"It's been a minute since I read The Bible."

The crew was left dumbfounded by the storytelling on last night's game between the Minnesota Timberwolves and San Antonio Spurs, with Victor Wembanyama portrayed as a conquering hero after not being suspended for what Dan called 'one of the dirtiest plays in playoff history.' Does anybody root for Goliath? If the rock hits him in the chest, do you think Goliath is going down? Did you know Rutgers offers underwater basketweaving? Does Daniel Day-Lewis need to pick a name?

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