NeuroDiverse Christian Couples

Have a Do Nothing Day


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Have a Do Nothing Day
 Topic:
The guys dive into the complex challenge of mental rest and the idea of having a “do nothing” day. What does it mean to truly rest, especially for neurodiverse men whose minds rarely stop racing?
 Main Themes & Takeaways:
• Rest vs. Productivity:
Many participants admit that even when given free time, they struggle to stop doing. Rest often becomes just another task to accomplish.
• Making Rest Intentional:
Some found that designating rest as a “task” (e.g., the duty of Sabbath or the ministry of presence) helps them engage more fully in non-productive activities without guilt.
• Manual Tasks as Restful:
Simple, repetitive manual labor (such as weeding, doing dishes, or cutting grass) often provides enough stimulation to keep the body occupied and allow the mind to slow down.
• Rest Styles Are Individual:
The conversation affirmed that rest is highly personal—some find rest in watching sports or shows, while others find it through reading or physical exercise. What’s restful to one (e.g., pulling weeds) can feel like torture to another.
• Mental Stillness Is Harder Than Physical Stillness:
Most of the men agreed that while they can stop moving, stopping their minds from constantly thinking or solving problems is a much harder task.
• Neurodiversity and Rest:
The group highlighted how neurodivergent wiring affects the experience of rest. ADHD traits, pathological demand avoidance, and autism spectrum traits influence how they pursue or avoid downtime.
• The Role of Family Systems:
The guys acknowledged the need to consider how one’s version of rest fits into the broader family context. Rest shouldn’t disrupt the connection with spouses or children.
• Sabbath Framed as Task and Discipline:
Rest, especially in a spiritual context, is seen not as laziness but as obedience, modeled after God’s rest on the seventh day. It may take discipline to actually stop.
 Humor & Insight:
From references to Phineas and Ferb’s “Do Nothing Day” to humorous yet poignant nods to North Korean labor camps (as a metaphor for tasks they dislike), the episode strikes a balance between depth and levity.
 Closing Reflection:
True rest might not be inactivity—it might be freedom from expectations. For these men, a restful day often still includes accomplishments, but they come without pressure or obligation.
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NeuroDiverse Christian CouplesBy Dr. Stephanie Holmes

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