Western civilization is quite literally a magical working. Now, Meredith is the epitome of a one line in human design, an encyclopedia of occult knowledge. We always have so much fun talking to each other — and so, this episode is actually part two because the first interview ended up getting published on my patreon. That one is a bit more biographical if you want to hear more about Meredith’s story. This one is a bit more like two nerds bouncing ideas off of each other for like two hours. So buckle up! Let’s dive in.

Connect with Jory, our guest:
Instagram: @methodsofcontemplation
Website, podcast, book

Connect with me, Hanna, your host: 
Instagram: @grace.pilled
hannawilliams.com (bookings, merch, etc)
RUN TOWARDS THE HARD SH*T (4 week conflict course)
patreon.com/gracepilled

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Today, I’m joined by Jory Pryor—inter-spiritual scholar-practitioner rooted in Advaita Vedanta and shakta tantra, with a background in the Christian tradition and a deep appreciation for global expressions of non-duality. As the host of the Methods of Contemplation podcast, Jory engages in thoughtful dialogues exploring diverse spiritual paths and contemplative practices. He’s also the author of Becoming All Light: The Non-Dual Heart of Christianity, inviting readers to awaken to their true, luminous nature. I’ve often sent my own students to Jory whenever they’ve expressed an interest in returning to Christianity after exploring tantra with me. I can think of no better guide! This conversation was especially fun for me because it’s not often I get to talk with someone who has experienced the guru / disciple relationship in a similar way to me! So, let’s get right into it.