In this episode Neil responds to a woman who wonders why Neil didn't identify verbal abuse in last week's podcast. She had been in an abusive relationship but didn't realize it until she read Patricia Evans' book, The Verbally Abusive Relationship and is concerned that if it isn't called out, that we're enabling it. Neil explains the many factors that can influence how derogatory words are used and felt and how the label of abuse can be used productively and why sometimes it is not. Neil recommends Patricia Evans' books and wants the listener to know that their emotional needs matter and that they always deserve respect, and adopting a personally empowered position and establishing healthy limits and boundaries is the best way to address issues and problems in a relationship and the best way to get great results in your life in general.

In this episode Neil responds to a woman who is feeling stuck and hopeless about her marriage. She describes her husband as uncaring, charming, and making everything her fault. Neil explains the vital importance of couples needing a "learning and growing" attitude in order to build the skills for managing negative feelings and life problems. He speaks to how challenging this is given the need to be true to ourselves, while making room for our partner. Neil offers this woman a way forward for herself and gives her some scripts for being empathetic and also setting limits with her husband. Have a question for Neil? Submit it now for discussion on a future episode of The Healthy Family Connections Podcast: http://neildbrown.com/submit

In this episode Neil welcomes in the New Year of 2019 with a New Year's Resolution for us all; a mindset of Kindness. Neil starts with Kindness towards "the self" and how powerful and productive this can be. He moves on to Kindness towards the earth, our families, and random acts of kindness. Neil wants the listener to understand that a Kindness Mindset can improve our mental health, and the mental health of everyone we encounter. Have a question for Neil? Submit it now for discussion on a future episode of The Healthy Family Connections Podcast: http://neildbrown.com/submit

Episode Description: In this episode, Neil responds to a mother wanting to decide when to reinstate privileges lost by her 16 year-old son for acting out. Neil takes on the many languages and philosophies for setting and implementing limits with teens. He introduces his tool, The Gap, to shift responsibility for reinstating lost privileges from parents to teens thus ending Control Battles and supporting essential teen learning and growing. Have a question for Neil? Submit it now for discussion on a future episode of The Healthy Family Connections Podcast: http://neildbrown.com/submit

In this episode Neil responds to a question from a Father who wants advice on how to respond to his daughter's request to leave the college she just started, and come home. Neil speaks to the challenges of this profound life transition that often does not get the attention it deserves. Neil also explains how certain characteristics in families can offer young adult support at the expense of independence in some and independence at the expense of support in others. Neil gives this father an example of how he can speak with his daughter about staying and giving college a chance. Have a question for Neil? Submit it now for discussion on a future episode of The Healthy Family Connections Podcast: http://neildbrown.com/submit

In this episode Neil responds to a question from a mother who is wondering how family therapy would address a negative pattern in her family beyond what might be offered by parenting advise. Neil takes the opportunity of her question to explain some of the basic tenants of family therapy and he demonstrates dialogue that might be used in family therapy with this mother’s family. In this demonstration, Neil empowers each family member to “starve the beast” or change the negative pattern in the family

In this episode Neil responds to a question from a mother who is struggling with her 16 year old son, a positive young man who wants to please, but he gets himself in serious trouble every couple of months. This mother is concerned because Dad thinks their son is insincere and acting the part of the nice kid to get what he wants and she is feeling the fool for supporting him. Neil explains moral development and how some acting out teens have not internalized a value system, but others have and he reassures this Mom that her son does have an internalized value system, but is in a self-destructive cycle, supported by a family control battle. Neil gives this mother the necessary steps to end the control battle and support her son out of his self-destructive cycle. Neil challenges listeners to avoid shaming teens when they make bad decisions and instead ask the question, "why is a good kid like you, making bad decisions like this?" Have a question for Neil? Submit it now for discussion on a future episode of The Healthy Family Connections Podcast: http://neildbrown.com/submit

In this episode Neil responds to a question from a mother who is wondering if she is doing by sending her son to weekly therapy. He is socially isolated, plays endless video games, doesn't eat or sleep well, and is anxious and depressed. Neil explains that it isn't going to be helpful because Mom doesn't know what is underlying his behavior and her son is unmotivated and doesn't have insight into is own issues either. Neil suggests psychological testing as a way to understand his issues; his strengths and the areas he needs to work on, and how best to work on them. Neil challenges listeners that when they are concerned about the behaviors of the children, teens, and young adults they are parenting or working with, to be sure they understand what is driving the behavior and be sure to own their part of the solution. Have a question for Neil? Submit it now for discussion on a future episode of The Healthy Family Connections Podcast: http://neildbrown.com/submit

In this episode Neil responds to a question from a mother who is wondering if Dads tend to be peacekeepers and because of that, support mediocrity while Moms support high standards and peace through accomplishment. Neil explains the many circumstances that feed this common dynamic but Neil doesn't stop there. He offers a way forward so that these negative patterns don't prevail. Have a question for Neil? Submit it now for discussion on a future episode of The Healthy Family Connections Podcast: http://neildbrown.com/submit

In this episode Neil shares his childhood, young adult and professional journey and how he came to see family therapy as an opportunity for powerful change. In this rare and untypical podcast, Neil goes beyond his thoughts about families, children and teens, and takes on the bigger issues of our society, our political structure, and our planet. Neil does come "back to earth" and offers ways address these issues in families. Have a question for Neil? Submit it now for discussion on a future episode of The Healthy Family Connections Podcast: http://neildbrown.com/submit