Hello Dysfunction

Pata Fria is really sick. Crystal has identified the local pervert. Spread kindness whenever you can and school is really a scam. Power really changes people and Crystal’s hypothetical questions are ENDLESS!

Check out this week’s sponsors!

• BetterHelp

 Professional online therapy from the comfort of your own home. Right now BetterHelp is offering a discount to our listeners! For 10% off your first month head over to betterhelp.com and use discount code HELLO, that’s betterhelp.com/HELLO

• DIPSEA

Dipsea is an audio app full of short, sexy stories designed to turn you on!  
The characters feel like real people with real life scenarios and new content is added weekly. 
If you need to wind down there are also wellness sessions, sensual bedtime stories and soundscapes to help you relax before you drift off. 
Right now Dipsea is offering an extended 30 day trial of full access for our listeners! 

Start now at dipseastories.com/dysfunction
That’s D I P S E A stories .com/dysfunction 

For bonus episodes join our Patreon!! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction 

Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction 
Instagram.com/lurkpatafria
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Email us your questions/stories at: [email protected] 

Pata Fria is sick. It’s a painful sick. 
Don’t ask people if they just woke up. 
Keep an eye out for the local serial masturbator.
If your burps stink please stay home. 
Sick dreams have been so fun and Suga Free is cancelled. 

Check out this week’s sponsor! 

• DIPSEA
Dipsea is an audio app full of short, sexy stories designed to turn you on!  
The characters feel like real people with real life scenarios and new content is added weekly. 
If you need to wind down there are also wellness sessions, sensual bedtime stories and soundscapes to help you relax before you drift off. 
Right now Dipsea is offering an extended 30 day trial of full access for our listeners! 

Start now at dipseastories.com/dysfunction
That’s D I P S E A stories .com/dysfunction 

Join our Patreon!! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction 

Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction 
Instagram.com/lurkpatafria2
Instagram.com/crystaldamato21

Email us your questions/stories at: [email protected] 

We’re back after a week of chaos! 
Please provide others with the type of service you’d like to receive. Pata Fria finally got her tree up. Vaginal issues feel like bad karma and cartel videos are great. 
Crystal had a visitor, Peez is cussing, grave robbing isn’t always bad and don’t accept bad treatment from anyone, not even family.

Check out this week’s sponsor!

• DIPSEA
Dipsea is an audio app full of short, sexy stories designed to turn you on!  
The characters feel like real people with real life scenarios and new content is added weekly. 
If you need to wind down there are also wellness sessions, sensual bedtime stories and soundscapes to help you relax before you drift off. 
Right now Dipsea is offering an extended 30 day trial of full access for our listeners! 

Start now at dipseastories.com/dysfunction
That’s D I P S E A stories .com/dysfunction 

Join our Patreon!! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction 

Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction 
Instagram.com/lurkpatafria2
Instagram.com/crystaldamato21

Email us your questions/stories at: [email protected] 

We’re back and better than ever! 
We love men who cry, break ups are embarrassing, we love meeting listeners and don’t lie about sleeping with people. 

Check out this week’s sponsors! 

• BetterHelp

Professional therapy from the comfort of your own home.
Right now BetterHelp is offering a discount to our listeners. For 10% off your first month head over to betterhelp.com and use discount code HELLO, that’s betterhelp.com/HELLO

• Gladskin

Gladskin is a product that works with your skin’s natural bacteria to soothe and resolve eczema, rosacea, acne and other skin irritations. Steroid-free and non-toxic, safe enough to also use on baby. 
Right now our listeners get 15% off plus free shipping (we love that) at gladskin.com with discount code HELLODYSFUNCTION. That’s Gladskin.com/hellodysfunction  

Join our Patreon!! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction 

Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction 
Instagram.com/lurkpatafria2 
Instagram.com/crystaldamato21

Email us your questions/stories at: [email protected] 

Starting out with a little ASMR. They aren’t called “windmeals”. You gotta be a little well off to really enjoy Disney. Childhood makes you the person you’ll be. Nightmares have been really rude lately and unnecessary details are Crystal’s favorite. 

Check out this week’s sponsor! 

• Gladskin
Gladskin is a product that works with your skin’s natural bacteria to soothe and resolve eczema, rosacea, acne and other skin irritations. Steroid-free and non-toxic, safe enough to also use on baby. 
Right now our listeners get 15% off plus free shipping (we love that) at gladskin.com with discount code HELLODYSFUNCTION. That’s Gladskin.com/hellodysfunction  

Join our Patreon!! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction 

Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction 
Instagram.com/lurkpatafria2 
Instagram.com/crystaldamato21

Email us your questions/stories at: [email protected] 

Welcome to episode 191 
Peez swings on everyone, genetics are crazy and we’re slowly becoming our moms. Don’t send illegal things thru the mail, Crystal has very sexual recipes and it’s so cute when you let kids dress themselves. 

Check out this week’s sponsor! 

• DIPSEA
Dipsea is an audio app full of short, sexy stories designed to turn you on!  
The characters feel like real people with real life scenarios and new content is added weekly. 
If you need to wind down there are also wellness sessions, sensual bedtime stories and soundscapes to help you relax before you drift off. 
Right now Dipsea is offering an extended 30 day trial of full access for our listeners! 

Start now at dipseastories.com/dysfunction
That’s D I P S E A stories .com/dysfunction 

Join our Patreon!! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction 

Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction 
Instagram.com/lurkpatafria2
Instagram.com/crystaldamato21

Email us your questions/stories at: [email protected] 

Peez introduced this episode, Crystal serenaded our intro, Toto is timeless and Pata Fria might be drunk.
There’s a new Damato in the gang, 80’s Cabbage Patch Kids are the current obsession and we got some things to celebrate!!!!
War times are getting intense, don’t make a joke of adrenochrome, iron lungs are crazy and Grandmacore is not what it sounds like. 

Check out this week’s sponsors!

• Gladskin
Gladskin is a product that works with your skin’s natural bacteria to soothe and resolve eczema, rosacea, acne and other skin irritations. Steroid-free and non-toxic, safe enough to also use on baby. 
Right now our listeners get 15% off plus free shipping (we love that) at gladskin.com with discount code HELLODYSFUNCTION. That’s Gladskin.com/hellodysfunction  

• THE Commercial Break! 
Two long time best friends Bryan and Krissy get together each Monday Wednesday and Friday to discuss life, love and the pursuit of absurdity. 
Sinister ministers, ridiculous MLM companies, alien light language, TV dating shows, monster hunters, terrible psychic readings and more! 
The Commercial Break hosts use their unlikely friendship and personal life stories as a backdrop to discuss some the insane topics and trends from around the globe. 
THE Commercial Break is available wherever you find your favorite podcasts or you can visit TCBpodcast.com .Thats TCBpodcast.com or go to YouTube.com / THEcommercialbreak 

Join our Patreon!! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction 

Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction 
Instagram.com/lurkpatafria2 
Instagram.com/crystaldamato21

Email us your questions/stories at: [email protected] 

Welcome. This is not a scam. 
Knees are getting injured left and right, Peez had a meltdown in front of the paramedics and Mexican pizzas have been subpar. 

Check out this week’s sponsors! 

• BetterHelp

Professional therapy from the comfort of your own home.
Right now BetterHelp is offering a discount to our listeners. For 10% off your first month head over to betterhelp.com and use discount code HELLO, that’s betterhelp.com/HELLO

• BEST FRIEND ENERGY

Looking for your next podcast obsession? You'll be sure to find it on the new weekly chat series: BEST FRIEND ENERGY with hosts Clea Shearer and Joanna Teplin of The Home Edit. On BEST FRIEND ENERGY you get to know Clea and Joanna even better than before--you become a part of their inner circle!
Their friendship and business began with a single text and now has them organizing celebrity homes, traveling the world and laughing every step of the way.

From Sony Music Entertainment, Hello Sunshine, The Home Edit and Somethin' Else, listen and follow Best Friend Energy wherever you get your podcasts.

Join our Patreon!! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction 

Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction 
Instagram.com/lurkpatafria2 
Instagram.com/crystaldamato21

Send us your questions/stories at: hellodysfunction.com or submit to [email protected] 

It’s our anniversary. 
Familial masturbation is awkward. 
Pata Fria’s ghost is jealous again. 
The wedding was beautiful and Crystal beat a ticket! 
Be grateful for everything, even the hard lessons. Carolyn needs a phony inspection. Dreams are getting crazy and we have serial killers. 

Check out this week’s sponsor! 

• DIPSEA
Dipsea is an audio app full of short, sexy stories designed to turn you on!  
The characters feel like real people with real life scenarios and new content is added weekly. 
If you need to wind down there are also wellness sessions, sensual bedtime stories and soundscapes to help you relax before you drift off. 
Right now Dipsea is offering an extended 30 day trial of full access for our listeners! 

Start now at dipseastories.com/dysfunction
That’s D I P S E A stories .com/dysfunction 

Join our Patreon!! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction 

Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction 
Instagram.com/lurkpatafria2 
Instagram.com/crystaldamato21

Email us your questions/stories at: [email protected]