Hello Dysfunction

Crystal has a serious announcement. 
We have an official HD tattoo. 
Americans sometimes have to share prescriptions, Carolyn is a natural liar and she might have some secrets. 
Pata Fria has some excellent post-breakup advice, Big Mama got her groove back and having standards is actually really important. 

Check out this week’s sponsor! 

• BetterHelp

Professional therapy from the comfort of your own home.
Right now BetterHelp is offering a discount to our listeners. For 10% off your first month head over to betterhelp.com and use discount code HELLO, that’s betterhelp.com/HELLO

For bonus episodes join our Patreon!! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction

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Instagram.com/lurkpatafria
Instagram.com/crystaldamato21

Email us your questions/stories at: [email protected]

Pata Fria drank a cigarette and feels sick. 
Nations loves us therefore we’re famous. 
RIP Tina Turner. 
Be careful doing whip it’s, Nicki Minaj is embarrassing, men are not our favorite and the universe has been picking on Crystal. 

For bonus episodes join our Patreon!! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction

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Pata Fria is the birthday girl. 
And also Stevi. 
Mother’s Day was lovely, Crystal’s parents are inappropriate and our background noise is always a surprise. How honest are you? We hate Walgreens and love a good crime doc. 

For bonus episodes join our Patreon!! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction

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Instagram.com/lurkpatafria
Instagram.com/crystaldamato21

Email us your questions/stories at: [email protected] 

Crystal thinks she’s so funny at the worst times. 
Peez and Crystal have the same pronunciation, Mae and Ivan are done, Pata Fria is fired from the promo team and mark your calendars for the live show!! 

Check out this week’s sponsor! 

• BetterHelp

Professional therapy from the comfort of your own home.
Right now BetterHelp is offering a discount to our listeners. For 10% off your first month head over to betterhelp.com and use discount code HELLO, that’s betterhelp.com/HELLO

For bonus episodes join our Patreon!! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction

Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction
Instagram.com/lurkpatafria
Instagram.com/crystaldamato21

Email us your questions/stories at: [email protected] 

It’s really true what they say, what’s done in the dark will always come to light.
What happened to girl code?
Crystal is almost prom queen at the new Safeway and many thanks to Robyn.  

For bonus episodes join our Patreon!! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction

Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction
Instagram.com/lurkpatafria
Instagram.com/crystaldamato21

Email us your questions/stories at: [email protected] 

This week Hello Dysfunction got to sit in with another Bay Area podcast, Burbeck and Garretson. We got some male prospective and a lot covered with seven of us all sitting in. 

Follow them for more awesome episodes at Burbeck & Garretson on Spotify 
and Instagram.com/burbeckandgarretson 

Check out this week’s sponsor! 

• BetterHelp

Professional therapy from the comfort of your own home.
Right now BetterHelp is offering a discount to our listeners. For 10% off your first month head over to betterhelp.com and use discount code HELLO, that’s betterhelp.com/HELLO

For bonus episodes join our Patreon!! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction

Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction
Instagram.com/lurkpatafria
Instagram.com/crystaldamato21

Email us your questions/stories at: [email protected] 

We’re still sick. 
Pata Fria is drunk and off her meds. 
The craft supplies are out of hand and Crystal has some great white trash tattoos. 
Crystal’s family has more dark secrets and sharing a bed is poor people shit. 

Check out this week’s sponsor! 

• BetterHelp

Professional therapy from the comfort of your own home.
Right now BetterHelp is offering a discount to our listeners. For 10% off your first month head over to betterhelp.com and use discount code HELLO, that’s betterhelp.com/HELLO

For bonus episodes join our Patreon!! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction

Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction
Instagram.com/lurkpatafria
Instagram.com/crystaldamato21

Email us your questions/stories at: [email protected] 

Crystal loves having phlegm. 
Pata Fria is going thru metamorphosis. Again. 
Peez loves to cause a scene and cigarettes are pretty hot. Crystal’s dream ruined their new lashes, local sex workers are making everyone really proud, eating food in the bathroom isn’t that bad and the 90s were pretty barbaric. 

For bonus episodes join our Patreon!! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction

Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction
Instagram.com/lurkpatafria
Instagram.com/crystaldamato21

Email us your questions/stories at: [email protected] 

Rest In Peace Queen Prudence. 
Stand on one foot if something is wrong. 
Pata Fria is a single woman and will be for the rest of her life. 
Poppies and eagles are for Merica.
Carolyn is gonna hit Crystal any day now.
Uncle Jimmy wants something and Pata Fria really doesn’t need alcohol. 

Check out this week’s sponsor! 

• BetterHelp

Professional therapy from the comfort of your own home.
Right now BetterHelp is offering a discount to our listeners. For 10% off your first month head over to betterhelp.com and use discount code HELLO, that’s betterhelp.com/HELLO

For bonus episodes join our Patreon!! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction

Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction
Instagram.com/lurkpatafria
Instagram.com/crystaldamato21

Email us your questions/stories at: [email protected] 

This week we’re doing something different and sharing part of an episode that was exclusive to Patreon and we really enjoyed. We hope you like it, the full episode and video are on Patreon. 

Check out this week’s sponsor! 

• BetterHelp

Professional therapy from the comfort of your own home.
Right now BetterHelp is offering a discount to our listeners. For 10% off your first month head over to betterhelp.com and use discount code HELLO, that’s betterhelp.com/HELLO

For bonus episodes join our Patreon!! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction

Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction
Instagram.com/lurkpatafria
Instagram.com/crystaldamato21

Email us your questions/stories at: [email protected]