Horizontal

Horizontal

By Meg Kelly, Mason SmajstrlaComedyLeisure
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Horizontal episodes

  • Thanks For Nothing: A Thanksgiving Special

    This Thanksgiving, Horizontal serves up questionable family traditions, holiday anxiety, and a side of Xanax turkey (the secret to survival). Meg fangirls over creator Jason Rodelo and his chaotic dance crew, then Mason unpacks her mom's dream about the family starving on Thanksgiving. Get horizontal with your favorite gals and join the movement of non-movement! πŸ’–

    29 min
  • One Woman's Trash Is Another Woman's Temu

    This week on Horizontal, Meg and Mason share an astrology chat, revealing Mason's deep-seated anger issues, and they uncover Meg's Hogwarts House (Hufflepuff with Ravenclaw tendencies).

    Next, they break down the viral Temu croissant lamp TikTok πŸ₯βœ¨, take a closer look at Temu shopping trends, and discuss why the site is trashy with a capital T.

    Then, things get spookyβ€”Mason and Meg interpret a listener's dream about guarding a fireplace, only to have a burglar sneak in through the chimney! Finally, they wrap up with an existential conversation about values and doing your best.

    If you're into dream interpretation, astrology insights, or viral TikTok moments, this episode is for you. If not, then I'm sorry. We cannot do anything for you.

    35 min
  • Big Justice And The Rizzler Are Huge With Millennials

    In this episode, Meg and Mason dive into the viral phenomenon of TikTok superstars The Rizzler and Big Justice, unpacking their internet fame and the trends shaping youth culture today. Meg shares a personal dream about being late to the airport, sparking a dream interpretation about anxiety and the symbolism of time. The ladies also discuss staying positive during tough times, finding humor in exhaustion, and navigating life's challenges with optimism. Tune in for a tempting blend of comedy, internet culture, and dream analysis that will keep you giggling and googling. Get horizontal and join the movement of non-movement!

    26 min
  • We Love A Grey Garden

    Happy Halloween! In this spooky episode, Mason and Meg venture into the wonderfully bizarre world of Grey Gardens. Join them in a charming cosplay of Big Edie and Little Edie Beale β€” once-glamorous New York socialites who found themselves living in a crumbling Hamptons mansion. Their eccentric lives inspired not only a cult classic documentary but also a movie, play, and TV sketches. We wrap up with a real gem from Mason and Meg's middle school journal: a poem that, perhaps, should have been left unread.

    25 min
  • Hurricane Hype & A Poem We Wrote in 2007

    In this episode of Horizontal, hosts Meg and Mason dissect the viral social media chaos brought on by Hurricanes Helene and Milton. Then, brace yourselves as they resurrect a middle school poem, "The Bite of the Cold Air," where they reflect on the first cold day of fall with all the angst of a tween discovering seasonal change for the first time. To wrap things up, unwind with a soothing guided visualization where you transform into a mermaid, drifting through calm, serene waters. Tune in for a mix of viral internet culture, fall vibes, and a bit of aquatic escapism.

    23 min
  • Trolling Scammers (feat. Professor Wintin)

    This week we dive into a fun TikTok scam that Meg recently experienced. Then we're joined by renowned computer science Professor Wintin to uncover the depths of the modern social media scam. Later we interpret a listener dream about burning cupcakes and successfully cooking bacon. We'll wrap it up with another classic guided meditation.

    37 min
  • Moo Deng & Pesto Are So Hot Right Now

    Mason and Meg unravel the gripping saga of the internet's most lovable new celebrities β€” Moo Deng the hippo and Pesto the Penguin. Who are they? Why are they famous? And most importantly, WHERE can we buy their merch? Then, we dissect a listener's dream in which the streets of LA inexplicably morph into purple goo. And finally, we take you on a riveting, improvised guided visualization involving a cruise chip, dirty martinis, and a towel sculpture.

    24 min
  • Team Edward vs. Team Jacob, 16 Years Later

    In this episode, we bravely revisit the cinematic masterpiece that is The Twilight Saga. Hosts Mason and Meg engage in a civil but urgent debate: Team Edward vs. Team Jacob. Will their grown-up perspectives add any sense to the chaos that gripped Twilight fans 16 years ago? No.

    Next, they dive into a dream interpretation, tackling a listener's peculiar dream about streets awash with purple goo. To close, the episode offers a relaxing guided meditation to help you unwind after the day's horrors.

    29 min
  • Mormon Wives, Jojo Siwa, And A Dream About Being Robbed

    Settle in as Mason and Meg deliver another riveting episode from the heart of lounge culture. This week, we explore the hottest new Reality TV show The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives. Discover how these women are subtly dismantling the patriarchy, one passive-aggressive Tiktok at a time. Next, we delve into a listener's campfire robbery dream, which teaches us that life's small pleasures are worth appreciating. And finally, we round things off with an impromptu guided meditation. Tune in if you must.

    27 min
  • The Gnome War & Public TikTok Breakups πŸ§™β€β™‚οΈ

    This week Mason and Meg journey down an internet rabbit hole for the books: The Gnome War. Discover how one viral video blossomed into the epic saga of Gnomes vs. Knights. Then, we dive into the most unhinged TikTok breakup where an average Joe publicaly shames his cheating ex-wife. Finally, the hosts interpret two perplexing listener dreams -- one near infidelity and one swept away by a storm. Tune in for humor as arid as the Kalahari, desperately quippy bits, and all things trending. πŸŒͺοΈπŸ’”

    33 min

About Horizontal

From the publisher's feed

Childhood besties, Mason Smajstrla and Meg Kelly, lie down to chat pop-culture trends and interpret your dreams. Join the movement of non-movement! πŸ’–