Today’s podcast answers a question from someone who’s been through a very difficult ordeal in their parish setting. Often times in these situations, confusion and hurt abound. Knowing when it’s okay to walk away and start new somewhere can be a difficult decision. Traumatic experiences are profoundly disempowering. Part of the healing process is becoming empowered. It’s okay to use God’s gift of free will and follow our dignity.

Today’s podcast is a brief discussion on how traumatic experiences can be passed down. Often those on the healing path have gone to great lengths to make sure their children never experience what they did. However, often to our dismay, we might notice our kids showing the same struggles we did. This is because our painful experiences can get passed down genetically. This can be a painful realization for a parent. However, there are also positives. What is passed down can be changed.

Today’s podcast answers a question from someone who has been very very confused by the discrepancy between the memory of their experiences and what their body is telling them. This can often lead us to doubt ourselves and make us believe and feel that something is wrong with us. When our body is telling us a story we do not understand or have memory of, it can feel very frightening. Leaning into what our body is telling us requires counseling and making sure we are being patient and gentle with ourselves, and also having a strong therapeutic relationship.

Today’s podcast discusses how friendships in today’s world are hard to come by. There are multiple reasons for this. One is that the resources of time and having the mental bandwidth for a friendship are more scarce. However, our society also has become more egocentric and self-centered, which disrupts the synergy and reciprocity needed for a healthy friendship. There is also a difficult discussion on having to ask ourselves difficult questions to assess are we a healthy friend to others.

Today’s podcast answers a question from a grieving mother. Since her son had passed away by taking his own life years ago, she has limited herself to several prayers she had found that imply that the one praying the prayers is risking sinning and has led to the mother feeling shamed. How to handle praying for those who committed suicide is discussed in this podcast.

Today’s podcast speaks to what are realistic expectations of the healing work. The end result is not the absence of struggle or the complete disappearance of difficult emotions. The reality is, a little bit of pain and struggle are directional and we need them to keep moving and not get too comfortable in this world. The example of Saint Paul is also discussed. In the end, our struggles are not sins, but rather they allow room through which God‘s grace can act.

Today’s podcast answers a question from someone who is trying to start their life with their husband, but the pain and dysfunction of their family of origin calls for them daily. Even though the submitter of the question is married and outside of their childhood home, they are still playing the same role they did when they were a child. Today’s podcast discusses how to break free from a family of origin that has never changed so that we can have a chance at a healthy and peaceful life.

Today’s podcast answers a question from someone who grew up in a fatherless home, and there was also much conflict and upset. As a result of these experiences, the submitter of the question experiences intense fear and stress around members of the opposite gender. Despite having done much work on this, they still struggle. They have also fallen into sexual addiction as a way to cope with the pain and stress associated with this.

Today’s podcast speaks to a request by a listener, to speak on the topic of accountability, specifically in a parish setting. A healthy parish is one that does not tolerate negative or unhealthy behavior. This means being able to have the difficult conversations. Also, the perception that we can sometimes hide our negative behaviors in the church and not have to work on them is also addressed.

Today’s podcast focuses on how to discern the difference between being selfish and selfless, specifically around setting boundaries or anytime we assert ourselves. When it comes to depicting the self as bad, we have to be very careful when speaking in absolutes or in all or nothing language. The reality is, when someone is healing from trauma, there are times when the sense of self has to be focused on as a temporary passage, in order to achieve becoming selfless.