Hops and Box Office Flops

Grab your badge, Kid! It's time to clean up the streets with Dick Tracy!

So, sit back, tease Mumbles with an ice cold Cadence from Reformation Brewery, and never eat oysters with Lips Manlis! The Thunderous Wizard, Chumpzilla, and Bling Blake are shaking down the mob one club at a time!

This Week’s Segments:

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Gemini Man—directed by two-time Best Director winner Ang Lee—is a misguided exercise.

Filmed in a format almost no theaters could play, Lee's insistence on pushing the technological bounds of cinema did little to help the movie. Instead of revving up the frames per second, Lee would've been better served to revise the script.

Full of cliches and tropes, Gemini Man feels like a the retread of a film from the 90s. Considering it came out in 2019, that is not a compliment. Critics were not kind to its plot or the excruciating fully digital version of Will Smith. Turns out the higher the definition, the creepier it looks.

Now, sit back, fight back the CGI tears with a Wrenovation IPA from Wren House Brewing, and don't donate your DNA to Clay Varris! The Thunderous Wizard, Chumpzilla, and Bling Blake are planning to clone a better, less sleepy version of McCheese to hang out with!

This Week’s Segments:

And, as always, hit us up on Threads, X, Facebook, Bluesky, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids from this week’s episode!

Eternals is a noble misfire for the MCU. Directed by winner of the 2021 Best Director Oscar, Chloe Zhao, it attempts to elevate the superhero movie genre.

One problem: It's super boring. Eternals, which rambles on for an excruciating 156 minutes, never finds its footing. Plagued by bland characters and a distinct lack of charm, it is never able to distinguish itself among the sea of Marvel movies.

And bad news for the House of Mouse, Eternals tepid reviews were only half the problem. Those were trumped by its lack of box office bucks. The latter has more than likely doomed these immortal warriors to the catalogue of one and dones.

Now, sit back, stare into the middle distance with a Nordic Jam Lager from Two Pitchers, and put Pip in the drunk tank! The Thunderous Wizard, Chumpzilla, and Bling Blake are riding Deviants across the monochrome sky!

This Week’s Segments:

And, as always, hit us up on Threads, X, Facebook, Bluesky, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids from this week’s episode!

Hook is a wonderfully charming movie about rediscovering the joys of one's youth. That said, critics hated it when it was released in 1991, and its director, Steven Spielberg, isn't all that high on it either. The latter is a little puzzling.

Sure, Hook is too long and gets oddly dark at times, but there is still so much to enjoy. Principally, both Dustin Hoffman as Captain Hook and Robin Williams as Pan all grown up are just having a blast.

Their performances, coupled with imaginative practical effects and the cadre of endearing Lost Boys, make this a return trip to Neverland well worth taking.

Now, sit back, Bangarang with a Free Wave Hazy IPA from Athletic Brewing, and make way for the Thud Ball! The Thunderous Wizard, Chumpzilla, and Bling Blake are trapped in the Boo Box. Help!

This Week’s Segments:

And, as always, hit us up on Threads, X, Facebook, Bluesky, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids from this week’s episode!

Francis Ford Coppola is one of the greatest directors ever. Period. Yet even his resume is not devoid of misfires and flops.

Enter Jack, a dramedy about a 10-year old kid trapped in the body of a grown man. No, this isn't Big. In this 1996 film, the titular kiddo, Jack Powell, ages far faster than his peers.

With that odd condition comes its own set of issues. As one may assume, yes, poor Jack would have a very short lifespan. Therein lies the problems. Not that a family film shouldn't include some moments of seriousness, but Jack generally doesn't balance the whimsy and the melancholy well.

Hence its poor reception from critics. That aside, there is an earnestness to Robin Williams' performance, and the movie does have a few laughs. Are there enough for it to warrant a watch? That probably depends on the individual viewer's tastes.

Now, sit back, age gracefully with a Buenos Tiempos from Belching Beaver Brewing, and save those red Gummy Bears! The Thunderous Wizard, Chumpzilla, and Bling Blake are drunkenly hashing out all our problems with Paulie.

This Week’s Segments:

And, as always, hit us up on Threads, X, Facebook, Bluesky, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids from this week’s episode!

After seven years and 299 episodes, it was only fitting we'd tackle the film that's been a lightning rod with fans—and the hosts of this podcast—since its release in March 2016.

Love it or hate it, Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice remains in the comic book cultural zeitgeist; and it was the first in a chain of events that led to the eventual downfall of the previous iteration of the DCU.

Now, sit back, knuckle up with a Buffalo Nickel from Wren House Brewing, and smuggle all the sweet goods from the White Portuguese! The Thunderous Wizard, Chumpzilla, and Bling Blake are hopping over to Metropolis to drink Lex Luthor dry.

This Week’s Segments:

And, as always, hit us up on Threads, X, Facebook, Bluesky, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids from this week’s episode!

We've mercifully finished the fight! After four grueling pods and six movies, we conclude our Biohazard Flops series with Resident Evil: The Final Chapter.

Frankly, we don't have the energy to attempt to dissect how this made more than $300 million worldwide. We survived, and that's all that matters.

Now, sit back, give in to the T-Virus with a Harvest Zombie from KCBC, and sneak through that goddamn laser hallway again! The Thunderous Wizard, Chumpzilla, and Bling Blake are finding the least annoying clone of Mayor McCheese to hang out with! It's going poorly.

This Week’s Segments:

And, as always, hit us up on Threads, X, Facebook, Bluesky, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids from this week’s episode!

Resident Evil: Retribution carries on the proud tradition of these movies making no sense.

The Red Queen is back, and she's an even bigger bitch; Leon shows up with Barry Burton for reasons; and Wesker is alive — which we knew — but he's defected from Umbrella now.

Things happen, Alice wakes up naked — again — and does backflips — again! And we, the audience, are left to wonder what crime we committed to earn it the penance we're paying.

Now, sit back, sterilize that bite with a Kirkland Lager, and don't get stuck in that Moscow department store! The Thunderous Wizard, Chumpzilla, and Bling Blake are commandeering Umbrella's submarine to get the hell out of this nightmare simulator.

This Week’s Segments:

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Through bites and claw marks, we soldier on in our Resident Evil franchise retrospective by tackling the second pairing of movies — Resident Evil: Extinction and Resident Evil: Afterlife!

Like the T-Virus, the series has mutated to something indescribably heinous, devouring even more money than its first two iterations.

Now, sit back, toast to that infection with a Social Studies Pizza Party from Streetside Brewing, and protect your eyes from the crows! The Thunderous Wizard and Chumpzilla are having far too much fun watching Bling Blake struggle to climb the prop Eiffel Tower.

This Week’s Segments:

And, as always, hit us up on Threads, X, Facebook, Bluesky, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids from this week’s episode!

We come out guns blazing for our look at the Resident Evil film franchise by tackling the first two movies — Resident Evil and Resident Evil Apocalypse!

Now, sit back, search for the truth with a White Rabbit Hazy IPA from Pedal Haus Brewing, and do your best not to die in the Hive! The Thunderous Wizard, Chumpzilla, and Bling Blake are genetically modified ass-kicking machines, and we're on a mission!

This Week’s Segments:

And, as always, hit us up on Threads, X, Facebook, Bluesky, or Instagram to check out all the interesting factoids from this week’s episode!