Hard Choices

Everybody to the limit! Well, maybe past the limit, because yes, we're ranking the fuckability of the Homestar Runner universe. Does it matter to you if the Cheat lives in a grill? Do you care if Homestar Runner is wearing pants? Just what can Strong Bad do while wearing boxing gloves? Join Patrick Rothfuss, James, D'Amato, Dillin Apelyan, Annie Craton, and MeganBob as they explore what makes fucking Senor Cardgage a 'probalo', whether getting possibly eaten by the King of Town is a dealbreaker, and to what extent it matters if the Poopsmith can shower. Along the way, you'll get to hear every possible iteration of how Coach Z might talk in the bedroom, what it sounds like when Marzipan comes, and we even make a detour to talk about that one tree branch that sounds like it's saying "Douglas".

Grab a bottle of Melonade (and maybe some vodka for good measure) and strap in for an episode that makes the rest of the Hard Choices catalog look almost normal.

Patreon: patreon.com/c/hardchoices Bad Choices - Shrek Livestream registration link Instagram: hardchoicespod Twitter: @hardchoicespod Bluesky: @hardchoicespodcast.bsky.social MeganBob's OnlyFans: onlyfans.com/meganbob Tuscon Comic Con

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Join James D'Amato, Kit, Maq, and MeganBob for the Bad Choices - Shrek livestream on August 9th at 5pm Pacific! Bad Choices - Shrek Livestream registration link Join Dan, Claire, JoJo Seames, and MeganBob on Friday, August 29th at 5:20pm in room 106 at Tucson Comic Con for an episode about Comic Book Villains! Tucson Comic Con registration link

Instagram: hardchoicespod Twitter: @hardchoicespod Bluesky: @hardchoicespodcast.bsky.social MeganBob's OnlyFans: onlyfans.com/meganbob

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Look, comic book superheroes have been around for a long time. Some of them get their own billion-dollar film franchises, toylines, video games, Halloween costumes, and breakfast cereals. But then there are the other guys. The ones the MCU won't touch. The ones that make Jack Kirby himself tilt his head in confusion. The weirdos that pop culture is content to forget.

But we at Hard Choices don't forget. Join Meganbob, Kris, and Jef and Jon from the System Mastery podcast as they go on a sexual escapade through the dustiest of back issue bins. From the Golden Age to the Modern Age, no spandex-clad hero is safe from our boners! Does Stardust the Super-Wizard have a blowjob ray that's up to the task? Is anyone on the Legion of Super-Heroes actually fuckable? What DOES Sleepwalker's cum taste like? And what extremely specific fantasy does Jef have that only Justice from the New Universe can fulfill? Listen in, True Believers, and find out!

Instagram: hardchoicespod Twitter: @hardchoicespod Bluesky: @hardchoicespodcast.bsky.social MeganBob's OnlyFans: onlyfans.com/meganbob

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This show is about so much more than getting a blowjob from a Muppet or finally knowing what Kraven the Hunter smells like. This show is about data. Only by carefully ranking fictional universes, represented by their median fuckable character, against one another can we arrive at a considered understanding of how these fandoms relate. Join Annie Craton, Kris Newton, Dan Mulkerin, and MeganBob for a voyage into the dead center of 21 lists. Along the way we ask ourselves, is Silver Sable from Spider -Man more fuckable than Guile from Street Fighter? Is Dragon from Shrek a better lay than King Kai from Dragon Ball? Only by making these scientifically rigorous comparisons will we ever truly understand the nature of fuckability, and therefore, the true nature of the human heart, which is obviously the real mission of the show, despite what those dweebs at the Peabody Awards think.

By the way! Saturday, August 9th at 5pm Pacific is Bad Choices: Shrek, the live and intoxicated version of Hard Choices, and it goes down through Patreon livestream for all $4.20 patrons! You'll get to participate in Let's Upack That among other perks that you'll find out about at patreon.com/hardchoices!

Instagram: hardchoicespod Twitter: @hardchoicespod Bluesky: @hardchoicespodcast.bsky.social MeganBob's OnlyFans: onlyfans.com/meganbob Music from Uppbeat (free for Creators!): https://uppbeat.io/t/soundroll/funk-me License code: PY3X4XBA59ZDUAVZ https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/funky-junk License code: KIXMIV9S2VDVUHLW https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/the-gentleman License code: UWXG3BXPCASTYIHY https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/lets-get-it License code: MGTNINNDEXYJBAZQ https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/high-life License code: GE9B1XIV9R1VKMML https://uppbeat.io/t/doug-organ/boogie-time License code: QOVELAYOE1SDZQ4Y https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/the-brighton-bop License code: VWDJ4C60GOAIPACW https://uppbeat.io/t/jonny-boyle/jazzed License code: AVN7XPXUBHDBHFAM https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/wake-me-up License code: SPHCZLRSPZNRUK7R https://uppbeat.io/t/walz/redcar-jazz License code: A0MVEEBKYDDJ0EQY https://uppbeat.io/t/sonda/rock-it License code: QFNICKIQJYO3DCZO

According to sensors, a freak ion storm has transported an alternate universe Hard Choices episode into this feed! But this is not Hard Choices as we know it. Instead, join Admiral James D'Amato, Captain Kris Newton, Agony Booth Test Subject Dan Mulkerin, and Madame Sharon Schneiderman as they take a harsh, sweaty look at the characters of Star Trek's Mirror Universe. WARNING: As befits an evil podcast, this episode contains sweeping spoilers for all of Star Trek's mirror universe episodes, and especially for Season 1 of Star Trek: Discovery. Hard Choices on Patreon: patreon.com/hardchoices Instagram: hardchoicespod Twitter: @hardchoicespod Bluesky: @hardchoicespodcast.bsky.social MeganBob's OnlyFans: onlyfans.com/meganbob Music from Uppbeat (free for Creators!): https://uppbeat.io/t/alex-besss/psycho License code: XDBZ1W5ZKG6XTEND https://uppbeat.io/t/alex-besss/zombie-world License code: DM71JAW3EJ5HENZV Used under Creative Commons licenses: March of Cruxorians by CRUXORIUM

Cue 1b - Tension-Drama-Building-Film Trailer-Cello and more with drums (Trailer For A Nonexistent Film 1) by Soularflair

Death March by Audiorezout This episode's podcast art includes elements from freepik.com.

Something was in the air in 2004 and we're not entirely sure what it was. Whatever it was, ABC's Lost was chockful of it and boy howdy was the landscape of American television ever weirder because of it. Join Kam Servo of UNspoiled! The Constant: Lost and newcomers Jody Troutman of LongTallJodie and Claire J. Vannette of Relationship Mastery, along with absolute Lost newbie, MeganBob, as they return to The Island. Along the way, we flash forward, backward, sideways, and probably diagonally too. We'll meet smoke monsters, polar bears, and a bunch of hot people on a vacation that's considerably worse than any you've ever taken.

Stir up a drink and sit down for a trip back to the height of must-see tv! Hard Choices on Patreon Instagram: hardchoicespod Twitter: @hardchoicespod Bluesky: @hardchoicespodcast.bsky.social MeganBob's OnlyFans: onlyfans.com/meganbob Music from Uppbeat (free for Creators!): https://uppbeat.io/t/soundroll/funk-me License code: PY3X4XBA59ZDUAVZ https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/funky-junk License code: KIXMIV9S2VDVUHLW https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/the-gentleman License code: UWXG3BXPCASTYIHY https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/lets-get-it License code: MGTNINNDEXYJBAZQ https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/high-life License code: GE9B1XIV9R1VKMML https://uppbeat.io/t/doug-organ/boogie-time License code: QOVELAYOE1SDZQ4Y https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/the-brighton-bop License code: VWDJ4C60GOAIPACW https://uppbeat.io/t/jonny-boyle/jazzed License code: AVN7XPXUBHDBHFAM https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/wake-me-up License code: SPHCZLRSPZNRUK7R https://uppbeat.io/t/walz/redcar-jazz License code: A0MVEEBKYDDJ0EQY https://uppbeat.io/t/sonda/rock-it License code: QFNICKIQJYO3DCZO

It's time to get in the wayback machine and revisit the characters that defined the mid-century American television landscape: Nick at Nite Couples. Bad Choices was exactly the right place to break out the fancy cocktail glasses, get fabulously dressed, and say things that would make shock our parents.

Join Kris Newton, James D'Amato, Marissa, and MeganBob in (drunkenly) ranking the fuckability of fictional characters that we grew up with, from Happy Days, to Bewitched, to I Love Lucy, to The Jeffersons, and beyond. MeganBob wants to look like a toaster strudel in the name of love, Marissa pioneers the bold new idea of destination orgasms, Kris Newton sees the romance in being surprised by a face peeking out of the mattress, and James D'Amato takes what may possibly be his most controversial stand yet!

Hit download, mix a drink, and enjoy the best filth Bad Choices can possibly offer!

Hard Choices on Patreon Instagram: hardchoicespod Twitter: @hardchoicespod Bluesky: @hardchoicespodcast.bsky.social MeganBob's OnlyFans: onlyfans.com/meganbob

Oh Captain, My Captain Marveling at Marvel's Marvels Garden Plots with Skeletor

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This enormous episode is guaranteed to make you go super saiyan! Now, will it be with shock? Outrage? Sheer overwhelming horniness? You'll have to listen to find out! We cover the sexual prowess of characters from the length, breadth, and width of Dragon Ball, in search of the median, zenith, and nadir of bedroom performance. The list of characters was so vast and series spanning, we broke our previous power levels and went to 23!

Join four intrepid kamehamehos, Annie Craton, James D'Amato, Chris Sims, and MeganBob, as they absolutely smash their way through everyone Akira Toriyama created. Along the way, MeganBob learns how many of the character names are food puns, Chris Sims is Correct, and we all question whether or not Goku knows where babies come from. Hit download and break out the Senzu beans, because you're going to need it to keep up your strength to make it through this classic anime f*ckfest! Hard Choices on Patreon Instagram: hardchoicespod Twitter: @hardchoicespod Bluesky: @hardchoicespodcast.bsky.social MeganBob's OnlyFans: onlyfans.com/meganbob Music from Uppbeat (free for Creators!): https://uppbeat.io/t/soundroll/funk-me License code: PY3X4XBA59ZDUAVZ https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/funky-junk License code: KIXMIV9S2VDVUHLW https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/the-gentleman License code: UWXG3BXPCASTYIHY https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/lets-get-it License code: MGTNINNDEXYJBAZQ https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/high-life License code: GE9B1XIV9R1VKMML https://uppbeat.io/t/doug-organ/boogie-time License code: QOVELAYOE1SDZQ4Y https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/the-brighton-bop License code: VWDJ4C60GOAIPACW https://uppbeat.io/t/jonny-boyle/jazzed License code: AVN7XPXUBHDBHFAM https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/wake-me-up License code: SPHCZLRSPZNRUK7R https://uppbeat.io/t/walz/redcar-jazz License code: A0MVEEBKYDDJ0EQY https://uppbeat.io/t/sonda/rock-it License code: QFNICKIQJYO3DCZO

Join us for the Bad Choices - Nick at Nite Couples livestream on Saturday, November 23rd at 5pm Pacific! Kris Newton and I go over our cocktail options for a very mid-century American vibe, and give some recommendations to get you ready for a night of debauchery and fun! Any patrons of Hard Choices can join in this delicious night of excess! Register HERE!

Not a patron of Hard Choices yet? Join HERE for as little as $1.69!

Hard Choices returns once more to stalk the night in search of boners. This time, it's every fuckable fuck-up in the world of What We Do in the Shadows. That's right! You get vampires, werewolves, a zombie, a milf, it's everything you could possibly want, plus a bunch of fun vampire accents!

Join the Hard Choices clan of Kris Newton, Dan, Kit, and MeganBob as they knock coffins with the Manhattan clan of the tv show and the original New Zealand clan of the movie. Hear Dan damn Sean Rinaldi with the faintest of praise. Listen to Kris opine on the evergreen nature of the Hitachi Magic Wand. Hear Bob try to wriggle their way into a fuck with Colin Robinson. Listen to Kit show everyone how you really assert dominance over a werewolf. Grab your favorite glass of red liquid, light the candelabras, put on all the lace and velvet and you own, and press play for spooky season listen guaranteed to be sweeter (and saltier) than any music the children of the night could cook up.

Click here to punch your ticket to Bad Choices - Nick at Nite Couples!

Hard Choices on Patreon Instagram: hardchoicespod Twitter: @hardchoicespod Bluesky: @hardchoicespodcast.bsky.social MeganBob's OnlyFans: onlyfans.com/meganbob Music from Uppbeat (free for Creators!): https://uppbeat.io/t/soundroll/funk-me License code: PY3X4XBA59ZDUAVZ https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/funky-junk License code: KIXMIV9S2VDVUHLW https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/the-gentleman License code: UWXG3BXPCASTYIHY https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/lets-get-it License code: MGTNINNDEXYJBAZQ https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/high-life License code: GE9B1XIV9R1VKMML https://uppbeat.io/t/doug-organ/boogie-time License code: QOVELAYOE1SDZQ4Y https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/the-brighton-bop License code: VWDJ4C60GOAIPACW https://uppbeat.io/t/jonny-boyle/jazzed License code: AVN7XPXUBHDBHFAM https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/wake-me-up License code: SPHCZLRSPZNRUK7R https://uppbeat.io/t/walz/redcar-jazz License code: A0MVEEBKYDDJ0EQY https://uppbeat.io/t/sonda/rock-it License code: QFNICKIQJYO3DCZO