Highly Sensitive, Happily Married

So many highly sensitive women fall into a habit of Overcare (see episode 93 to learn all about it), and it leads to a lot of annoyance, resentment and negativity in their relationships. Some months ago, my client Luanne was no different. 

Until she came to work with me. Then she shifted it all, and is now truly enjoying her now husband and her life so much more–and feeling more peaceful than ever…despite life being, well, life.

Listen in as she tells her story and we talk about:

• How trying to “make” others happy can make us so unhappy as sensitive people.
• How she harnessed the power of her thinking to break out of the life-sucking pattern of overcare and stays peaceful (or gets back there easily–even during difficult life events)
• How she makes everyday one she truly enjoys with her man (instead of one that felt negative and hard).
• How she changed her thought patterns to have so much more lightness and enjoyment in all her family relationships!!
• What shifting these habits took.
• How she stopped doing all of the planning and chores herself (and resenting him for it) and worked with her partner to step up more.
• How she influences her honey to proactively grow alongside her.
• How she incorporates the things she learned and skills she developed though our coaching everyday for more peace, enjoyment and love
• How highly sensitive women are so well positioned for having great positive influence in our relationships (and what that takes).
• Her words of advice to you to make your marriage one you truly enjoy, too!

All of this is  illustrated with tangible easily-relatable stories from her life and relationship. 

Luanne talks about the same approaches and  tools I do (since I taught her them!) , but in her own way, which will help you understand them in a new light. This conversation has so many little gems of wisdom all throughout, so perk your ears and enjoy this special episode.

ENJOYING THE SHOW?

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SHOW NOTES:
Learn about and join TREASURED here ( it's now the only way to work with me! Doors close May 2oth)

Get More Free Support, Courses and Coaching for your Relationship HERE.

This is a special short episode about the best way to evolve your marriage as a HSP. 

In it, you get to hear directly from 3 of my recent highly sensitive Treasured program graduates, Emma, Sonya, and Rockie about the power of healing our relationships in a community of supportive like-minded others. 

They share what their experience in the Treasured group was like, how they felt nervous about a group program, what it really ended up feeling like, why it was so transformative, and how it was different and supplemented by their 1:1 coaching with me.

They also dish out some real relationship-changing wisdom!

If you're wondering if getting support to make your marriage better, or if you are even slightly considering joining Treasured now or in a future round, definitely don’t miss this. 

ENJOYING THE SHOW?

• Get the HSHM Podcast Map, so you can quickly identify the episodes most helpful for your unique relationship, by supporting the podcast (for as little as $3) HERE. 
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• Leave  a review in Apple Podcasts--we are SO grateful!

SHOW NOTES:
If you want to learn more about Treasured, click here.
If you are ready to sign up, fill out this form.

116  If you feel like the love you once had in your relationship has faded (a little or a lot), and dissatisfaction and disappointment have  moved in,  you are in a phase of relationship I call disenchantment. And truth be told, finding yourself here is more the rule than the exception in modern relationships.

But it doesn't have to be.

Today you'll hear the 3 reasons why disenchantment is oh-so-common, especially in sensitive people--and it’s likely not what you think!

You’ll also learn the good news about what finding yourself here means, and get 3 tips to set you up to get out of disenchantment and into a deeper, more fulfilling, more genuine love than ever in your marriage.

If you are tired of being less-than-happy in your marriage, and you’re ready to feel truly hopeful, encouraged, and empowered to bring your marriage alive with love, ease, connection and attraction again, listen in.

ENJOYING THE SHOW?

• Get the HSHM Podcast Map, so you can quickly identify the episodes most helpful for your unique relationship, by supporting the podcast (for as little as $3) HERE. 
• Don’t miss an episode! Subscribe via Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Stitcher.
• Leave  a review in Apple Podcasts--we are SO grateful!

SHOW NOTES:
Learn about and join TREASURED here  (Currently enrolling for Fall '23 round)
Bring Back the Attraction is currently unavailable.

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115  Attraction. One of the funnest, most vitalizing, magical parts of love relationships. If you are like most women, you WANT to keep it alive in your marriage–or bring it back if it's faded.

And you want it to go both ways: you want to feel attracted to your partner–and feel their attraction to you, too.

Unfortunately, it is very common for feelings of attraction to seemingly fade over time in our intimate relationships.  But that does NOT have to be the case for you. You can keep it alive–or bring it back for the long haul.

But it will take learning and intentionality. In this episode, I help you begin that learning, and give you 8 tips on how to be more attractive to your partner. Because of course you want to feel attractive to your spouse. And you may not be feeling that as much as you’d like. Dive in to change that today.

This is just one leg of the journey, though. Because you also want to feel that aliveness of attraction TO your significant other. So I made a special training for you on how to revive it and KEEP it alive, so the joy of mutual attraction can become a permanent part of your lives together. Grab the training here: Bring Back The Attraction; 7 Keys To Sparking More Of That Magical Appeal You Used To Feel.

ENJOYING THE SHOW?

• Get the HSHM Podcast Map, so you can quickly identify the episodes most helpful for your unique relationship, by supporting the podcast (for as little as $3) HERE. 
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Get More Free Support, Courses and Coaching for your Relationship HERE.

114  Are you making excuses for your significant other? Or are you genuinely accepting them and meeting them with understanding? Find out in this episode.

You’ve heard me say it a lot: it IS important to accept our partner for who they are.

But, if  accepting them feels to you more like you're resigning yourself to things not feeling good between you, or you feel like you’re having to tolerate bad behavior from your significant other,  you may be just making excuses for them-- not genuinely accepting them.

If so, you're doing it wrong. In fact, I have a name for this : disempowered acceptance. And it actually takes away your power of influence to make your marriage better.

So today I want to help you do acceptance right.

Because when you are genuinely accepting your partner, you are actually MORE capable of making improvements and inspiring positive change in your marriage.

I call this Empowered Acceptance.

Dive in to hear me lay it all out. I even share a story from my own marriage that will help you understand how to do it yourself.

SHOW NOTES
Want to feel more attraction, desire, and playful connection with your significant other? Then get access to Hannah’s on-demand training, Bring Back the Attraction. Grab it here and tune in soon.

Get More Free Support, Courses and Coaching for your Relationship HERE.

ENJOYING THE SHOW?

• Get the HSHM Podcast Map, so you can quickly identify the episodes most helpful for your unique relationship, by supporting the podcast (for as little as $3) HERE. 
• Don’t miss an episode! Subscribe via Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Stitcher.
• Leave  a review in Apple Podcasts--we are SO grateful!

113    If you find yourself asking, “Did I marry the wrong person?”, wondering if maybe there is someone better out there for you, or noticing a lot of what is not so great about your partner—or generally feeling dissatisfied with your marriage— this episode is for you.

This is so common as highly sensitive people, not just because our partner's faults tend to loom large to us, but  because our society gives us the idea that it's possible to have a perfect partner, a “Mr. Right”. 

This seriously (and sneakily) undermines our ability to be happy in our marriage…  because every REAL human will ALWAYS fall short. And we will be disappointed and endlessly dissatisfied and longing for something better.

This is what I think of as Marriage Perfectionism. And even if you don't think you're a perfectionist, you may still be under the spell of marriage perfectionism–and having the life sucked out of you and your marriage because of it.

If you want to re-enliven the love, attraction, and joy in your marriage--and make it all LAST– then having an imperfect partner is the BEST opportunity to do so–if you take advantage. 

Because the solution isn't your partner being more Mr Right. It’s about you learning to love more perfectly. Listen in to hear all about it.

ENJOYING THE SHOW?

• Get the HSHM Podcast Map, so you can quickly identify the episodes most helpful for your unique relationship, by supporting the podcast (for as little as $3) HERE. 
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• Leave  a review in Apple Podcasts--we are SO grateful!

SHOW NOTES
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112   Many highly sensitive people tend towards perfectionism. Although perfectionism can make us feel successful in certain ways, it actually fuels an exhausting, self-worth-depleting cycle that does more harm than good in our lives and relationships.

Today we dive into the whats, whys and hows of it. We look at WHY we fall into perfectionism (hint–it’s a protective strategy developed early on in life), what it looks like, what it results in in our lives and how it impacts our relationships…

… and the surprising way you can soften its grip on your life and release it. (I tell my own story about this!)

Even if you never thought of yourself as a perfectionist, you may still have some of the tendencies of perfectionism (some of them go hand in hand with high sensitivity) –and be experiencing the fallout effects of them. If so, you will want to be aware of it, so you can start shifting it at the source…

…and so you can feel much more ease, confidence, and loving intimacy within yourself and your marriage.

ENJOYING THE SHOW?

• Get the HSHM Podcast Map, so you can quickly identify the episodes most helpful for your unique relationship, by supporting the podcast (for as little as $3) HERE. 
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• Leave  a review in Apple Podcasts--we are SO grateful!

SHOW NOTES
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111  Anger is not a bad emotion. It can be a useful fuel for positive change in our relationships. But in our modern relationships, it most often isn't…

That’s because we tend to over-indulge in it, and react out of it. So it ends up doing more harm than good in our marriages.

If you find yourself annoyed, frustrated, resentful, or angry somewhat often at your partner–and you think you may show it (even if only subtly), please know that you are not a bad partner and this is quite normal. Yet, it is most likely not only pushing you and your partner apart, but also diluting any power your anger may have to make things better between you.

If so, it’s time to take a different approach. This doesn't mean eliminating anger, but rather evolving the way you handle it so it can serve you effectively, the way it was meant to. 

Dive in to learn about:

• How our unconscious defense mechanisms can lead to over-relying on anger in an attempt to improve things
• Why, if you're feeling anger often, it's likely because you're in a very normal stage in your relationship–one that you can move beyond, so you can have the love and connection you want. 
• The 2 kinds of anger–one that hurts and one that heals. 
• How the way I handled anger really hurt my first marriage—and how the way I handle it now has been a healing force in my own marriage.
• How you, too, can begin shifting from the harmful to the helpful type of anger
• What ”strategic anger” can do for you and your relationship when you learn to use it.
• What you can do instead of getting really angry at your significant other to make positive changes between you.
  
  

Tune in to this episode to start building a whole new relationship with your very human emotion of anger–one that will help you have the relationship you really want with your husband.

ENJOYING THE SHOW?

• Get the HSHM Podcast Map, so you can quickly identify the episodes most helpful for your unique relationship, by supporting the podcast (for as little as $3) HERE. 
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• Leave  a review in Apple Podcasts--we are SO grateful!

SHOW NOTES
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Episodes mentioned: 

• Grievance: The Biggest Barrier To A Loving Marriage
• Calming Emotional Reactivity For HSPs
• How To Feel Safe To Feel Any Feeling

110  If you don't feel as appreciated in your relationship as you want to, you are not alone. Lots of highly sensitive women have shared with me that they feel the same. I want to help you turn that around.

Because there's SO much to appreciate in all that you do and all that you are. And I want you to FEEL that. So today I share 5 tips to start shifting the very culture of your marriage into one way more full of appreciation.

We also look at some of the things that can get in the way of being and feeling appreciated–both from your own end and your partner's end–and how to work with these so they don’t get in the way anymore.

The truth is, just because  your marriage doesn't feel as appreciative and loving as you want it to, there is nothing that needs to stop you from inviting more of it into your relationship starting today.

To do so, dive into this episode and start  harnessing the power of influence you have to make your marriage appreciation-full.

ENJOYING THE SHOW?

• Get the HSHM Podcast Map, so you can quickly identify the episodes most helpful for your unique relationship, by supporting the podcast (for as little as $3) HERE. 
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• Leave  a review in Apple Podcasts--we are SO grateful!

SHOW NOTES
GRAB THE 7 MOST POWERFUL PHRASES TO DEEPEN CONNECTION IN YOUR MARRIAGE

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109  Does your partner try to “fix” you when you're sad, or quickly tell you that it will  all be okay, make a joke ( or even ignore you)–instead of holding you or sitting lovingly with you while you cry or spill it all out–like you want him to?

This is so common! So, if you don’t feel very emotionally supported by your partner when you are having a hard day or are upset–or if you wish he was more empathetic and caring during those times, this episode is for you!

Being there for you when you are upset is NOT many men’s strong suit. 

Today I dive into WHY, so you can not just understand and have a lot more peace around his way of trying to support you, but so you can also help him be better at being there for you in a way that feels good to YOU (and him, too!) during the harder moments of life.

Listen in to hear: 

• About the real brain differences that make the sensitive caring empathy we love hard for him
• 3 things to know and remember to feel more loved and supported when you're upset
• The exact things to DO to encourage him to be better able to lovingly be there for you in the hard times.
  
  

(Keep in mind we aren’t talking today about when you’re upset at him–rather when you are upset about something else in life.)

If you implement everything I suggest in this episode, you can say goodbye to feeling so dismissed, hurt, or uncared for by your husband when you are having a hard time–and BOTH start feeling like the harder times of life actually have the power to bring you closer as a couple.

ENJOYING THE SHOW?

• Get the HSHM Podcast Map, so you can quickly identify the episodes most helpful for your unique relationship, by supporting the podcast (for as little as $3) HERE. 
• Don’t miss an episode! Subscribe via Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Stitcher.
• Leave  a review in Apple Podcasts--we are SO grateful!

SHOW NOTES
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