Highly Sensitive, Happily Married

136   Today I bring you some scientific researched- backed HOPE for you and your marriage. If you are an HSP, this is essential knowledge about yourself and what’s possible for you. 

Did you know that being an HSP makes it more likely for you to arrive at the happiness you want in your marriage, when you put certain conditions in place? 

Because you have a special advantage as an HSP in this area. It’s true! In this episode, I will tell you all about it and some of the science that proves it.

There is something special about us HSPs: our sensitivity, which can make it either easier (it can BOOST you) or harder to be WELL (it can PLUMMET you) in this life, depending on some things. 

Learn what those things are–and how to BEST take advantage of this special aspect of your sensitivity in this episode.  

When you know this, you will be best positioned ( and I mean better positioned than most ALL other humans) to make your marriage  come alive with the mutual love, support and connection you want, and to feel deeply WELL as a human being.  Listen in.

ENJOYING THE SHOW?

• Get the HSHM Podcast Map, so you can quickly identify the episodes most helpful for your unique relationship, by supporting the podcast (for as little as $3) HERE. 
• Don’t miss an episode! Subscribe via Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Stitcher.
• Leave  a review in Apple Podcasts--we are SO grateful!

SHOW NOTES
Click to learn about and enroll in TREASURED.
Sign up by November 4th to get a full Bonus course: the Foundations of Emotional Well-Being for HSPs. Ready to join? Click here to get started. 

135  Last chance to sign up for the free workshop below!  Even if you aren’t feeling happy now in your relationship, and all the joy and love of those early days of the relationship feels faded, there is hope for your marriage yet! In fact, you can have something even better:

An even more genuine, more sustainable, deeper love and connection than ever with your spouse, where you know how to work with each other as a team to navigate the ups and downs of life, while feeling the ease, love and joy you have together continue to increase over time. This is what I call Re-enchantment.

In this updated and re-released episode, I spill the beans on how to take your marriage there. Listen in to learn:

• What it will be like when you get there, 
• What it takes: the 3 simple things you must get good at to guide your own marriage there
• What someone who is on the way there–or who is already there– is DOING on the regular (this is also a list of what’s required!)
• A specific real life example to illustrate these things from a client 
• The next steps to learning these things
• And why you, as an HSP, are best suited to shift your marriage into Re-enchantment.  
  
  

It’s so important to have an idea of what it looks like in real life to make your marriage into the loving, lighthearted, connected one you want. This episode provides that, and gives you the next tangible steps to take to make this come alive in your own relationship as a highly sensitive woman.

ENJOYING THE SHOW?

• Get the HSHM Podcast Map, so you can quickly identify the episodes most helpful for your unique relationship, by supporting the podcast (for as little as $3) HERE. 
• Don’t miss an episode! Subscribe via Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Stitcher.
• Leave  a review in Apple Podcasts--we are SO grateful!

SHOW NOTES:

Click to sign up for Sunday’s Free Workshop: 3 Invisible Steps To Deeper Love Than Ever Between You And Your Significant Other 

Click to learn about and enroll in Treasured. 

134  Don't miss the free workshop I announce inside (link below)!  If there were 1 research-backed thing that takes only 20 seconds that you could do to generate those warm hearted deep connected feelings between you and a significant other, grow the security and ease in your marriage, AND bring your nervous system into regulation ( i.e. make you feel grounded and peaceful) in the midst of a normally stressful day…would you do it? I bet you would…if you knew what it was.

In this episode, I will tell you.  Dive in to hear all about the 20 second hug. You’ll hear what it will do for you and your relationship, and how to do it (yes, there are some specifics to make it work best!).

You'll also learn what can get in the way of getting the most out of this little but powerful love hack, and what the core or “pre-work” is to make it truly work its magic in your marriage and on your sensitive mind-body-heart system.

ENJOYING THE SHOW?

• Get the HSHM Podcast Map, so you can quickly identify the episodes most helpful for your unique relationship, by supporting the podcast (for as little as $3) HERE. 
• Don’t miss an episode! Subscribe via Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Stitcher.
• Leave  a review in Apple Podcasts--we are SO grateful!

SHOW NOTES:
FREE WORKSHOP: The 3 Invisible Steps To Deeper Love Than Ever Your Marriage 
Curious About TREASURED, Hannah’s marriage coaching program for HSPs? Learn all about it HERE.

133  Being a highly sensitive person obviously means we are more sensitive than others. This has real ramifications in our love lives— both wonderful and challenging.

Luckily, we can support our sensitive selves in ways that amplify the best parts of our sensitivity, and make the challenges of it so much easier. 

This will involve caretaking your sensitive Mind Body Heart System. . . and, like it or not,  MORE deeply and consistently than non-HSPs.

In other words, even if you don't like it, in order to have an intimate relationship (and life) that feels deeply satisfying, nourishing, and fulfilling, you as an HSP need to attend more to your emotional well-being  and nervous system regulation than a non-HSP.

As I’ve accepted this, and learned how to caretake my sensitive nervous system (and sensitive mind, body, heart, and emotions), I’ve fallen in love with doing it AND what it has led to in my relationship. 

This can be true for you, too. Dive into this episode to:

• Learn why love and marriage can be so hard as HSP without truly caretaking your sensitive system in the right ways
• Learn why accepting our higher need for emotional caretaking can be difficult, and why it's more than worth it to do so
• Be inspired by my own story about how doing so changed EVERYTHING for the better forever in my love life 

Learn the 2 simple but essential foundational steps to get started with right away that will make the same thing possible for you and your marriage.
 
Without this emotional tending, the kind of relationship you most want–full of love, lightheartedness, attraction, effective and connecting communication, and mutual supportiveness–is likely to remain elusive.

But with it? You set the stage for what can feel like magic to  happen in your relationship. Dive in to begin.

ENJOYING THE SHOW?

• Get the HSHM Podcast Map, so you can quickly identify the episodes most helpful for your unique relationship, by supporting the podcast (for as little as $3) HERE. 
• Don’t miss an episode! Subscribe via Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Stitcher.
• Leave  a review in Apple Podcasts--we are SO grateful!

SHOW NOTES:
 
Learn more about Treasured (Hannah's marriage coaching program for sensitive women) here. When you enroll you'll also get the free BONUS program Foundations of Emotional Wellbeing for HSPS!

132   When your significant other has done something that anger or hurts you, you may want to share a complaint-–or what I call a grievance– with them, especially if it is eating away at your or you feeling it is coming between you as a couple.

Sharing a grievance with your partner can be an important part of building a relationship that is full of loving sensitivity, collaboration, and care for each other.

But only if you aren't making the mistakes the most of us make when we do it!

And only if done skillfully.

In this episode, you will learn:

• The 4 common mistakes we tend to make as women when we go to air our grievances.
• Why when you make them you won’t get the change or support you want
• What you need to do instead to create the conditions to most effectively share in the future
• The 2 prime ingredients you must embrace to enter into the conversation when the time comes
• And the 9 steps to actually voicing the grievance in a way that your partner can hear– and is most likely to inspire him to want to do things differently in the future, and pour some living support on you right then and there…
  
  

…All illustrated with a real personal example of sharing a grievance with my own husband so you can get a sense of the process in action.

This episode comes with a warning! So listen in, but make sure you listen all the way through so you don’t go use this powerful process prematurely (which will backfire)…

…and so you can instead understand what it truly takes to share about painful things that you have big feelings about in a way that is truly effective in making your relationship better, more loving, and more attuned and connected over time. Dive in.

ENJOYING THE SHOW?

• Get the HSHM Podcast Map, so you can quickly identify the episodes most helpful for your unique relationship, by supporting the podcast (for as little as $3) HERE. 
• Don’t miss an episode! Subscribe via Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Stitcher.
• Leave  a review in Apple Podcasts--we are SO grateful!

SHOW NOTES:
 Learn more about Treasured (Hannah's marriage coaching program for sensitive women) here.

For the fall '23 round,  join the Treasured  waitlist HERE by October 15th to get the perks of early enrollment. 

131  Today we are revisiting the topic of anger in our relationships, because it is so often a destructive force that leads to an unraveling of connection. But it doesn't have to be.

If you often (or just sometimes) feel frustrated, resentful, aggravated or resentful towards your significant other, get this episode in your ears.

Because your anger may be valid, especially if you don't feel fully met in your marriage. But it is very likely misdirected.

The big question to ask is, is the way you are directing that anger getting you more of what you want in the long run? Or less of what you want?

In this episode we look at how most often the way we use our anger leads to less of what we want, and more pain and disconnection. But you can change that.

It starts with looking at the misunderstandings that lead to anger being misdirected, and then understanding how you can redirect that anger into a force of truly positive change in your marriage.

Listen in and get on the right track to real long term happiness in your marriage.

ENJOYING THE SHOW?

• Get the HSHM Podcast Map, so you can quickly identify the episodes most helpful for your unique relationship, by supporting the podcast (for as little as $3) HERE. 
• Don’t miss an episode! Subscribe via Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Stitcher.
• Leave  a review in Apple Podcasts--we are SO grateful!

SHOW NOTES:
Learn more and join the waitlist for Treasured, Hannah's marriage coaching program for sensitive women, HERE.

130  The quality of our relationships are deeply impacted by various aspects of our Mind-Body-Heart Systems' well-being. Especially our emotional well-being, which is deeply affected by our physical health (specifically our nutritional, hormonal, and nervous system health).  In this episode, we will talk about all this with a special guest, Nutritionist Lise Masé. 

Listen in to our conversation (involving chocolate, magic and mystery, and the word “hangry”) to learn: 

• Why nutrition matters when it comes to emotional and relationship well-being, and why you would even want to learn how to support your sensitive system nutritionally. 
• How food, and food choices and habits impact our nervous systems regulation, hormones, thoughts, moods, and emotions, and ultimately our ability to be in connection with our significant other. 
• Why sensitive people are prone to digestive issues.
• Which foods help and which hurt…(such as foods that cause anxiety, and those that counter it)
• How nutritionally supporting yourself isn’t just about the foods you eat, but the way you eat them!
• Why pleasure helps you shift your eating habits to more optimal ones for your unique system – and how to have more of it in your meals!
• How guiding your mind is an important piece of the puzzle when it comes to optimal nutrition.
• Specific small practices, and strategies that you can explore that will support the most aligned eating for your specific system …

…All of which will help have a less reactive Mind-Body-Heart system and help you attain optimal well-being in your nervous system, which will translate into more vitality, more ease, more connection and an overall better marriage. Listen in.

ENJOYING THE SHOW?

• Get the HSHM Podcast Map, so you can quickly identify the episodes most helpful for your unique relationship, by supporting the podcast (for as little as $3) HERE. 
• Don’t miss an episode! Subscribe via Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Stitcher.
• Leave  a review in Apple Podcasts--we are SO grateful!

SHOW NOTES
Learn more and join the waitlist for Treasured, Hannah's marriage coaching program for sensitive women, HERE. 

Find Lisa at her website,  www.harmonized-living.com 

Get More Free Support, Courses and Coaching for your Relationship HERE.

129  We almost all get triggered (upset, reactive, bothered, suddenly overcome with emotion) at times in our intimate relationship, especially as highly sensitive people. Although so common, it’s also a big contributing factor in marital unhappiness.

To put an end to the yucky feelings and damaging effects that being triggered can have on your marriage, you’ve got to learn what’s going on when you get triggered, why it happens (it might not be what you think it is), who’s causing you to be triggered, and how to calm and even outgrow your triggers.

Listen in for all of that, and to hear about the 3 things that cause certain words, tones of voice, expressions on your partner's face, things they do, or events to be triggering trigger to you, and what it will take to ease or eliminate those triggers altogether (and what won't work!). 

With personal and client stories woven throughout, this episode gets you started on the path of working through what upsets you and your sensitive system compassionately, so you can put an end to being triggered and have the light, connected, supportive relationship you were born for as a sensitive woman.

ENJOYING THE SHOW?

• Get the HSHM Podcast Map, so you can quickly identify the episodes most helpful for your unique relationship, by supporting the podcast (for as little as $3) HERE. 
• Don’t miss an episode! Subscribe via Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Stitcher.
• Leave  a review in Apple Podcasts--we are SO grateful!

SHOW NOTES:
Get The Stop Taking It So Personally Course HERE.

Learn more and join the waitlist for Treasured, Hannah's marriage coaching program for sensitive women, HERE.

Get More Free Support, Courses and Coaching for your Relationship HERE.

128  If you ever feel criticized or hurt by something that happens between you and your partner, this is a must listen episode. (See the details on the NEW course below, too).

Inevitably in your long term relationship there will be times you hear what feel like judgements of your actions or character, or criticisms, or complaints from your partner.

When you feel hurt by these, not only is it painful, but it can take a real toll on your relationship. (Disconnection, resentment, fights, emotional distance are all likely).

But it doesn't have to. When you learn to discern between criticism and feedback– and use your partner’s untactful or less-than-kind words or actions as feedback, you will not just feel so much better, you will have a relationship that gets better by the day.

In this episode, we look at how what can feel like a criticism is often actually meant to be feedback and how you can tell the difference.

We also dive into what you can do, even when it was meant as a criticism, to use it as feedback, so as not to let it hurt you or build resentment, and prevent the downward cycle that comes from there in relationships.

Because highly sensitive women can have a tendency to take things as criticism and feel hurt easily, this is an episode you don't want to miss if you want to grow and evolve both as a human and as a couple. Listen in. 

ENJOYING THE SHOW?

• Get the HSHM Podcast Map, so you can quickly identify the episodes most helpful for your unique relationship, by supporting the podcast (for as little as $3) HERE. 
• Don’t miss an episode! Subscribe via Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Stitcher.
• Leave  a review in Apple Podcasts--we are SO grateful!

SHOW NOTES:
Get The Stop Taking It So Personally Course HERE.
Get the $10 off coupon by hopping on Hannah’s email list here. ($20 option is over)

Get More Free Support, Courses and Coaching HERE.

127  This is a hearty episode that will help you put an end to upset, frustration, resentment, old hurts–and so many arguments and conflicts that you have in your relationship— if you dig in and follow the steps I lay out.

If you find yourself feeling mad, resentful, frustrated, irritated or disappointed often in your marriage, a large part of it is likely due to your “Relationship Rulebook”.

When it comes to our relationships, We all have subconscious or semi-conscious ideas about how it should be, how a good partner is supposed to behave, how they should be, what they are supposed to be doing…and how we ourselves should be as a wife or partner.

These are your relationship rules,   I give many examples of what these look like in this episode.

Since most significant others will not always want to or be able to follow your rules, as long as you continue to subscribe to these rules, you will keep feeling all that frustration, disappointment, resentment, and anger. And you won't ever be able to enjoy your marriage, or love your partner as deeply as you will when you let them go.

Luckily, when you discover, examine, question, and release your rules’ grip on you, you will also release the unhappiness and make way for so much more connection, love and joy in your marriage.

In fact, the work I did done early in my second marriage dismantling my Relationship Rulebook was a large part of the reason that it was so much happier than my first one was.

Listen in now (with pen and paper ready for note taking!) and implement what I share here, and your marriage will start feeling more lighthearted, easy, and loving right away.

ENJOYING THE SHOW?

• Get the HSHM Podcast Map, so you can quickly identify the episodes most helpful for your unique relationship, by supporting the podcast (for as little as $3) HERE. 
• Don’t miss an episode! Subscribe via Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Stitcher.
• Leave  a review in Apple Podcasts--we are SO grateful!

SHOW NOTES:
Join the Treasured Waitlist here.
Learn more about Treasured, Hannah's marriage coaching program for HSP's  here.

Get More Free Support, Courses and Coaching for your Relationship HERE.