The BBC's Rahila Bano, explains why her family decided to break with the Muslim tradition of a congregational prayer reading for her mother after she passed away. Instead she decided to concentrate on one of the five pillars of Islam - to give alms or charity and on her mother's wishes to focus on those who are poor and in need. Rahila spoke to her sister about it for the first time since her mum’s death. She also spoke to a friend who lost her mother about why she decided to organise a prayer gathering in her mother's memory and to an Islamic scholar who says  “khatams” are not really part of Islam