104   Being honest and authentic with your partner is important to intimacy–but being  transparent, authentic and open (TAO) with yourself is even more important if you want to  have a relationship you feel great in!

I want this to be the year your marriage changes for the better forever.

So let’s start it off on the right foot: with a TAO process that helps you take a clear-eyed look at yourself in your relationship over the past year, and helps you decide how and if you want to adjust anything on your side of the street this year--so you can be set up for the most success you've ever had at making your marriage the best it can be this year.

Because a marriage that grows in peace, fun, connection, loving team-ship and intimacy can’t happen if you aren't willing to look at yourself: how you act, the choices you make, the ways you interact –and most especially– the ways you THINK. 

If you want to have any sway over your experience in love and the way your marriage goes…you must be able and willing SEE your mind.

In this episode I dive into why and exactly how to do this, along with a process to get the ball rolling right now.

Grab your pen and perk your ears–because this is the beginning of the most influence you’ve ever had over how happy, living and fulfilling your marriage is.

ENJOYING THE SHOW?

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103  Ready to start the New Year off on the most love-empowering foot, for REAL positive change in your marriage?
 
The most powerful way to do that (actually the only way to do that) is by taking super-responsibility for all you can in your marriage–in particular the pain or unhappiness you are experiencing.

Doesn’t sound like fun? I’ve heard that before from other sensitive people. And it’s the reason so many people don't take responsibility–and therefore lose out majorly on having the kind of loving fulfilling marriage they want.

That doesn't have to be you.

In this episode I share how taking responsibility for your experience in your relationship can be the most EMPOWERING experience— instead of it feeling crappy! In fact, you can make this key to great love FUN. 

Dive in to hear: 

• My definition of self-responsibility and what it means to be 100% self-responsible
   
• How, if you live without it,  it will cost you love, connection, happiness, fulfillment, laughter, joy and passion in your relationship.
   
• why it’s like winning the lasting-love-lottery once you learn to really do it, giving you way more power than you ever knew you had to make your marriage the best it can be. 
  
  
• The totally avoidable mistake people make that leads to it feeling bad
  
  
• What the people who are good at it have that others don’t (you can develop this!)
  
  
• How to make it feel empowering, fun and totally rewarding, so you can GROW the love, connection, happiness, fulfillment, laughter, joy and passion in your relationship.

Honestly, I can’t believe I didn't make this episode for you sooner! It’s one not to miss-–giving you the biggest foundational key to breaking through to long-term happiness in love.  

ENJOYING THE SHOW?

• Get the HSHM Podcast Map, so you can quickly identify the episodes most helpful for your unique relationship, by supporting the podcast (for as little as $3) HERE. 
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• Leave  a review in Apple Podcasts--we are SO grateful!

SHOW NOTES
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102   Ever felt that stinging (or punch-in-the-gut) feeling when your partner says or does something hurtful? Or maybe it’s something he doesn't do that leads to you feeling like he just doesn’t care. Like you don’t matter. Like you aren’t loved.

For highly sensitive women, this is oh-so-common.

It may very well be true that your partner could be more skillful in his interactions with you. At the same time, so much of the hurt you feel in these moments comes from  taking things personally.

Which you can put an end to NOW.

And you want to. Because taking things personally doesn't  just hurt–it costs us big time in our intimate relationships, leading to all sorts of AVOIDABLE pain and diminishment of affection and connection.

The good news is you can learn to not take things so personally. And it will free you up to have way more of the support, connection and loving intimacy you want with your partner. Listen in as I share how.

I used to take all sorts of things personally, and it hurt me and my marriage. I spent years learning how to put an end to that unnecessary pain, and replace it with the closeness, ease and love I want between my husband and I. I want that for you to.

In this episode, I dive into 3 big keys to stop taking things so personally so you can feel less hurt and more love everyday of your life.

And don't miss the announcement about the new course to make your habit of taking things personally a thing of the past for you.

ENJOYING THE SHOW?

• Get the HSHM Podcast Map, so you can quickly identify the episodes most helpful for your unique relationship, by supporting the podcast (for as little as $3) HERE. 
• Don’t miss an episode! Subscribe via Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Stitcher.
• Leave  a review in Apple Podcasts--we are SO grateful!

SHOW NOTES
Click here to learn about and join the  STOP TAKING IT SO PERSONALLY COURSE for HSPs–7 steps to less hurt and more love every day of your life.
Get More Free Support, Courses and Coaching HERE.

101  If you want more connection, love, and joy between you and your partner, but you're often disappointed, frustrated, resentful or irritated with your significant other, you're definitely going to want to listen to this episode.

We are diving into what has been researched to be the #1 thing happy couples do to keep their marriage fulfilling, connected, and strong for life: Making regular gestures of connection, as I call them.  But there is something overlooked in the research that will make or break whether these gestures of connection work successfully in YOUR marriage.

All too often these gestures of connection don’t make the impact they could. Because they just won't work if you are emotionally not truly open to connection–and the truth is, so many of us aren’t a lot of the time–and don't know how to get back to that place where you are able to both offer and receive these gestures of connection.

But you can change that, and therefore tap into the power of these gestures of connection to make your marriage one that deepens in love, intimacy–and all things good–over time.

So today I share:

• What these gestures of connection look like
• How they benefit you and your marriage
• How just doing them superficially can actually backfire
• What the common obstacles are that keep you from being able to harness the marriage enhancing power of these gestures of connection
• what you really need to make this key actually have the positive impact on your marriage they are touted to.
• Ways to shift back into the emotional states that make these gestures so successful for so many couples.

In fact, what I share here isn’t just the key to making these gestures of connection work for your marriage's success, but it’s key to the success of ALL the expert communication and connection building strategies.

In other words, nothing will make your marriage the loving one you want as deeply, powerfully, and quickly as developing the skills of guiding yourself out of emotional states that are closed to connection, and into ones that grow connection, as I share here today.  So dive in!

ENJOYING THE SHOW?

• Get the HSHM Podcast Map, so you can quickly identify the episodes most helpful for your unique relationship, by supporting the podcast (for as little as $3) HERE. 
• Don’t miss an episode! Subscribe via Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Stitcher.
• Leave  a review in Apple Podcasts--we are SO grateful!

SHOW NOTES:
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It’s episode 100!!! And we are celebrating with a special conversation with my very own husband about what it takes for you, as a sensitive person, and your partner to have a marriage you LOVE for the long-haul.

He and I dive into a few of our keys to keeping our marriage “real-enchanted” (fun, passionate, and loving despite being real–and flawed– humans living real, messy lives.) We cover:

• How we have a marriage we both feel so good in–and yet, we still experience real human relationship difficulties at times. But we let those times bring us closer together, instead of further apart–and how you can do this, too. 
• How we went through a hard phase this summer and what we learned from it together and individually–that is so relevant for all HSP couples.
• How we choose to focus on what we love about each other more than what we don’t like so much–and how you can do this, too.
• How, throughout our marriage, we have continued to keep alive a sense of excitement and eagerness about our future together–and how you can do this, too.

Join us for this light-hearted but serious conversation with a real-life couple who truly loves the marriage they have created! You’ll laugh and go aha right along with us.

If you missed episode 25, Interview With My Husband: Growing An Amazing Marriage With An HSP give that a listen, too. 

To help me CELEBRATE this 100th episode, if you’ve been enjoying this podcast, please leave a review on apple podcasts. Thank you so much and cheers!

ENJOYING THE SHOW?

• Get the HSHM Podcast Map, so you can quickly identify the episodes most helpful for your unique relationship, by supporting the podcast (for as little as $3) HERE. 
• Don’t miss an episode! Subscribe via Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Stitcher.
• Leave  a review in Apple Podcasts--we are SO grateful!

SHOW NOTES:
Set up your consult here.
Hannah’s website

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099  If you’re an HSP and your partner doesn't understand what High sensitivity is and how it impacts you and your relationship, it can make things between you harder.

You’ve been listening and learning all about sensitivity and having a great marriage as a Highly Sensitive Person. But you still feel your partner doesn't understand you or your sensitivity sometimes. I made this episode to change that: it’s for your partner to listen to, if they are willing. Or even better: listen together.

 When BOTH of you are educated about high sensitivity it will make a big difference in your relationship.

This episode will help him learn about the trait, how it affects you and things in your relationship, and how he can not just understand you better, but also support you and work WITH your sensitivity to make your marriage one of the best ones possible!

Listen in as we cover the research-based facts about the trait, how it affects you and your marriage, and what HE can do to ensure more love, connection, understanding, and happiness in your relationship.

If you’re having a hard time convincing him to listen, I give you some tips to help in the first few minutes of the podcast. And if he still won’t–I’ve got tips for you, too. 

There’s lots to gain from this golden episode for your marriage. 

ENJOYING THE SHOW?

• Get the HSHM Podcast Map, so you can quickly identify the episodes most helpful for your unique relationship, by supporting the podcast (for as little as $3) HERE. 
• Don’t miss an episode! Subscribe via Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Stitcher.
• Leave  a review in Apple Podcasts--we are SO grateful!

SHOW NOTES
Follow me Instagram (and DM me to tell me what YOU want your partner to understand about you)
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098  Your values are a huge factor in your marriage happiness and fulfillment. 

Unfortunately, it's all too  easy to not be very conscious of what our values actually are, if the ones we live by currently are serving us, what we want our values to be, or if we ourselves are living out values that serve us well in our marriage (often, instead we can fall into noticing where our partner isn’t living our values). 

But when you do some work around your core values in relationship you will have a lot more power to make your marriage one you feel so good about.

 So in this episode, we take a look at:

• Why your values matter 
  
  
• The negative impact on our relationships and happiness when we don't get clear about and take responsibility for living our own values–and so by accident live out values that don't serve us or our marriage. 
  
  
• WHO needs to live your values for your marriage thrive.
  
  
• Where to focus when it comes to infusing your marriage with your values.
  
  
• What to know if your partner's values and your own are different

Then we go through a whole process (and I point you to a worksheet I made for you to support this process) to help you bring your top core values alive in your marriage for a more loving, fulfilling, joyful marriage.

If you listen in and implement what I share today, not only will you alleviate a lot of  unnecessary discord, but you will be leading the way to a culture of respect, love, and integrity-- and more of all the things you truly value as an HSP-- right into the heart of your relationship.

ENJOYING THE SHOW?

• Get the HSHM Podcast Map, so you can quickly identify the episodes most helpful for your unique relationship, by supporting the podcast (for as little as $3) HERE. 
• Don’t miss an episode! Subscribe via Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Stitcher.
• Leave  a review in Apple Podcasts--we are SO grateful!

SHOW NOTES:
Get the free PDF worksheet: YOUR CORE VALUES IN MARRIAGE: A Process To Help You Choose And Live Your Highest Values Into Your Relationship
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097  Your wants and needs can be met in your relationship–even if they aren’t right now. Last episode we clarified the difference between want and a need– and it is required listening before diving into this one. 

In this episode, we look more in depth at getting your WANTS met in your relationship (think of it as part 2 on fulfilling your wants and needs in your marriage).

You’ll come away knowing the top 2 things you need to really understand to get your wants and needs met, what a Non-Negotiable Want is, and why self-worth (or being important to yourself) is an essential part of having your wants fulfilled.

In this episode, you’ll also actually develop more self-worth and clarity on what your personal non-negotiable wants are–so you can call them into your life.

I illustrate all of it with a very personal example from a hard time my husband and I went through this summer––and share what I did to make it so we came out stronger than ever, so now I’m not just getting my needs met, but my wants, as well! 

Listen in to find out how you can, too!

ENJOYING THE SHOW?

• Get the HSHM Podcast Map, so you can quickly identify the episodes most helpful for your unique relationship, by supporting the podcast (for as little as $3) HERE. 
• Don’t miss an episode! Subscribe via Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Stitcher.
• Leave  a review in Apple Podcasts--we are SO grateful!

SHOW NOTES:
I have a few 1:1 Coaching spots available again. Schedule your consult here.
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096  In the world of relationship improvement, “needs” gets used a whole lot! If you are using it in your own mind or saying it to your partner a lot, it makes sense...you were taught to.

But often when we say needs what we are really talking about is a want. We get these two terms mixed up–and it’s not good for our own emotional well-being, or our marriage, leading to all sorts of power struggles, feelings of resentment, disappointment, and helplessness to make things good between you.

 In fact, having confusion about the difference–and where our needs and wants get met– can be the downfall of many relationships that would otherwise thrive. 

So today we are going to bust some of this confusion apart and get you some real clarity about the difference between wants and needs in your marriage. 

We will also dive into where your true power is to get your emotional needs met–and some of the specific differences you might,  as a highly sensitive women,  have to address  around this–so you can have agency over your experience in your relationship–and a better marriage for the rest of your life!

What I share today may challenge what you’ve been taught and believed up until now, but it will change everything in your marriage for the better. 

If you want a light, loving, connected marriage, where you actually enjoy your partner and feel consistently secure and fulfilled , then this is essential listening for you. 

Dig in.

ENJOYING THE SHOW?

• Get the HSHM Podcast Map, so you can quickly identify the episodes most helpful for your unique relationship, by supporting the podcast (for as little as $3) HERE. 
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• Leave  a review in Apple Podcasts--we are SO grateful!

SHOW NOTES
Hop on my email list HERE
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095   It’s a rare Highly Sensitive Person that enjoys conflict – most of us are pretty averse to it! 

Because it’s uncomfortable! Lots of big feelings can come up. It can bring old stuff up from the past…and you can go into fight or flight or freeze mode. When it's happening, it can even feel like things are going to fall apart between you and your husband. So I get it if you tend to want to avoid it at all costs.

But, rather than helping you avoid conflict or have peace in your marriage, being averse to conflict actually leads to MORE conflict — both internally and between you and your significant other— and less closeness and connection overtime.

You can feel so much more comfort and ease when it comes to conflict—and this doesn't mean you will have more of them in your life! You will actually have less conflicts and issues in your marriage, as you will see today.

In this episode I share all about:

• Why and how conflict aversion makes our experience of conflict worse and more damaging to your relationship
  
  
• Why conflict is harder as an HSP
  
  
• My own bad experience and healing journey around conflict  
  
  
• and the 5 steps you can take to actually create so much more comfort with conflict, so it can HELP your marriage instead of hurting it.

This episode is essential listening if you want your experience of conflict to be so much easier, so conflicts can stop being bigger problems than they need to be, and you can turn conflicts into conversations that actually lead to solutions and feeling closer with your partner and like a team in life together. 

Dive in.

ENJOYING THE SHOW?

• Get the HSHM Podcast Map, so you can quickly identify the episodes most helpful for your unique relationship, by supporting the podcast (for as little as $3) HERE. 
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SHOW NOTES
Links mentioned:
VIDEO: A Tool No HSP Should Live — Or Love — Without
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