Hops and Box Office Flops

My Fellow Americans is serviceable mismatched duo comedy starring James Garner and Jack Lemmon as two former Presidents on the run from some nefarious government agents.

As former political rivals, Russell P. Kramer (Lemmon) and Matt Douglas (Garner) are thrust together after Kramer is framed for a bribe he didn't take.

Some decent laughs and witty repartee ensue. This is very much Grumpy Old Men with Presidents and not neighbors.

But, hey, that's a winning formula after all! My Fellow Americans, however, did not attain nearly the success of its inspiration. Hence its appearance on this pod.

Now, sit back, reflect on your legacy with a Leinenkugel Summer Shandy, and buy that cook book! The Thunderous Wizard, Chumpzilla, and Bling Blake are somewhere over the rainbow!

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Primary Colors is a highly embellished take on the 1992 Presidential campaign of Bill Clinton.

Using that real life run as inspiration, it tells the story of long-shot democrat hopeful Governor Jack Stanton—a deeply flawed, though well-intentioned politician.

Yes, Stanton like his real-life counterpart is a dirty dog. And his wandering eye is a constant source of annoyance for his team.

That aside, despite its way over-exaggerated elements, Primary Colors is a solid movie on the machinations of politics. Thus, the awards praise it garnered was well earned.

Sadly, its status as a critical darling did not translate to box office success. This movie flopped about as hard as the campaign of Stanton's rival, Gov. Fred Picker.

Now, sit back, grab a Sam Adams from the hotel fridge, and pass out those flyers! The Thunderous Wizard,  Chumpzilla, and Bling Blake are stumping for Stanton!

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The Campaign is an outlandish look at two dimwits vying for votes on the local stump circuit, and it is quite funny.

Democratic candidate Cam Brady (Will Ferrell) duels with Republican Marty Huggins (Zach Galifianakis) for what should've been an uncontested election. Hilarity ensues.

What's most shocking about The Campaign isn't the lengths Brady will go to ensure he maintains his seat; it's that the movie flopped. Starring two comedic heavy hitters in their prime, this should've been a no-brainer.

Alas, it wasn't, so if you haven't seen it, we recommend you do.

Now, sit back, ignore whatever is happening in that porta-john with a Truth from Rhinegeist Brewery, and cast your vote! The Thunderous Wizard and Bling Blake are pushing it real good!

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Swing Vote is about as dated as a film can get, harkening back to a time when politics were more civil and it was conceivable that both parties actually cared about their constituents.

In that sense, it's sort of a time capsule peace. It's also an unfunny mess, where we're stuck rooting for a deadbeat dad as two candidates shamelessly jockey for his decisive vote.

In Swing Vote Kevin Costner, as Bud Johnson, owns that lone vote. It's up to him to decide the winner of the Presidency. The only issue: He is a moron that isn't particularly interested in the race, nor is he aware of the ramifications exercising this immense civic duty could have.

Thus, we're forced to suffer through two hours of him hemming, hawing, and drinking. Yes, he does finally learn his lesson, which culminates in one of the most cheesy scenes we've done on this podcast.

Critics and audiences seemed to agree. Neither enjoyed the film. And Swing Vote didn't even make enough at the box office to recoup its modest $21 million budget.

Now, sit back, help Bud nurse his hangover with a Mangolorian from Naked River Brewery, and hop aboard President Boone's Money Plane! The Thunderous Wizard, Chumpzilla, and Bling Blake are unsure who the hell is actually running in this thing!

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Skyscraper is our highest grossing Try Hard Flop, but it’s also our dullest. A paint-by-numbers action movie with very little action to speak of, this thing is a CGI-bloated algorithm of genre tropes.

Instead of just allowing the Rock to go full 80s badass, we get the wounded warrior poet, who begrudgingly picks back up his “sword” to clear his name and save his family.

If only the villains were similarly overwritten. They’re just there because it’s necessary to have them. Skyscraper doesn’t even bother to give them coherent motivations or pathos.

Unlike the building in the film, movie execs should’ve just let this script burn.

Now, sit back, gain some liquid courage with a Stumble Berry from Fat Head's Brewery, and jump off that crane! The Thunderous Wizard, Chumpzilla, and Bling Blake are lost in this idiotic hall of digital mirrors! Help!

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And, as always, hit us up on Threads, X, Facebook, Bluesky, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids from this week’s episode!

White House Down was one of two action movies set in the nation’s capitol in 2013. And it is the far inferior one.

Despite costing $80 million more than Olympus Has Fallen, White House Down looks and plays like a cheap replica of the former. Its PG-13 rating is also watered down, robbing the film of any potential for over the top violence.

We thought this was America, damnit!

Now, sit back, lock and load an X Hero IPA from Revolution Brewing, and keep your hands off the President's Jordans! The Thunderous Wizard, Chumpzilla, and Bling Blake are trolling the White House tunnels for Gerald Ford's lost swimsuit!

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Toy Soldiers is the proof that Samwise Gamgee isn't just a stupid, fat Hobbit. He was once a dickish prep school kid, who played by his own rules.

Despite his poor behaviors and utter disrespect for authority, he's also capable of heroic feats.

That is the central concept behind Toy Soldiers—trust fund kids versus Colombian terrorists. Like all Die Hard-inspired films, we know how it will end—improbably and with a dose of good old American spirit!

Though it is now considered a cult classic, this isn't one of the finer clones of the 1988 classic that spawned the genre. Is it serviceable? Sure. But there's a reason it flopped, grossing just above $15 million on a budget of $10 million; and its 41% on Rotten Tomatoes isn't exactly off the mark.

But, hey, where else are you going to get to see a bunch of horny teens best vaguely racist depictions of South American ne'er-do-wells?! 

Now, sit back, smuggle in a few This is Growing Up Hazy IPAs from Roses by the Stairs, and swap those circuits! The Thunderous Wizard, Chumpzilla, and Bling Blake may be a bunch of rejects, but we're going to save the day!

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There are many things under siege in Under Siege 2: Dark Territory—the audience, Steven Seagal’s credibility as a tough guy, his belt, and the statutory laws of wherever they filmed.

None of those equate to an entertaining action movie, nor should they describe the sequel to a pretty solid film of the genre.

Yes, this movie sucks. But, it did essentially end the silly notion that Seagal was anything more than the blowhard that he actually was. We can all thank it for that, at least.

Now, sit back, chop open an Oatmeal Porter from Highland Brewing, and hack that Apple Newton! The Thunderous Wizard, Chumpzilla, and Bling Blake are knife fighting terrorists on a runaway train!

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Filmed during the pandemic, 2025's War of the Worlds was shelved for four+ years before being foisted upon the unsuspecting public. This turd should've never been dusted off.

There is nothing less suspenseful than watching Ice Cube fluctuate between looking anxious, angry, disturbed, and smarmy whilst sitting at a computer screen.

Literally, that is the film.

Now, sit back, ease your migraine with a Hazy Sculpin from Ballast Point Brewing, and stop hacking those drones! The Thunderous Wizard, Chumpzilla, and Bling Blake are fighting off the alien invasion with nothing but our moxie and Amazon Prime Air!

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Jaws: The Revenge is the sad end to the great white's big screen carnivorous adventures.

Last episode, we skewered Jaws 3D for its cheap effects, lack of tension, and overall moronic story. Jaws: The Revenge is somehow worse. Sure, the shark effects are better (however moderately), but the story is nonsensical slop.

This time around, the prehistoric predator is out for more than just satisfying its own bloodlust. This hunt is personal. The Brody family is going to pay! Why does this particular shark care so much about their past offenses? That's an impossible question to answer, and, therefore, it probably shouldn't have been asked.

Regardless, they're going to get what's coming to them, and neither the laws of physics nor basic logic will stop Jaws! Hell, why are we even debating this?! Just jump on the banana boat and have some fun!

Now, sit back, toast to Sean Brody's memory with a Fiddlehead IPA from Fiddlehead Brewing Co., and track those sea snails! The Thunderous Wizard, Chumpzilla, and Bling Blake are betting it all with Hoagie at the craps table!

This Week’s Segments:

And, as always, hit us up on Threads, X, Facebook, Bluesky, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids from this week’s episode!