Home To Me

Episode Description

Going no contact with a parent is one of the most misunderstood — and most judged — decisions someone can make. From the outside, it can look like rejection or punishment. On the inside, it's usually about survival, boundaries, and self-preservation.

In this episode, I'm unpacking what leads someone to make that decision, why it's rarely a snap choice, and the complex mix of grief, relief, and guilt that can follow. Steph shares her person experience going no contact with a parent, sharing what led to the decision, and all the highs, lows, and eyerolls in between. We'll talk about the myths people carry about "family loyalty," and share more about all the layers that come into play when cutting off contact with one parent.

If you've ever struggled with a relationship where love and harm coexist, this conversation is for you.

We explore:

• Steph's person experience with going no contact with a parent

• Grief, anger, self-protection, and a road to healing

• The impact of emotionally immature parents on kids

• How to navigate grief, guilt, and the "good child" conditioning

• How pain may need space to heal, but overidentifying with that pain can end up preventing healing

🎧 Rate, review, and DM me your favorite moment from the episode

In this episode of Home to Me, Steph unpacks the loaded phrase "feel your feelings" — what it actually means, why so many of us avoid it, and how feeling isn't the same as spiraling. Through a deeply honest story about disconnection, performance, and perfectionism, she explores the body's quiet wisdom and how emotions aren't problems to solve, but messages to hear.

If you've ever asked yourself, "Am I being too sensitive?" or "What if I fall apart and don't come back?" — this one's for you.

We explore:

• What it actually means to feel your feelings (and what it doesn't)

• How we confuse emotional control with emotional strength

• The 90-second feeling rule, and how to stop being afraid of what's inside

• How practicing self-compassion is the key to sitting with feelings

• How to gently host your emotions, not lock them out of the house

Mentioned in this episode:

• Dr Kristen Neff's research on self-compassion and how to practice it

• Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor's research on the 90-second emotion cycle

I only say b*tch once! Least amount of cussing yet!

In this week's vulnerable and heartfelt episode of 'Home to Me,' Steph gets vulnerable about her struggles with overcommitting and feeling overwhelmed. Navigating the pressures of starting a new podcast, working on a workbook for therapists in training, and maintaining a social media presence, she reveals her internal struggles and the tendency to fall into old patterns of anxiety and comparison. She shares her reality check with herself, recognizing the behaviors and leaning on her go to techniques of practicing gratitude, and making space for her feelings without judgment. In this episode, Steph provides a relatable and honest look into the life of a therapist trying to balance it all while reminding listeners of the importance of self-compassion and authenticity.

You'll learn:

· Techniques to practice when you feel like the world is against you

· A lot about Steph's inner dialogue as she juggles all her roles

· That therapists (at least this therapist) do not have their sh*t together

This one is for everyone who's struggling with overwhelm and overcommittment right now. Or anyone who wants to hear Steph have a mini-meltdown ;) lol! JK!

Quotes from the episode:

"First make space for it, then make sense of it"

🎧 Rate, review, and DM me your favorite moment from the episode, or just how your week is going

Note! There are less cuss words than usual!

This week on Home to Me, Steph is sharing the exact words you can borrow as you try to throw out your Nice Girl script and start having difficult conversations. It can be so hard to find the words, so let her help you get started. Here are the topics with the timestamps. Of course listen to the whole thing, but use this as a cheat sheet if there is a specific one that works for you.

• 3:56 - I'm struggling and I don't know how to ask for help
• 7:24 - I am not ok with this dynamic anymore. Something has to change
• 21:03 - I've changed my mind
• 30:34 - I am not available for this kind of relationship anymore
• 38:08 - I am not ok with jokes that make me the punchline

This one is for everyone who wants to start throwing out old rules, speaking up, and building that inner trust that helps us life with quiet confidence, no matter what.

Quotes from the episode:

"First make it exist, then you can make it good"

🎧 Rate, review, and DM me your favorite moment from the episode — or the difficult thing you need help communicating

Note! There are many cuss words!

This week on Home to Me, we're throwing out the Nice Girl script — you know the one. Always agreeable. Always apologizing. Never rocking the boat.

Steph shares how growing up in patriarchal systems taught her that being "nice" would keep her safe, loved, and accepted — but instead, it left her stuck in patterns of self-abandonment and resentment. From wetsuit trauma to practicing pausing, she reflects on how "nice" became a trap, and how she's replacing it with something far more powerful: kindness rooted in integrity.

You'll learn:

· The real difference between nice and kind

· Why kindness might disappoint others — and why that's okay

· How to start practicing the pause, even when it's wildly uncomfortable

· Questions to ask yourself when you feel that "nice girl" instinct kicking in

This one is for everyone who's ever said "yes" and immediately regretted it. Time to reclaim your voice, your power, and your wetsuit size.

Quotes from the episode:

"Being kind might disappoint others. Being nice usually just disappoints you." "You don't owe anyone your likability. You owe yourself your integrity."

🎧 Rate, review, and DM me your favorite moment from the episode — or the nice girl habit you're breaking up with this week.

Note! There are many cuss words!

When we first start setting boundaries, it doesn't feel good—it feels hard. It feels like guilt. Like fear. Like disappointing people you love. But that discomfort? It's not a red flag. It's a sign that you're growing.

In this episode of Home To Me, Steph shares her own messy, funny, deeply human journey through learning to say no, choosing herself (on purpose), and why the first few steps toward change feel super uncomfortable.

We talk about cultural messaging around sacrifice, and the tender truth that loving people doesn't mean saving them from their own growth. And if you've ever resented making tea for five people when all you wanted was one cup? You're in the right place.

This one's for the people-pleasers, the overfunctioners, and the big-hearted humans who are ready to stop rescuing and start relating. Because boundaries aren't walls—they're a radical act of trust in yourself and the people you love.

Show Notes

In this episode, Steph explores:

• The childhood tea story that perfectly sums up people-pleasing

• Where we may have learned the art of ignoring our needs and wants

• What boundaries are not (hint: not walls, not ultimatums, not control tactics)

• Why boundaries benefit everyone in the relationship—not just you

• How setting boundaries builds respect, safety, and actual intimacy

• The emotional fallout of saying "no"—and why that discomfort means you're growing

• A deeply personal story of a relationship-saving boundary (thank you, husband)

• Practice scripts for real-life boundary-setting (yes, including how to skip that event you don't want to go to)

• A whole bunch of cussing

Try This This Week: Schedule one small thing just for you—and protect it like your job depends on it. Practice the pause - "Let me get back to you on that." Let the guilt be proof that you're doing something new. The hard is evidence of growth.

Get ready to ditch childhood rulebooks and embrace your messy, glorious, totally imperfect self. In this episode of Home to Me, we'll uncover the invisible rules we learned to keep safe—and explore how they might be holding us back.

Think always "being polite," or the curse of thinking achievement > effort. We'll cheer each other on as we start saying: "Fuck the rules...unless they're ours." Expect stories, laughs, and permission to break free.

Show Notes

This Episode Covers:

• Reflection: What "rules" from childhood still run your life?

• Real-life examples:

  • "Achievement above effort" mindset

  • The unspoken politeness codes

  • The "golf = selfish" myth (thanks, husband 😉)

• The toxic trio: burnout, resentment, and comparison

• How to unlearn old rules: name them → test them → rewrite them

• Healing in action: answering imperfectly, role-playing, and loving confusion

• A South African-American lens on freeing yourself from political tribalism

Key Takeaways:

1. You don't have to follow rules you didn't choose.

2. Name the rule → ask who benefits from it → design a new one for you.

3. Embrace confusion—it's growth's BFF.

4. Quote to journal on: "The old rules kept you safe. The new ones can set you free."

Welcome Home! In this week's episode, Steph explores the power of connection and how the current political climate is impacting our connections. Fear drives protection which drives a big wedge between you and everyone around you. It's not a political commentary piece, it's a human to human connection piece. She also shares a story that will share hope in a time where connecting accross politics and religion seems hopeless.

We explore:

• What "positivity resonance" is and why your giggling newborn might be onto something.

• Why humor is not just a coping mechanism, it's a literal brain unlock.

• How to tell the difference between a real threat and a passive-aggressive tone about keys.

If you feel constantly afraid, angry as hell, or felt like the world's on fire but still want to connect with your fellow humans, this one's for you.

🔍 Things we mention:

• Dr. Barbara Fredrickson's work on Positivity Resonance

  • Major, B. C., Le Nguyen, K. D., Lundberg, K. B., & Fredrickson, B. L. (2018). Well-being correlates of perceived positivity resonance: Evidence from trait and episode-level assessments. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 44(12), 1631-1647

• That Trevor Noah episode Steph could not remember:

  • What Now? with Trevor Noah: Episode name Join or Die

🛋️ Therapy without the copay. Self-awareness with a side of sass. Welcome home.

Alternative title: The Buffet Is Open (and Jeffrey's Not Invited)

In this episode of Home to Me, we go back to the why. Why does self-trust matter so deeply? Why do defensiveness, insecurity, and people-pleasing steal so much from us? Through a story of meetings, metaphors, and missed ETF lessons, therapist and host Steph unpacks what it really means to come home to yourself — and how being liked, or not, has shaped so much of what we do. You'll walk away with a grounded sense of why self-trust is the foundation of inner freedom, plus a powerful exercise to uncover what's really driving your discomfort. It's tender, funny, and real. You're in the right place. Welcome Home

SHOW NOTES

Episode 2 – The Cost of Being Liked (And Why Self-Trust Is Worth More)

In this episode, you'll hear:

• A before-and-after story of meetings, self-doubt, and reclaiming your attention

• Why discomfort can feel like danger — and how to tell the difference

• A metaphorical buffet vs. a metaphorical spotlight: which one are you living under?

• A grounding practice to bring joy and self-connection into your day

• A powerful journaling/therapy-style prompt to uncover your core fear behind discomfort

• Why self-trust is the foundation of true belonging

• At least 3 "fucks" uttered

Takeaway quote: "Self-trust is learning that you are liked, valued, and you belong — without needing anyone else to verify it for you."

Action step for listeners: Notice something small you did today that brought you comfort, joy, or choice — and celebrate it out loud like you're parenting your inner child.

"I used to think confidence meant being unshakable. Turns out, it just means being yourself — even when your voice shakes a little." - Steph Venter

I used to look confident. Like, "Wow, she really has it together" confident. But inside? I was mentally proofreading every sentence I said out loud, apologizing for my own opinions, and trying to earn gold stars in emotional customer service.

In this first episode of Home To Me, I'm sharing the moment I realized I'd built a life that looked good on the outside but felt like a slow leak on the inside. This isn't a before-and-after story — it's a walk through the in-between. The part where you start saying "I don't know" out loud and let that be enough.

If you've ever felt like you're faking it, shrinking to fit, or just deeply tired of performing… you're not alone. Let's start turning towards home — one quiet truth at a time.

Show Notes:

In this very first episode of Home To Me, we're starting exactly where the journey back to yourself often begins: in the moment you realize you've been performing instead of living

I share my own story — the polished outside, the overthinking inside, and the quiet unraveling that led me back to something real: self-trust.

Because here's the truth no one talks about: Self-trust doesn't shout. It whispers. And when your life is too loud with people-pleasing, perfectionism, and second-guessing… you miss it.

This isn't a how-to. It's not a fix-it-fast formula. It's a real, honest invitation to slow down, listen in, and come home to yourself — one radical moment at a time.

In this episode, I talk about:

• My experience with people pleasing and living to please and appease most others

• Self-trust being a quiet power— and why we need to get quiet to hear it

• What coming home to yourself can really look like (spoiler: it's messy and beautiful)

Mentioned in this episode:

• Me overthinking every conversation I've ever had

• That subtle moment where I realized I truly disliked my behavior

• The deep relief (and discomfort) of not being everything to everyone

• "Fuck" is said twice, I think