The crew kicks things off in classic “kitchen table” fashion (yes… with an unfortunate shart confession) before shifting into a respectful, meaningful conversation about Honor Guard in the fire service—why it matters, what professionalism looks like, and how departments can build/strengthen their own teams. Along the way: sponsor shoutouts, a moment of silence for two fallen firefighters, and a trick-question flag trivia that gets Matt good.

In This Episode

Cold Open: The “Literal Sh*t Show

• Unkie admits to a wet fart situation (aka: shart), sparking a round of “we’ve all been there” stories.

• Brian loses his appetite mid-conversation.

• Doug officially welcomes everyone to the literal “shit show” that is the podcast.

  
  

  ”Housekeeping & Updates

  
  

  Patreon Shoutouts

• New Patreon members welcomed:

  • Ricky Bird

  • Big Bob Penrod (Doug’s new nickname for him)

  • B. Stapleton (the crew debates what the “B” stands for—Brandon? Bradley? Bryce? Broseph? Bart?)

    
    

    Merch Update

• Merch is moving: shirts, hoodies, hats, and now embroidered hats are rolling out.

• Big thanks to everyone who’s ordered.

  
  

  Sponsor Shoutouts

• Unkie’s Seasonings

  • Unkie will be at Virginia Fire & Expo in Virginia Beach (Feb 19–21)

  • Hanging around heavy hitters like Taylor’s Tins, National Fire Radio, and more.

• Burn Box

  • The crew highlights recent box items (hoodie, stickers, mask bag).

  • “If you’re on the fence, jump off and get one.”

    
    

    Potential New Sponsor Idea

• The crew makes a strong case for Dude Wipes becoming a sponsor… for obvious reasons.

  
  

  Moment of Silence

The team honors two recent losses in the fire service:

• Firefighter Michael Mejia (National City FD) — passed from complications of a severe illness.

• Firefighter Howard Bennett (60) — fell into the icy Delaware River while inspecting a fireboat at Wiggins Park Marina.

  
  

  Main Topic: Honor Guard in the Fire Service

• The crew emphasizes Honor Guard as a prestigious, humbling, high-respect role.

• Doug shares that Honor Guard may be the most important work he does in his career.

Doug lays down a core philosophy:

• Honor Guard should be professional, tactful, and executed quietly.

• Cadence screaming or making it “about you” defeats the point.

• Unkie shares frustration with “Marine Corps cadence” style pageantry in civilian settings.

• Doug’s pet peeve: ascots (“Victorian era nonsense” 😂)

Matt shares a probationary-day moment:

• At a Memorial Day ceremony, he placed a wreath… and saluted his Captain instead of the flag.

• Crew compares Matt to “Officer Doofy.”

Unkie hits the crew with trivia:

• Trick question: What degree does the American flag angle during Present Arms?

  • Answer: It doesn’t. The U.S. flag does not bow—only other flags do.

  • Brian nails it. Matt gets smoked.

• Bonus trivia:

  • Texas is the only state flag that can be displayed at the same height as the U.S. flag (as explained in the episode).

• Ricky Bird praises the importance of recent mental health episodes.

• Kenny Mitchell encourages using the episode for roundtable training and discussion.

• Doug shouts out Chelsea from “Hold the Line at Home” for sharing mental health content.

• A listener shares they were admitted to a psych facility after letting things build up—crew praises the honesty and reinforces:

  • “It’s okay to not be okay. It’s not okay to stay not okay.”

• “Welcome to the literal shit show…” — Doug

• “You shouldn’t be heard.” — Doug on Honor Guard professionalism

• “Ditch your bricks.” — Doug (throwback phrase that may become merch)

• How does YOUR department run Honor Guard?
  Drop it in the comments—structure, training, uniforms, pay/OT, recruiting, etc.

• What’s the worst (or weirdest) Honor Guard/Class A uniform detail you’ve seen?
  Keep it respectful… but let’s hear it.