When Sir Terry Pratchett put pen to paper and first began to shape what would become Discworld, he could not have known that down the line, some little gang of weirdos on the internet would spend almost three hours getting scientifically horny about it. But with a world as rich, multi-layered, and full of larger than life characters as Discworld, it was, perhaps, inevitable.

Join our coven of podcasters as they plow through 21 of the Disc's most notable characters to find the zenith, median, and nadir of fuckability in a spree that would make Nanny Ogg proud. You'll get to hear Dan take on the role of 'episode outlier', experience Annie Craton's passion for a certain cat turned man, delight as James D'Amato asks probing questions about just how being into feet works, and listen to MeganBob opine on what exactly Troll cum tastes like. So pull up a chair, get yourself a drink, and strap in for a ride that we're not sure even Rincewind could survive! Hard Choices on Patreon Instagram: hardchoicespod Twitter: @hardchoicespod Bluesky: @hardchoicespodcast.bsky.social MeganBob's OnlyFans: onlyfans.com/meganbob

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We're escaping the swamp and coming to you live and full of intoxicating libations because it's Bad Choices! Bad Choices is our drunk liveshow that we broadcast on Crowdcast approximately 2-3 times a year and this time we dove headfirst into one of DreamWorks' most inexplicably beloved franchises, Shrek, to get nasty with Donkey, Gingy, and the rest of the gang! Join James D'Amato, Kit, Maq, and MeganBob as they drink deep and get to grips with what Humpty Dumpty cums, who you find at a gay bathhouse, and a surprise Big Feels that still has us reeling months later. After that, we take viewer questions and then read a fanfic that you, the brave and foolhardy patrons voted for! Grab a drink, settle in, and enjoy(?) a journey to the land of Far Far Away that no amount of alcohol could prepare you for!

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Aye-yi-yi-yi-yi! Turn your TV back to 1993 and settle in for a Hard Choices episode of hard-hitting, backflipping, wildly gesticulating action. That's right, it's time to power up by fucking our way through 21 of the most memorably vile villains that questionable English localization can offer! Join our hosts James D'Amato, Jake Mason, Claire Mulkerin, and MeganBob as they suit up to face the meanest aliens, mightiest wizards, and rubberiest robots the mad geniuses at Saban have to offer! James gets involved with couples in messy ongoing divorces, Claire is spoiled for choice when it comes to mean goth ladies, Jake is undaunted by Rita Repulsa's unique voice, and MeganBob reveals the secret to wrecking an incel. So suit up in your monochromatic outift of choice, hit download, and enjoy an episode guaranteed to make YOUR monster grow!

Patreon: patreon.com/c/hardchoices Instagram: hardchoicespod Twitter: @hardchoicespod Bluesky: @hardchoicespodcast.bsky.social MeganBob's OnlyFans: onlyfans.com/meganbob

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At last! We have you in our clutches, restrained and unable to do anything but sit back and listen to our objectively correct* takes on some of the most fuckable villains that comic books have to offer! You will join Dan Mulkerin, Claire Mulkerin, JoJo Seames, and MeganBob as they deliver diabolical monologues guaranteed to set both heart and loins aflame. They tangle with the likes of Lex Luthor and Doctor Doom along with some villains who you might not expect like Batroc the Leaper and Orca the Whale Woman. Truly, we are nothing if not fair in our villain fuckery! This episode also takes you backstage to the green room where your four fiendish hosts debrief about the things they said and some of the things they wish they'd said in this most evil of episodes. Whether you're a fan of Marvel, DC, or indie comics, this episode will take you to the very limits of felonious fuckability, so download, press play and enjoy! Patreon: patreon.com/c/hardchoices Instagram: hardchoicespod Twitter: @hardchoicespod Bluesky: @hardchoicespodcast.bsky.social MeganBob's OnlyFans: onlyfans.com/meganbob

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Double-check your Item Level and apply your favorite glamours, because this month we're logging into the weird, wild, and frequently patched world of Final Fantasy XIV! Dan, Kit, and Meganbob group up with Jef from System Mastery to take a spin on the BOOTY Roulette. Which character will prove to be the Zenith, which the Nadir, and how many are just straight up unpronounceable? What ancient Allagan sex tricks does Urianger have up his sleeve? Does Zenos even know what sex is? Is Nidhogg too toxic of a dragon for even Meganbob's boner to handle? Use the /listen emote to find out!

Patreon: patreon.com/c/hardchoices Bad Choices - Shrek Livestream registration link Instagram: hardchoicespod Twitter: @hardchoicespod Bluesky: @hardchoicespodcast.bsky.social MeganBob's OnlyFans: onlyfans.com/meganbob Tuscon Comic Con

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Everybody to the limit! Well, maybe past the limit, because yes, we're ranking the fuckability of the Homestar Runner universe. Does it matter to you if the Cheat lives in a grill? Do you care if Homestar Runner is wearing pants? Just what can Strong Bad do while wearing boxing gloves? Join Patrick Rothfuss, James, D'Amato, Dillin Apelyan, Annie Craton, and MeganBob as they explore what makes fucking Senor Cardgage a 'probalo', whether getting possibly eaten by the King of Town is a dealbreaker, and to what extent it matters if the Poopsmith can shower. Along the way, you'll get to hear every possible iteration of how Coach Z might talk in the bedroom, what it sounds like when Marzipan comes, and we even make a detour to talk about that one tree branch that sounds like it's saying "Douglas".

Grab a bottle of Melonade (and maybe some vodka for good measure) and strap in for an episode that makes the rest of the Hard Choices catalog look almost normal.

Patreon: patreon.com/c/hardchoices Bad Choices - Shrek Livestream registration link Instagram: hardchoicespod Twitter: @hardchoicespod Bluesky: @hardchoicespodcast.bsky.social MeganBob's OnlyFans: onlyfans.com/meganbob Tuscon Comic Con

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Join James D'Amato, Kit, Maq, and MeganBob for the Bad Choices - Shrek livestream on August 9th at 5pm Pacific! Bad Choices - Shrek Livestream registration link Join Dan, Claire, JoJo Seames, and MeganBob on Friday, August 29th at 5:20pm in room 106 at Tucson Comic Con for an episode about Comic Book Villains! Tucson Comic Con registration link

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Look, comic book superheroes have been around for a long time. Some of them get their own billion-dollar film franchises, toylines, video games, Halloween costumes, and breakfast cereals. But then there are the other guys. The ones the MCU won't touch. The ones that make Jack Kirby himself tilt his head in confusion. The weirdos that pop culture is content to forget.

But we at Hard Choices don't forget. Join Meganbob, Kris, and Jef and Jon from the System Mastery podcast as they go on a sexual escapade through the dustiest of back issue bins. From the Golden Age to the Modern Age, no spandex-clad hero is safe from our boners! Does Stardust the Super-Wizard have a blowjob ray that's up to the task? Is anyone on the Legion of Super-Heroes actually fuckable? What DOES Sleepwalker's cum taste like? And what extremely specific fantasy does Jef have that only Justice from the New Universe can fulfill? Listen in, True Believers, and find out!

Instagram: hardchoicespod Twitter: @hardchoicespod Bluesky: @hardchoicespodcast.bsky.social MeganBob's OnlyFans: onlyfans.com/meganbob

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This show is about so much more than getting a blowjob from a Muppet or finally knowing what Kraven the Hunter smells like. This show is about data. Only by carefully ranking fictional universes, represented by their median fuckable character, against one another can we arrive at a considered understanding of how these fandoms relate. Join Annie Craton, Kris Newton, Dan Mulkerin, and MeganBob for a voyage into the dead center of 21 lists. Along the way we ask ourselves, is Silver Sable from Spider -Man more fuckable than Guile from Street Fighter? Is Dragon from Shrek a better lay than King Kai from Dragon Ball? Only by making these scientifically rigorous comparisons will we ever truly understand the nature of fuckability, and therefore, the true nature of the human heart, which is obviously the real mission of the show, despite what those dweebs at the Peabody Awards think.

By the way! Saturday, August 9th at 5pm Pacific is Bad Choices: Shrek, the live and intoxicated version of Hard Choices, and it goes down through Patreon livestream for all $4.20 patrons! You'll get to participate in Let's Upack That among other perks that you'll find out about at patreon.com/hardchoices!

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According to sensors, a freak ion storm has transported an alternate universe Hard Choices episode into this feed! But this is not Hard Choices as we know it. Instead, join Admiral James D'Amato, Captain Kris Newton, Agony Booth Test Subject Dan Mulkerin, and Madame Sharon Schneiderman as they take a harsh, sweaty look at the characters of Star Trek's Mirror Universe. WARNING: As befits an evil podcast, this episode contains sweeping spoilers for all of Star Trek's mirror universe episodes, and especially for Season 1 of Star Trek: Discovery. Hard Choices on Patreon: patreon.com/hardchoices Instagram: hardchoicespod Twitter: @hardchoicespod Bluesky: @hardchoicespodcast.bsky.social MeganBob's OnlyFans: onlyfans.com/meganbob Music from Uppbeat (free for Creators!): https://uppbeat.io/t/alex-besss/psycho License code: XDBZ1W5ZKG6XTEND https://uppbeat.io/t/alex-besss/zombie-world License code: DM71JAW3EJ5HENZV Used under Creative Commons licenses: March of Cruxorians by CRUXORIUM

Cue 1b - Tension-Drama-Building-Film Trailer-Cello and more with drums (Trailer For A Nonexistent Film 1) by Soularflair

Death March by Audiorezout This episode's podcast art includes elements from freepik.com.