Dear Steve and Shirley, I'm thirty nine years old, and I'm sad to say that I've been a side chick for most of my adult life. I got used to men saying they were in a terrible marriage or they weren't married at all. So I started calling wives and girlfriends of the men that I was sleeping with. Earlier this year, I started going to church regularly, and I was celibate for three months. Then I met a really great guy named Jarvis. Jarvis is my preacher's nephew, so I figured he's a stand up guy. He said he was attracted to me because I'm always smelling good. He said he loves my love handles and the dimples in my butt. He asked me to be his girlfriend, and I got butterflies. I had to investigate him first though. I found him on Facebook and I saw pictures of his skinny girlfriend all over his page..............................

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.