TODAY'S QUESTION

Dear Grawlix,
I'm hoping you can give me some advice.  My wife and I are in our early to mid 40s, and over the last 1 to 2 years,  my wife's libido has gone through the roof.  Recently, she wants to get spanked, engage in dirty talk and wants me to objectify her.  While it isn't really my thing, I am not opposed to trying these things for her.  However, I am a bit out of my element when it comes to dirty talk and also find it hilarious.  I have trouble thinking of things to say, and when I do, I often start laughing.  On one occasion, I came up with an alter ego, Dr. Spanker, but had trouble keeping it together and started laughing. Another concern of mine is that we live in a small house and my almost teenage daughter's room is right across the hall from our bedroom.  I am paranoid that she will hear the sound of spanking coming from our bedroom or hear me say something that would sound horrible in any other context.  Do you have any advice on how to talk dirty, not laugh, and avoid being overheard across the hall?
Sincerely,
Dr. Spanker

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