Honestly? Hell Yeah

Imagine: You're an aging big-wig billionaire, respected by many but feared by all. Everyone you meet wants what you've got, and that's MONEY. So they attempt to peddle their wares and sell you on the next "big idea" in hopes that you'll be inspired enough to cut a big, fat check to make all their dreams come true. You've heard it all and it all stinks; so much so that you're not sure you'll ever make another $125M investment again. You're ready to pack it all up and never work in this town again when suddenly, seemingly out of nowhere appears a (literally) bright-eyed and (literally) bushy-tailed 19 year old college dropout with an idea so crazy that it just might work. In the Inventor, we follow the rise and fall of grifter goddess Elizabeth Holmes as she wages a deadly war on phlebotomy, fashion, and ethics alike. Join us as we assess the relationship between Elizabeth's hair as it interacts with her turtle necks, wonder how people in Arizona spend their money at Walgreens, weigh in on science?? and tech???, and ultimately ~change the world~. Tune in!

Extra! Extra! Read all about it! Identical triplets with pretty big hands reunited after 19 years! In Three Identical Strangers, we are treated to and tortured by the incredible true story of three adult men finding the brothers they never knew they had through a series of events that definitely involved community college. And if some were suspicious of their genealogy, please rest assured that they even smoke the same cigs AND all like Chinese food! You just can't make this stuff up! Join us as we watch these newfound celeb siblings suck and fuck their way through New York City, wearing disco suits and opening tacky restaurants called—you guessed it—"Triplets." But you know what they say: With all good things comes a diabolical experiment being conducted against its participant's will. Tune in!

With the holidays swiftly approaching, have you thought about where you're going to buy gifts for your loved ones? You've probably got some things in an online shopping cart, plans to hit the local shops, or maybe you're making presents this year like a POOR PERSON (guilty as charged). Regardless, something tells us that few of you are clamoring to get to the mall like you may have in seasons passed, turning what we call "the mall industrial complex" on its head. In Jasper Mall, we visit a once beloved establishment that has all but been abandoned as it clings to the paltry scraps its few geriatric patrons are willing to spare at any of its 8 remaining stores. So ask your parents for some cash and a ride to the mall where you'll get a criminally crooked undercut at Master Cuts, buy some dusty fake funeral flowers at Robin's Nest, play dominoes in the empty food court, and not much more! And you might not be the horny teenager who once loved bird-doggin' chicks at the mall, but don't worry: it's mostly a place for patriotic senior citizens and Covid tests now! Tune in!

Gobble gobble, BITCHES. It's holiday season, so we're here to get fucking Wasted, and that's just the inconvenient truth™. Thanksgiving is over but the hangover persists as we shove the excessive leftovers into the 'fridge where they'll stay until they go bad and eventually into the trash without a second thought. In a desperate attempt to teach us the error of our ways in regards to the treatment of food throughout the world, reluctant narrator Anthony Bourdain gives us an important lesson in capitalism, excess, waste, and how it's fucking everything up, as usual. Join us as we stuff squash stems with pig rectums, stuff pig rectums with squash stems, not waste a single bite of food, and pay through the goddamn nose for it. Tune in!

She's beauty and she's grace. She's queen of 50 states. She is elegance and she's taste, she is Miss United States...and her name is Paris (Hilton). In the first (?) and only (?) of it's kind, the brand new YouTube documentary called This is Paris checks in with the unofficial American princess of the early aughts after a quiet retreat from the relentless spotlight of celebutante stardom. What we find is that there's a surprising amount to learn about the girl who seemed to bear it all, and a darkness is brewing underneath the bubbly veneer. Join us as we give impressively accurate impressions of Paris Hilton's ACTUAL voice, speculate wildly about Nikki Hilton's treatment of poor people, realize rich people don't know who Homer Simpson is, and learn that the grass isn't always greener on the other side. This episode is big LoLs, betches, so tune all the way in!

It all started out innocently enough: A cartoon of a stoned humanoid frog named Pepe peeing into a toilet began circulating the internet amongst artists and weight lifters alike, as they echoed to his simple and relatable statement that [it] "Feels Good, Man." But when nice-guy Matt Furie uploaded his innocuous comic strip to Myspace in 2008, little did he know he would unexpectedly and accidentally change the course of life as we knew it...literally. When the virginal demons of 4Chan got their grubby little Cheeto-logged paws on the Pepe the Frog cartoon, they did what they do with most things, like relationships & job opportunities: Ruined it! They began manipulating images of the dopey frog to promote things like violence & hatred towards women and minorities, which spread like wildfire and were eventually adopted as a symbol of the "Alt-Right" white supremacists that mobilized to get Donald Trump elected. Join us as we go on the campaign trail to free Pepe from the clutches of the oppressors, fighting for his right to drawn as the bong-tokin', pizza-eatin', peace-lovin' dude he was meant to be!

Every October, the scares and screams of Halloween are difficult to escape. Ghouls, ghosts, witches, and demons haunt the streets, giving us a fright at every corner! However, the rough and tumble citizens of Cedar Hill, Texas ain't scared of no stinkin' skeletons and Frankensteins; they laugh in the face of vampires and werewolves, yessiree. Now, if you really want to get a bunch of evangelical Texans shakin' in their boots, you take them to a small rave, or introduce them to a gay person. And if you really want to freak them the fuck out, the mere notion of pre-marital sex will have them running in fear. In Hell House, these are the themes explored throughout a homemade, church-sanctioned haunted house that attracts tens of thousands of horrified guests per year. Try to be brave and join us as we re-enter the post-9/11 Bush era, where it's always the victim's fault and eternal damnation is the punishment! Tune in!

It's a digital folklore tale as old as time: Not so long ago, in a simpler time, a pandemic would break out from the swampy streets of Florida unlike any we've seen before or since. Suddenly, creepy clowns were plaguing the streets and the internet alike, terrorizing stupid kids and obnoxious teenagers all throughout the nation (but mostly Texas). However, this mania couldn't be traced back to a bat or mosquito, but instead a sudden influx of ominous stickers featuring a melty clown face with a message reading: "WRINKLES THE CLOWN 407-734-0254." Join us as we follow the man behind the mask, witnessing a day in the life of a retired, liver-spotted van dweller who lives off a steady diet of Natural Ice, titty bars, frozen dinners, and 3,845 daily voicemails from parents begging them to come kill their kids. It's not depressing or stupid at all, we promise!

During this entire lifetime you've spent on Earth, do you ever find yourself searching for more? Are there untapped desires within yourself that you have yet to explore? Were your grades TOO good in school? Have you ever been famously addicted to huffing computer duster? Is your wife an addiction specialist? Have you ever just NOT wanted to play football?? If you can answer "yes" to any of the aforementioned questions, rest assured that there's an exclusive collective of sadists eager and willing to give you more (???????) in the Blackout Experiments. That's right people, for the low, low price of $50.00 a session, you can pay a bunch of strangers to strip you naked, waterboard you for hours, tell you that your dad doesn't love you, and spit you out onto the streets wearing nothing but a trash bag! And while that may sound pretty similar to every other blackout you've had, did you ever stop to consider the artistic properties of your shame? If you're thinking that there really aren't any and that there's got to be better ways to face your demons, we agree! Tune in!

The power of Christ compels you! The power of Christ compels you! And when it comes to exorcising a demon from your body and/or sitting through the entirety of The Devil & Father Amorth, truly only the power of Christ can compel you to do so. 43 years after its release date, The Exorcist director William Friedkin crawled out of the retirement community he was placed in to try his hand at documentary filmmaking, and gave us...this. Guys, it's the worst documentary we've ever covered, and is therefore a true autumnal cornucopia of LoLs, tricks, and minimal treats. Join us as we schedule a routine procedure exorcism in a carpeted office room sometime midday, where an antique man will incoherently mumble Bible verses (or, you know, whatever) in our ears and MAYBE scare these demons off once and for all. Spoiler alert: It won't work! Tune in!