Hello Dysfunction

Welcome. 
Pata Fria draws nice stars. Crystal’s “what ifs” are non stop. Don’t fall for IG scams. Don’t forget your kids places, honest people still do exist. 

Check out this week’s sponsor! 

• BetterHelpRight now BetterHelp is offering a discount to our listeners. For 10% off your first month head over to betterhelp.com and use discount code HELLO, that’s betterhelp.com/HELLO

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Email us your questions/stories at: [email protected] 

Wanna smooth things out? Make a dance routine.
Women are really in constant physical pain.
Water isn’t a good time and cannibalism should be legal. Personality tests be on point and don’t let social media make you feel like you aren’t doing enough. 

Check out this week’s sponsors! 

• BetterHelpRight now BetterHelp is offering a discount to our listeners. For 10% off your first month head over to betterhelp.com and use discount code HELLO, that’s betterhelp.com/HELLO

• DIPSEA
Dipsea is an audio app full of short, sexy stories designed to turn you on!  
The characters feel like real people with real life scenarios and new content is added weekly. 
If you need to wind down there are also wellness sessions, sensual bedtime stories and soundscapes to help you relax before you drift off. 
Right now Dipsea is offering an extended 30 day trial of full access for our listeners! 

Start now at dipseastories.com/dysfunction
That’s D I P S E A stories .com/dysfunction 

Join our Patreon!! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction 

Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction 
Instagram.com/lurkpatafria 
Instagram.com/crystaldamato21

Email us your questions/stories at: [email protected] 

Eat cinnamon mentos for dinner.
Our kids been stressing us to death and we hate Pepsi. Our recording decor is really classy and Netflix is being greedy. Tips on how to get more fellatio and plan your after death signs now. 

Check out this week’s sponsor! 

• BetterHelpRight now BetterHelp is offering a discount to our listeners. For 10% off your first month head over to betterhelp.com and use discount code HELLO, that’s betterhelp.com/HELLO

Join our Patreon!! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction 

Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction 
Instagram.com/lurkpatafria 
Instagram.com/crystaldamato21

Email us your questions/stories at: [email protected] 

RIP to our dear listener Lauren. 
Do your laundry. 
Carolyn needs to make some money. 
Divorce is ok!!
Swear on your own life. 
It pays to be a good person and tiny mustaches should be a thing. 

For additional weekly episodes join our Patreon!! 
Patreon.com/hellodysfunction 

Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction 
Instagram.com/lurkpatafria 
Instagram.com/crystaldamato21

Email us your questions/stories at: [email protected] 

Two mentally ill moms…
Is Pata Fria retired? 
Crystal is still talking to strangers. 
New hair, who dis? 
Crystal needs to delete games off her phone. 
Hand me downs are great.

Check out this week’s sponsors! 

• BetterHelpRight now BetterHelp is offering a discount to our listeners. For 10% off your first month head over to betterhelp.com and use discount code HELLO, that’s betterhelp.com/HELLO

• DIPSEA
Dipsea is an audio app full of short, sexy stories designed to turn you on!  
The characters feel like real people with real life scenarios and new content is added weekly. 
If you need to wind down there are also wellness sessions, sensual bedtime stories and soundscapes to help you relax before you drift off. 
Right now Dipsea is offering an extended 30 day trial of full access for our listeners! 

Start now at dipseastories.com/dysfunction
That’s D I P S E A stories .com/dysfunction 

Join our Patreon!! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction 

Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction 
Instagram.com/lurkpatafria 
Instagram.com/crystaldamato21

Email us your questions/stories at: [email protected] 

Pata Fria’s voice is returning. 
We’re still wearing masks. 
Depression is a stupid bitch. 
Don’t judge a book by it’s cover and beware of mountain lions in your backyard. 

Check out this week’s sponsor! 

• BetterHelpRight now BetterHelp is offering a discount to our listeners. For 10% off your first month head over to betterhelp.com and use discount code HELLO, that’s betterhelp.com/HELLO

Join our Patreon!! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction 

Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction 

Email us your questions/stories at: [email protected] 

Excedrine is that girl. 
Don’t take our medical advice. 
iPhone “Share My Location” is not always accurate. 
Crystal gives great history lessons. 
Pray for Ukraine.
We’ve been taught very contradictory rules. 
Always be open to learning and please leave us a review xo

Check out this week’s sponsor! 

• BetterHelpRight now BetterHelp is offering a discount to our listeners. For 10% off your first month head over to betterhelp.com and use discount code HELLO, that’s betterhelp.com/HELLO

Join our Patreon!! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction 

Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction 

Email us your questions/stories at: [email protected] 

Trauma makes you funny.
Where is Pata Fria’s period. We’re kids with kids and the Olympics are racist. 
We got really sweet valentines, Crystal got embarrassing singing from her mom. 

Check out this week’s sponsor! 

• DIPSEA
Dipsea is an audio app full of short, sexy stories designed to turn you on!  
The characters feel like real people with real life scenarios and new content is added weekly. 
If you need to wind down there are also wellness sessions, sensual bedtime stories and soundscapes to help you relax before you drift off. 
Right now Dipsea is offering an extended 30 day trial of full access for our listeners! 

Start now at dipseastories.com/dysfunction
That’s D I P S E A stories .com/dysfunction 

Join our Patreon!! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction 

Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction 

Email us your questions/stories at: [email protected] 

Crystal brought us in with a very 90s serenade.
Love Day is upon us. 
Pata Fria got new lashes. 
Don’t break anyone’s heart. 
Chode vs mushroom

Check out this week’s sponsor! 

• BetterHelpRight now BetterHelp is offering a discount to our listeners. For 10% off your first month head over to betterhelp.com and use discount code HELLO, that’s betterhelp.com/HELLO

Join our Patreon!! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction 

Follow us on IG:
Instagram.com/hellodysfunction 
Instagram.com/lurkpatafria
Instagram.com/crystaldamato21

Email us your questions/stories at: [email protected] 

Crystal is singing again. We’re tired of paying bills. The groundhog saw his shadow. We’re not  role models. Decriminalize drug use. Kill your local rapist. 

Check out this week’s sponsor! 

• BetterHelpRight now BetterHelp is offering a discount to our listeners. For 10% off your first month head over to betterhelp.com and use discount code HELLO, that’s betterhelp.com/HELLO

Join our Patreon!! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction 

Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction 

Email us your questions/stories at: [email protected]