Our thirst for Nicolas Cage cannot be quenched after just a single episode about his many starring roles. Hell, I don't know if our thirst for Cage is quenched after a second episode either, but for now, you have a fresh 2+ hours of Miles, Dan, Kit, Claire, and MeganBob peering into the dark heart of Cagemas and trying to figure out how these characters bone down. Join us as we tackle Ben Gates from National Treasure, Castor Troy from Face/Off, Cameron Poe from Con Air, and so many more strange Cages. Feelings of all kinds are had, gasps are heard, grievances are aired, and through it all, there is Nicolas Cage. Do we reach the throbbing heart of horniness? Well, we certainly reach the throbbing heart of something. Maybe the dark mysteries within our very souls?? You'll have to open this Pandora's box of an episode to find out!

Hard Choices on Patreon Instagram: hardchoicespod TikTok: @hardchoicespod Tumblr: hardchoicespod Twitter: @hardchoicespod Music from Uppbeat (free for Creators!):   https://uppbeat.io/t/soundroll/funk-me  License code: PY3X4XBA59ZDUAVZ https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/funky-junk  License code: KIXMIV9S2VDVUHLW   https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/the-gentleman  License code: UWXG3BXPCASTYIHY   https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/lets-get-it  License code: MGTNINNDEXYJBAZQ   https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/high-life  License code: GE9B1XIV9R1VKMML   https://uppbeat.io/t/doug-organ/boogie-time  License code: QOVELAYOE1SDZQ4Y   https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/the-brighton-bop  License code: VWDJ4C60GOAIPACW   https://uppbeat.io/t/jonny-boyle/jazzed  License code: AVN7XPXUBHDBHFAM   https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/wake-me-up  License code: SPHCZLRSPZNRUK7R   https://uppbeat.io/t/walz/redcar-jazz  License code: A0MVEEBKYDDJ0EQY https://uppbeat.io/t/sonda/rock-it  License code: QFNICKIQJYO3DCZO

This here is the horniest podcast in the 'verse. We rounded up a crew of space cowboys worthy of riding into the world of Firefly, ready to get down with anyone worth having. Join Kam, Miles Schneiderman, Rio, and MeganBob, as they take off into the black, and rank the fuckability of the Serenity crew and most everyone else you remember slinging guns in Old West Space China. These four will find the Median, Zenith, and Nadir of fuckability, but along they way they'll find out a whole lot more, mostly about just what makes everyone say "I'll be in my bunk." Strap into your seat, as they prove that you can't take the sky from Hard Choices.

Hard Choices on Patreon Instagram: hardchoicespod TikTok: @hardchoicespod Tumblr: hardchoicespod Twitter: @hardchoicespod Music from Uppbeat (free for Creators!):   https://uppbeat.io/t/soundroll/funk-me  License code: PY3X4XBA59ZDUAVZ https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/funky-junk  License code: KIXMIV9S2VDVUHLW   https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/the-gentleman  License code: UWXG3BXPCASTYIHY   https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/lets-get-it  License code: MGTNINNDEXYJBAZQ   https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/high-life  License code: GE9B1XIV9R1VKMML   https://uppbeat.io/t/doug-organ/boogie-time  License code: QOVELAYOE1SDZQ4Y   https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/the-brighton-bop  License code: VWDJ4C60GOAIPACW   https://uppbeat.io/t/jonny-boyle/jazzed  License code: AVN7XPXUBHDBHFAM   https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/wake-me-up  License code: SPHCZLRSPZNRUK7R   https://uppbeat.io/t/walz/redcar-jazz  License code: A0MVEEBKYDDJ0EQY https://uppbeat.io/t/sonda/rock-it  License code: QFNICKIQJYO3DCZO

If you've got a burning desire for enormous winged reptiles, then do we have the episode for you! In this, perhaps the most monsterfuckiest episode of Hard Choices to date, we take a look at 21 of the hottest, sexiest dragons from across media of all kinds! Well... "sexiest" may be stretching it in some cases. But hey, when you've got as much dragon boning to get through as we do, stretching is pretty much inevitable. Join Annie, Dan, Kit, and Meganbob as we bone our way across the many accumulated hordes of wealth that fantasy fiction can offer us, grappling with multiple heads, dangerously hot bodily fluids, and random googly eyes along the way! Hard Choices on Patreon Instagram: hardchoicespod TikTok: @hardchoicespod Tumblr: hardchoicespod Twitter: @hardchoicespod Music from Uppbeat (free for Creators!):   https://uppbeat.io/t/soundroll/funk-me  License code: PY3X4XBA59ZDUAVZ https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/funky-junk  License code: KIXMIV9S2VDVUHLW   https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/the-gentleman  License code: UWXG3BXPCASTYIHY   https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/lets-get-it  License code: MGTNINNDEXYJBAZQ   https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/high-life  License code: GE9B1XIV9R1VKMML   https://uppbeat.io/t/doug-organ/boogie-time  License code: QOVELAYOE1SDZQ4Y   https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/the-brighton-bop  License code: VWDJ4C60GOAIPACW   https://uppbeat.io/t/jonny-boyle/jazzed  License code: AVN7XPXUBHDBHFAM   https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/wake-me-up  License code: SPHCZLRSPZNRUK7R   https://uppbeat.io/t/walz/redcar-jazz  License code: A0MVEEBKYDDJ0EQY https://uppbeat.io/t/sonda/rock-it  License code: QFNICKIQJYO3DCZO

Bad Choices is coming for you on Saturday, April 20th at 5PM PT and it's coming hard! As a result of all the Bad Choices hullabaloo, among other things, MeganBob couldn't pull together an episode for April in time, but this is two gems from the Patreon feed featuring Bad Choices co-hosts Annie Craton and Dan Mulkerin.  Click HERE to register for Bad Choices so you don't miss one second of the action! Believe me, you'll be glad you did. Can you afford to miss James D'Amato doing a Zorak impression after a few drinks? Can you afford to miss any of us moaning about Jabberjaw or how much we want Yogi Bear to rifle through our pic-a-nic baskets? I feel like the answer is a resounding no.  Patrons at the $4.20+ get to join in the Bad Choices fun on 4/20! Patrons at all levels get access to the replay and to the podcast version of this unholy event. All patrons are going to be issued a Sex Bingo card to play along during Bad Choices and see if they win a prize! The prize has yet to be determined and may be something highly cursed, highly sexy, or just plain weird. It depends on how drunk we are by the end of the show, really. 

Desperate to know who we're talking about on Saturday, April 20th? 

1. Dastardly and Muttley in Their Flying Machines: Dick Dastardly and Muttley

2. The Flintsones: Barney Rubble

3. The Flintstones: Betty Rubble

4. The Jetsons: Rosie

5. Wacky Races: Penelope Pitstop 

6. Space Ghost: Zorak

7. Captain Planet: Doctor Blight

8. The Yogi Bear Show: Yogi Bear

9. The Huckleberry Hound Show: Huckleberry Hound

10. Jabberjaw: Jabberjaw 

11. Casper and the Angels: Space Officer Maxi

12. Hong Kong Phooey: Hong Kong Phooey

13. The Powerpuff Girls: Ms. Bellum

14. Moby Dick and the Mighty Mightor: Serpent Queen

15. Inch High, Private Eye: Inch High

Things are going to get buckwild, folks. Strap in. 

Hard Choices on Patreon Instagram: hardchoicespod TikTok: @hardchoicespod Twitter: @hardchoicespod Music from Uppbeat (free for Creators!):   https://uppbeat.io/t/soundroll/funk-me  License code: PY3X4XBA59ZDUAVZ

Avast, my hearties. It’s time to hoist the colors and set sail for an experience that Talk Like a Pirate day really didn’t prepare us for. This is Hard Choices, the podcast that ranks the fuckability of fictional characters looking for the zenith, median, and nadir in a given universe, but really, it’s about all the timbers we shivered along the way. This month, we’re plunging our swords into Our Flag Means Death!

Check out Hard Choices on social media and on Patreon for news from every corner of MeganBob's boner empire, including updates about the upcoming LIVE Bad Choices - Hanna-Barbera recording on Saturday, April 20th at 5pm Pacific!

Hard Choices on Patreon Instagram: hardchoicespod TikTok: @hardchoicespod Tumblr: hardchoicespod Twitter: @hardchoicespod Music from Uppbeat (free for Creators!):   https://uppbeat.io/t/soundroll/funk-me  License code: PY3X4XBA59ZDUAVZ https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/funky-junk  License code: KIXMIV9S2VDVUHLW   https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/the-gentleman  License code: UWXG3BXPCASTYIHY   https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/lets-get-it  License code: MGTNINNDEXYJBAZQ   https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/high-life  License code: GE9B1XIV9R1VKMML   https://uppbeat.io/t/doug-organ/boogie-time  License code: QOVELAYOE1SDZQ4Y   https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/the-brighton-bop  License code: VWDJ4C60GOAIPACW   https://uppbeat.io/t/jonny-boyle/jazzed  License code: AVN7XPXUBHDBHFAM   https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/wake-me-up  License code: SPHCZLRSPZNRUK7R   https://uppbeat.io/t/walz/redcar-jazz  License code: A0MVEEBKYDDJ0EQY https://uppbeat.io/t/sonda/rock-it  License code: QFNICKIQJYO3DCZO

We at Hard Choices like to think we have our fingers on the throbbing pulse of pop culture, so when Baldur's Gate 3 won just about every Game of the Year award purely out of how horny it made everyone, we knew we couldn't pass up the opportunity to explore the delicious nooks and sweaty crannies of the Sword Coast through the lens of this groundbreaking, bed-shaking trilogy. Join Dan, Maq, Miles, and Meganbob as we ask: which heroes and villains are we saving our highest-level spell slots for, and which ones are we leaving behind in the deservedly Forgotten Realms? When everything from vampires to mind flayers to actual bears are on the table, is any monsterfucker truly safe? And most importantly, how do we feel about possibly having a miniature giant space hamster secretly watching our every thrust and gasp?

Check out Hard Choices on social media and on Patreon for news from every corner of MeganBob's boner empire, including updates about the upcoming LIVE Bad Choices - Hanna-Barbera recording on Saturday, April 20th at 5pm Pacific!

Hard Choices on Patreon Instagram: hardchoicespod TikTok: @hardchoicespod Tumblr: hardchoicespod Twitter: @hardchoicespod Music from Uppbeat (free for Creators!):   https://uppbeat.io/t/soundroll/funk-me  License code: PY3X4XBA59ZDUAVZ https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/funky-junk  License code: KIXMIV9S2VDVUHLW   https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/the-gentleman  License code: UWXG3BXPCASTYIHY   https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/lets-get-it  License code: MGTNINNDEXYJBAZQ   https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/high-life  License code: GE9B1XIV9R1VKMML   https://uppbeat.io/t/doug-organ/boogie-time  License code: QOVELAYOE1SDZQ4Y   https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/the-brighton-bop  License code: VWDJ4C60GOAIPACW   https://uppbeat.io/t/jonny-boyle/jazzed  License code: AVN7XPXUBHDBHFAM   https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/wake-me-up  License code: SPHCZLRSPZNRUK7R   https://uppbeat.io/t/walz/redcar-jazz  License code: A0MVEEBKYDDJ0EQY https://uppbeat.io/t/sonda/rock-it  License code: QFNICKIQJYO3DCZO

NOTE: You want a calendar with shirtless Irish farmers on it? Naturally, you do. Throw $4.20 at Hard Choices and get entered to win one of these three perfect pieces of useful wall art. It was just another quiet day in the Soul Society until Hard Choices rolled up, ready to find out exactly how much reishi everyone has under those robes! Kurotsuchi probably already knows the answer to that question, but his methods for finding out just aren't personal enough for Neal Butler, Kit, MeganBob, and TikTok legend Cosplayfiend! Only working through our list to find out who fucks like every move is their Bankai and who fucks like they'd really rather be doing a training montage can give us the dark knowledge we crave. Just how insufferable is Gin's creepy self-satisfaction? How sexy is a basket-wearing wolfman? How much do all of us want to lay our heads on Shunsui's very hairy chest? You can only find the answers to these questions by going on a journey that's almost as long as the entirety of BLEACH, but don't worry, we won't make you learn about Bounts. Join us as we take one of the Big Three among anime and give it the working over that no amount of cheesecake pinups and sexy cosplay could have prepared you for. Cosplayfiend is already TikTok legend for his takes on some of these sword-swingers, so don't miss that either.

Check out Hard Choices on social media and on Patreon for news from every corner of MeganBob's boner empire!

Hard Choices on Patreon Instagram: hardchoicespod TikTok: @hardchoicespod Twitter: @hardchoicespod Bluesky: @hardchoicespodcast.bsky.social Gmail: [email protected]

Music from Uppbeat (free for Creators!):   https://uppbeat.io/t/soundroll/funk-me  License code: PY3X4XBA59ZDUAVZ https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/funky-junk  License code: KIXMIV9S2VDVUHLW   https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/the-gentleman  License code: UWXG3BXPCASTYIHY   https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/lets-get-it  License code: MGTNINNDEXYJBAZQ   https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/high-life  License code: GE9B1XIV9R1VKMML   https://uppbeat.io/t/doug-organ/boogie-time  License code: QOVELAYOE1SDZQ4Y   https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/the-brighton-bop  License code: VWDJ4C60GOAIPACW   https://uppbeat.io/t/jonny-boyle/jazzed  License code: AVN7XPXUBHDBHFAM   https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/wake-me-up  License code: SPHCZLRSPZNRUK7R   https://uppbeat.io/t/walz/redcar-jazz  License code: A0MVEEBKYDDJ0EQY https://uppbeat.io/t/sonda/rock-it  License code: QFNICKIQJYO3DCZO

Big government isn't sexy. But small government? Local government? That government where you can get right up close and see the process unfolding. That government where you can run into your city councilor at the gym? Or at the local liquor store? Or trying to bribe a raccoon for votes? That's the kinda government you can get down and dirty with. This month, Hard Choices visits the recent past with a trip to Pawnee, Indiana. Yes, the bright-eyed innocence and the can-do attitude that believes yes, holes can be filled. We rounded up Kam Servo, Owen Winters, Kris Newton, and MeganBob to break a few noise ordinances (and one about keeping your pets on a leash.) Whether you're hot for Ron Swanson, April Ludgate, or genuinely ready to take the biggest dick in Pawnee, courtesy of JerryGaryLarry, this episode has you covered. Hard Choices: It's horniness you can believe in! (And the outtakes are normally only on Patreon, but I couldn't resist leaving them in as a little December giftie - MBob) Check out Hard Choices on social media and on Patreon for news from every corner of MeganBob's boner empire!

Hard Choices on Patreon Instagram: hardchoicespod TikTok: @hardchoicespod Twitter: @hardchoicespod Gmail: [email protected]

Music from Uppbeat (free for Creators!):   https://uppbeat.io/t/soundroll/funk-me  License code: PY3X4XBA59ZDUAVZ https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/funky-junk  License code: KIXMIV9S2VDVUHLW   https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/the-gentleman  License code: UWXG3BXPCASTYIHY   https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/lets-get-it  License code: MGTNINNDEXYJBAZQ   https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/high-life  License code: GE9B1XIV9R1VKMML   https://uppbeat.io/t/doug-organ/boogie-time  License code: QOVELAYOE1SDZQ4Y   https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/the-brighton-bop  License code: VWDJ4C60GOAIPACW   https://uppbeat.io/t/jonny-boyle/jazzed  License code: AVN7XPXUBHDBHFAM   https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/wake-me-up  License code: SPHCZLRSPZNRUK7R   https://uppbeat.io/t/walz/redcar-jazz  License code: A0MVEEBKYDDJ0EQY https://uppbeat.io/t/sonda/rock-it  License code: QFNICKIQJYO3DCZO https://uppbeat.io/t/tatami/dust License code: W2S2RPXGLVQIUO8J

Hard Choices swept through all of the 80's cartoons you know and love to select the cream of the crop (and Allo from Dinosaucers) to make sure that this episode is peak after peak. You can expect Big Feels aplenty from Hub, Annie Craton, Meganbob, and host, Kris Newton, as they get vocal about Cobra Commander, Master Splinter, Gadget, and Krang. Never has a group of characters cried out so powerfully for us to ask "how good is the sex and what is it like?" and we can promise that you'll get some answers that will make you gasp, laugh, and maybe even rush to AO3 for a fanfic fix. 

The video of the panel, slideshow, and individual rankings are publicly available on Patreon! Check it out here to see our adorable faces! Video and audio of the panel was recorded live at Rose City Comic Con 2023, courtesy of Derek Conrad of the Bugs Need Heroes podcast. Check it out here! "Hottest Female up in Whoville" can be found here!

Check out Hard Choices on social media and on Patreon for news from every corner of MeganBob's boner empire!

Hard Choices on Patreon Instagram: hardchoicespod TikTok: @hardchoicespod Twitter: @hardchoicespod Gmail: [email protected]

Music from Uppbeat (free for Creators!):   https://uppbeat.io/t/soundroll/funk-me  License code: PY3X4XBA59ZDUAVZ https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/funky-junk  License code: KIXMIV9S2VDVUHLW   https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/the-gentleman  License code: UWXG3BXPCASTYIHY   https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/lets-get-it  License code: MGTNINNDEXYJBAZQ   https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/high-life  License code: GE9B1XIV9R1VKMML   https://uppbeat.io/t/doug-organ/boogie-time  License code: QOVELAYOE1SDZQ4Y   https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/the-brighton-bop  License code: VWDJ4C60GOAIPACW   https://uppbeat.io/t/jonny-boyle/jazzed  License code: AVN7XPXUBHDBHFAM   https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/wake-me-up  License code: SPHCZLRSPZNRUK7R   https://uppbeat.io/t/walz/redcar-jazz  License code: A0MVEEBKYDDJ0EQY https://uppbeat.io/t/sonda/rock-it  License code: QFNICKIQJYO3DCZO https://uppbeat.io/t/tatami/dust License code: W2S2RPXGLVQIUO8J

On September 3rd, 2023, four plucky perverts disappeared into the depths of the Internet while recording a podcast about their yearning to fuck cryptids. One month later, their audio was found. (Then, the editor spent three weeks making it listenable. Two of the hosts were sick and the other two were sharing a microphone, so there are probably some errant thumps and sniffles, but let's not speak ill of the mysteriously vanished.) This episode is dedicated to

the four brave blur-chasers whose pursuit of the unknown (i.e., their desire to fuck Mothman ASAP) cost them what they held most dear (i.e, the possibility of fucking Mothman in the future).

Hard Choices on Patreon Instagram: hardchoicespod TikTok: @hardchoicespod Twitter: @hardchoicespod Gmail: [email protected]

Music from Uppbeat (free for Creators!):   https://uppbeat.io/t/soundroll/funk-me  License code: PY3X4XBA59ZDUAVZ https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/funky-junk  License code: KIXMIV9S2VDVUHLW   https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/the-gentleman  License code: UWXG3BXPCASTYIHY   https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/lets-get-it  License code: MGTNINNDEXYJBAZQ   https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/high-life  License code: GE9B1XIV9R1VKMML   https://uppbeat.io/t/doug-organ/boogie-time  License code: QOVELAYOE1SDZQ4Y   https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/the-brighton-bop  License code: VWDJ4C60GOAIPACW   https://uppbeat.io/t/jonny-boyle/jazzed  License code: AVN7XPXUBHDBHFAM   https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/wake-me-up  License code: SPHCZLRSPZNRUK7R   https://uppbeat.io/t/walz/redcar-jazz  License code: A0MVEEBKYDDJ0EQY https://uppbeat.io/t/sonda/rock-it  License code: QFNICKIQJYO3DCZO https://uppbeat.io/t/tatami/dust License code: W2S2RPXGLVQIUO8J