Hello Dysfunction

Sinus infections, vertigo and stomach viruses…oh my! Traffic has Crystal ready to leave earth and tummy tuck swelling is an unpleasant surprise. It’s now illegal to send surprise unwanted nudes in CA and Trump is going to jail.

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It’s a wild Saturday night! 
Crystal got crop dusted, smoking used to be really cool, don’t encourage conversation with strangers and please always ask before dropping some heavy loads on someone. 
Pata Fria can’t see and is still getting really manic. Crystal has taken steps to get her ADD under control and is drinking more water. Fords have no loyalty and being yourself will ultimately give you the best life experience. 

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• BetterHelp

Professional therapy from the comfort of your own home.
Right now BetterHelp is offering a discount to our listeners. For 10% off your first month head over to betterhelp.com and use discount code HELLO, that’s betterhelp.com/HELLO

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Crystal is planning a no dairy challenge, Peez is after all the babies, driving in the rain is scary and people are always showing up at Pata Fria’s door. 
Carolyn is doing and not doing whatever she wants, insulting racist humor isn’t funny and you don’t have to claim your whiteness if you don’t want to. 

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Pay your bills. Crystal is on the loose! We’re experiencing a REAL winter right now and Pata Fria’s foot is probably fractured. Mayo is really important to Crystal, Pata Fria has been leaning on God and they’re both considering starting a church.

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Valentines Day was cute, same day delivery is dangerous, we can definitely be bought and some people don’t have visual imagination! 
Childhood trauma is so so hard. We miss old TV dinners. Don’t let your kids date adults and Pata Fria has an album coming soon 

Check out this week’s sponsor!

• BetterHelp

Professional therapy from the comfort of your own home.
Right now BetterHelp is offering a discount to our listeners. For 10% off your first month head over to betterhelp.com and use discount code HELLO, that’s betterhelp.com/HELLO

For bonus episodes join our Patreon!! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction

Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction
Instagram.com/lurkpatafria
Instagram.com/crystaldamato21

Email us your questions/stories at: [email protected] 

Surgery is done! 
Pata Fria had a rough time but she’s finally home. 
Don’t judge a book by it’s cover, re-use your towels and Robert Crumb is basically Crystal’s family. 

Check out this week’s sponsor!

• BetterHelp

Professional therapy from the comfort of your own home.
Right now BetterHelp is offering a discount to our listeners. For 10% off your first month head over to betterhelp.com and use discount code HELLO, that’s betterhelp.com/HELLO

For bonus episodes join our Patreon!! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction

Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction
Instagram.com/lurkpatafria
Instagram.com/crystaldamato21

Email us your questions/stories at: [email protected] 

It’s episode 200!!!!
We’ve been doing this for 200 years.
Jimmy is alive. Happy Birthday Stinkers.
Build A Bear has gone too far.
Pay attention to the messages the universe sends you and don’t forget your kegals.

For bonus episodes join our Patreon!! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction

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Did your family swim in garbage cans? 
RSV is terrifying. Dnt throw away cookies and try not to pee your pants. 
Everyone’s info is on the internet and if you have it in you, be a Dom. 

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Happy New Year!!
Don’t pawn your family’s decorations for meth. Crystal was a really bad child. Girl you know it’s true is a timeless classic. Apologize in your partner’s love language!
Being a woman is really risky. Movies from the 90s can be pretty great. Pata Fria is sensitive to criticism and mean parents get softer with age.

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Welcome to the dysfunction, Crystal’s brain has fun commercials on loop.
Please don’t put Pata Fria on the spot about a tip. Christmas was different for everyone this year, but let’s keep it cozy as long as possible.
RIP to our HD family member Rahni 🖤
Try to stay loose if you’re in an accident and ask Crystal to show you her new sweats! 

For bonus episodes join our Patreon!! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction

Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction
Instagram.com/lurkpatafria
Instagram.com/crystaldamato21

Email us your questions/stories at: [email protected]