Hello Dysfunction

Crystal needs to CHILL OUT. Peez is having a big girl week. Teach your kids to keep their hands off other ppl’s property and we’ve updated some things on Patreon. IG is following accounts on it’s own, vaping is more dangerous that we realized, some of these kids games are advertising s*x games and Covid is back in town. 

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• BetterHelp

Professional therapy from the comfort of your own home.
Right now BetterHelp is offering a discount to our listeners. For 10% off your first month head over to betterhelp.com and use discount code HELLO, that’s betterhelp.com/HELLO

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Mosquitos are attacking. We’re on YouTube. Corn really angers Crystal and Pata Fria wants a stud farmer. Since it’s available, everyone should be using full body deodorant. Stop remaking movies. Technology is killing is and our government is a joke.

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Hot weather sucks.
Don’t hang out near people’s front door. Peez is a singer, anonymous harassment is cowardly and technology is getting scary. 
Tempers are short, Bay Area bippers are out of control and we don’t really mind if you want to have fun with our deceased family. 

Check out this week’s sponsor! 

• BetterHelp

Professional therapy from the comfort of your own home.
Right now BetterHelp is offering a discount to our listeners. For 10% off your first month head over to betterhelp.com and use discount code HELLO, that’s betterhelp.com/HELLO

For bonus episodes join our Patreon!! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction

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We’ve had a week of bullshit, another one bites the dust, more words we like and some new natural biohacks. Watch who you pocket dial, costume jewelry is not for men, pray for Maui and we’re headed to the desert. 

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Pat is recovering from alcohol poisoning. 
The live shows were more than we ever hoped for. Crystal thinks she has a “dance space”. Nations got us thinking we’re famous. Is Lizzo disgusting? Crystal is Peez’ favorite person in the world. And Taco Bell better stop skimping us. 

Check out this week’s sponsor! 

• BetterHelp

Professional therapy from the comfort of your own home.
Right now BetterHelp is offering a discount to our listeners. For 10% off your first month head over to betterhelp.com and use discount code HELLO, that’s betterhelp.com/HELLO

For bonus episodes join our Patreon!! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction

Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction
Instagram.com/lurkpatafria
Instagram.com/crystaldamato21

Email us your questions/stories at: [email protected]

We’re bleeding, overwhelmed and preparing for the live shows. Pata Fria is testing a new intimate bleaching cream, it’s Jimbo’s birthday, William hurt himself and Mark has been a huge help. A UTI vaccine is coming, a little progress is being made in the Tupac murder investigation, don’t fake a kidnapping and don’t act a fool in another country. 

Check out this week’s sponsor! 

• BetterHelp

Professional therapy from the comfort of your own home.
Right now BetterHelp is offering a discount to our listeners. For 10% off your first month head over to betterhelp.com and use discount code HELLO, that’s betterhelp.com/HELLO

For bonus episodes join our Patreon!! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction

Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction
Instagram.com/lurkpatafria
Instagram.com/crystaldamato21

Email us your questions/stories at: [email protected]

It’s been a rough eventful week.
Crystal is losing a toenail, displays excellent self control and has another new word for us. Pata Fria got a new car, shot photos in a kinky dream house and had an interaction with a possible trafficker. 

Check out this week’s sponsor! 

• BetterHelp

Professional therapy from the comfort of your own home.
Right now BetterHelp is offering a discount to our listeners. For 10% off your first month head over to betterhelp.com and use discount code HELLO, that’s betterhelp.com/HELLO

For bonus episodes join our Patreon!! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction

Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction
Instagram.com/lurkpatafria
Instagram.com/crystaldamato21

Email us your questions/stories at: [email protected]

We’re fancy and video production has begun. 
Pata Fria is experiencing creative mania, Crystal is showing off her vocabulary and if someone asks you about an enemy just say they died. 
Don’t let your power get cut off, be kind to shipping employees and you know gore is bad when it leaves you with chest pains. 

Check out this week’s sponsor! 

• BetterHelp

Professional therapy from the comfort of your own home.
Right now BetterHelp is offering a discount to our listeners. For 10% off your first month head over to betterhelp.com and use discount code HELLO, that’s betterhelp.com/HELLO

For bonus episodes join our Patreon!! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction

Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction
Instagram.com/lurkpatafria
Instagram.com/crystaldamato21

Email us your questions/stories at: [email protected]

Finally some nice weather. 
Happy Birthday Bunny! RIP Billy and shoutout to all the great dads. Real panic auto adjusts your senses, stay out of submarines, Pata Fria had another planned parenthood date and don’t be the friend with the smelly vagina. 

Check out this week’s sponsor! 

• BetterHelp

Professional therapy from the comfort of your own home.
Right now BetterHelp is offering a discount to our listeners. For 10% off your first month head over to betterhelp.com and use discount code HELLO, that’s betterhelp.com/HELLO

For bonus episodes join our Patreon!! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction

Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction
Instagram.com/lurkpatafria
Instagram.com/crystaldamato21

Email us your questions/stories at: [email protected]

Pata Fria is off her meds.
Crystal has PTSD from a popular love song.
Compliments from women are the only ones that matter and Orcas have had enough.
Being naturally funny makes anyone attractive and you never know what’s coming when Carolyn is on live.

For bonus episodes join our Patreon!! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction

Follow us on IG:
Instagram.com/hellodysfunction
Instagram.com/lurkpatafria
Instagram.com/crystaldamato21

Email us your questions/stories at: [email protected]