Here's the Tower

Today, in a one-hour special, we’ll hear all 13 episodes from the fourth season of Here’s the Tower. These episodes debuted weekly from September 2020 to January 2021.

Every second Wednesday this summer, we’ll hear a complete season in its entirety. In five special shows, we’ll take a whirlwind trip through 104 episodes totaling 3 1/2 hours of action-packed entertainment.

You can find credits for the music, guest voices and more info about the individual episodes at kcomposite.com/tower, where you can also see the complete schedule of summer specials.

These are the episodes from Season Three that we’ll hear today:

Fantasy Cabinet 

What Will Life Be Like In the Future? 

Twenty Years Since Everybody Was On Earth 

Views On the News: How to Talk to Your Pets About Coronavirus 

Your Hands Are Everything 

November Leap 

Thank You For Flying With Us Today 

Shhh! Li’l Tower Is Sleeping 

Views On the News: Adobe 

The Academy of Dirty Country Music Awards 

Davidson’s Sausages 

America’s Top 10 Beeps 

Views On the News: Where Is Tom Selleck? 

Associate producer: Betsy McClimans 

➸ Here’s the Tower is possible only with your support.

Get extra content and personalized rewards, while helping me make better episodes with more actors and musicians. Sign up at patreon.com/tower.

Today, in a 51-minute special, we’ll hear all 13 episodes from the third season of Here’s the Tower. These episodes debuted weekly from May to August 2020. This was the season when a few episodes broke through the one-minute mark and made way for the special audio play Smart Home Merle Haggard, Part One.

Every second Wednesday this summer, we’ll hear a complete season in its entirety. In five special shows, we’ll take a whirlwind trip through 104 episodes totaling 3 1/2 hours of action-packed entertainment.

You can find credits for the music, guest voices and more info about the individual episodes at kcomposite.com/tower, where you can also see the complete schedule of summer specials.

These are the episodes from Season Three that we’ll hear today:

Everything You Touched

Appalachian Getaway

The Dirty Statler Brothers

Donny Edge

I Don’t Even Know If I Should Be Opening the Door

Coin Commemorative Coin

Play Some Mendelssohn

The New Walkman

More Useful Swedish Phrases

That’s So Tower!

The Heist, Part Two

Smart Home Merle Haggard, Part One

Come Along Everybody

Associate producer: Betsy McClimans 

➸ Here’s the Tower is possible only with your support.

Get extra content and personalized rewards, while helping me make better episodes with more actors and musicians. Sign up at patreon.com/tower.

Today, we’ll hear all 13 one-minute episodes from the second season of Here’s the Tower. These episodes debuted weekly from September to November 2019.

Every second Wednesday this summer, we’ll hear a complete season in its entirety. In five special shows, we’ll take a whirlwind trip through 104 episodes totaling 3 1/2 hours of action-packed entertainment.

You can find credits for the music, guest voices and more info about the individual episodes at kcomposite.com/tower, where you can also see the complete schedule of summer specials.

These are the episodes from Season Two that we’ll hear today:

Marty Klein

Hey Tower

.– .- .. – ..-. — .-. .. – 

Of Corpse

Go Ahead, Caller

You Know Who Loves Oktoberfest?

The Roast of JD Salinger

Useful Swedish Phrases

Autumn

Chekhov Foxworthy: You Might Be a Russian Spammer

Fleeting Like the Wind: Haiku Episode

The Statler Brothers Revealed

My Battle With IPS

Associate producer: Betsy McClimans

➸ Here’s the Tower is possible only with your support.

Get extra content and personalized rewards, while helping me make better episodes with more actors and musicians. Sign up at patreon.com/tower.

Today we’ll hear all 52 one-minute episodes from the first season of Here’s the Tower. These episodes debuted weekly from May 2018 to May 2019.

Every other Wednesday this summer, we’ll hear a complete season in its entirety. In five special shows, we’ll take a whirlwind trip through 104 episodes totaling 3 1/2 hours of action-packed entertainment.

You can find credits for the music, guest voices and more info about the individual episodes at kcomposite.com/tower, where you can also see the complete schedule of summer specials.

(Today’s collection doesn’t include episode 41, The Metroschifter’s Favorite Albums, which was itself a special extended episode.)

Associate producer: Betsy McClimans

➸ Here’s the Tower is possible only with your support.

Get extra content and personalized rewards, while helping me make better episodes with more actors and musicians. Sign up at patreon.com/tower.

Here’s the Tower investigates a coordinated effort by food packagers to make the lids on jars increasingly tighter.

This worldwide strategy has resulted in trapping delicious salsa forever inside unopenable jars, as well as a growing stockpile known as the Fort Knox of Pickles.

That’s what it’s coming down to, folks. That’s what it’s coming down to.

Associate producer: Betsy McClimans 

Music used with permission:
“Minimal Meaning” by Marten Moses

The weather is getting warmer and if you’re like a lot of folks, you’re thinking about buying a new bike. 

Thankfully, your bro Todd is here to answer all your questions on his Legitimate Bicycles Review Channel. 

Associate producer: Betsy McClimans 

Music used with permission: 
“Dainty Day” by View Points 
“Buckle Up and Break Free” by Harper Rey
“Next to You” by Elijah N 
“Don’t I” by Swif7 
“Beach Memories” by Sum Wave 
“Team Effort” by Earle Belo 
“Can You Catch Me” by LEL 

Just my luck, I found the real text after I already recorded my dramatic reading… 

Four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth upon this continent, a new nation, conceived in Liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal.

Now we are engaged in a great civil war, testing whether that nation, or any nation so conceived and so dedicated, can long endure. We are met on a great battlefield of that war. We have come to dedicate a portion of that field, as a final resting place for those who here gave their lives that that nation might live. It is altogether fitting and proper that we should do this.

But in a larger sense, we can not dedicate, we can not consecrate, we can not hallow this ground. The brave men, living and dead, who struggled here, have consecrated it, far above our poor power to add or detract.

The world will little note, nor long remember what we say here, but it can never forget what they did here. It is for us the living, rather, to be dedicated here to the unfinished work which they who fought here have thus far so nobly advanced. It is rather for us to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us — that from these honored dead we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of devotion — that we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain—that this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom — and that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth.

Associate producer: Betsy McClimans 
Original text: Abraham Lincoln 

Music used with permission: 
“An Ode to All Mothers” by Howard Harper-Barnes 
“I Will Return” and “A Life of Devotion” by David Celeste

I had a dream last night about how it was tropical and breezy on the island. Dammit! If I could only focus and put it into words.

Associate producer: Betsy McClimans

It is a snowy winter night at the Tower’s mountaintop manor as Lord Chutney responds to a desperate rasp upon the door.

A weary guest is brought in from the cold for a private audience with the Tower. But on the way down the twisting hallway and through the library, the visitor is advised to be careful. The Tower is a most curious fellow who exhibits all manner of eccentricity.

Associate producer: Betsy McClimans

Music: “Only With the Utmost Trepidation” by Scott Ritcher