House Sadness

Boy oh, big boy. The boys are back in town and they are a-rambling. They get things false started with some drunken banter about traffic and then merge on into some “WFM’s.” Then we hear, “145 seconds of the Emmy/Grammy/Oscar/Golden Globe/Faulkner/Peabody/Kid’s Choice Award/MTV Moon Man/Pulitzer Prize winning trailer of Jack and Jill.” Then they dive butt first into some more, “Notepad Rejects,” and they end up naming the episode in a gentlemanly fashion. So steal a school bus, pack it full of the feeble minded and blast this podcast as You, Thelma, and Louise jerk off into infinity.

And it’s another long one. What could the boys possibly spend 30 minutes upfront talking about? The collapse of modern civilization? The melting ice caps? The merits of Chaucer? Well, this is House Sadness, of course, so the boys, naturally, pontificate about the one thing that keeps their hope alive: hotdogs. Once the boys decide to cut it out, they somehow manage to find some more, “WFM’s,” we hear “30 more seconds about that goddamn Nestle ball of wonder,” then someone get showbiz on the line because they’ve blocked our calls, it’s another round of, “Cold Opens.” Then we hear “30 seconds of the gift that never made it under my Christmas tree, the PlayDoh Monster Truck,” then gather around the trash fire as the boys close things out with some tales of debauchery in, “Notecard Secrets.” So grab your notebook, sharpen your number 69 pencil and prepare to write your congressman asking her/him to put this to end. (We really do spend the first 30 minutes talking about hotdogs). (.)(.)

Hi, my name is, what? My name is who? My name is housesadness podcast. We are back with a hot one. The boys kick things out off with some ladies whose love can’t be bought in “WFM’s,” we hear “30 seconds of The Stretch Armstrong Commercial,” then twiddle deez nuts and tweedle cum sing their farts out in “How Does That Song Go?” then we hear “30 seconds of what happens to your brain on drugs,” and after some technical difficulties and reconciling some childhood traumas, these clown clits name the episode. So crank the volume, pull over and rub one out.

Buckle up hot dogs, this is a footlong one. The boys are back with an episode that’s headstrong and will take on anyone. They get things started by diving tongue first into the endless sea of “WMFs,” we hear “30 seconds of Hilary ‘don’t call me gay or late to dinner’ Duff,” then the Korn (like the second best nu metal band) dogs debut a new bit called, “Squeakuels,” in which they pitch their ideas for some much needed sequels, then we hear, “120 seconds of Now That’s What I Call Music Vol 420-9/11-69,” and finally, the pigs in a smallpox blanket name the episode. So butt-chug some hot dog flavored water, dip your tits in some relish or just go ahead and listen to this episode however you dang well please.

The boy’s are back in town and they are bound to let you down, again. They get things farted with some oh, I wonder wonder wonder why these, “WMF’s” not even later at the mall, then we hear “30 seconds of the wonder ball,” followed by, “47 seconds of Knock knock, who’s there? It’s our aforementioned neighbor who finally makes a cameo on this epi-chode,” then we intro-deuce (like #2 ((poop)) ) a new segment called, “Who farted?” followed by “60 seconds of now that’s what music vol. 69,” then we close things out with a dat phan favorite in, “Notepad Rejects,” and then faster than can say,”Howdotheyconintuallyforgettowritetitlesdownaretheyyoungdumbandfullofcumoraretheytootoostupidtodowhatyourcoachtellsyouto?” so cut the cheese and listen to this episode, if you please (kill me).

Oh hot dog, the boys have a chode of an episode for you. They start things off with some “WFM’s” who have seen their hopes and dreams lying on the ground, we hear “30 seconds of: Oh no sir, I must say you’re wrong,” then the chode masters try out a new segment in “All things pass into the night,” hear another “30 seconds of: Won’t you listen to me,” and it must be a Christmas miracle because this episode is named faster than you can say: “Would you f**k me? I’d f**k me. So put the lotion in the basket, grab yourself a hot dog and let this episode fly over you.

The best part of waking up is a new house sadness in your butt. The boys kick things off with some women who will never get them off in “WFM’s” We hear “30 seconds of I learned it from watching you,” you know who you are (Jon Taffer) Then the boys do a supermarket sweep and piece together people’s purchases in a new bit called, “Receipts Taken,” and someone call the police because the boys take a reasonable amount of time in naming the episode. So get your eggs in a basket, grab your hot sauce and let this podcast slide in nice and easy into your (r)ear-holes.

The boys are back and drinking cyanide from a red solo cup. They discuss some more lovely ladies who are “WFM’s,” unphased by truck nuts. We hear “120 seconds of the Citizen Kane-9 of animals playing sports movies, Air Bud,” hear a new bit called “Fortune Fellers,” and then get lectured for 30 seconds by a talking dog about the dangers of drugs, fucking narc, and they close it out with some more “How Does that Song Go?” Will the boys finally figure the name of a song or will they continue this endless spiral of disappointing their families? Tune and find out……………………… the answers exactly what you think it is.

Orange you glad the boys are back for another episode? Me neither, but there is no god. They discuss some more lovely ladies who are for sure, “WFM’s,” I double checked. We hear “30 seconds of the one man laugh track Jimmy Fallon.” Then the boy’s get into, “From First to Last,” when they travel down to O-Town and discuss their first and most recent liquid dreams. Then the meaningless ramble of these two dipshits leads to a title more meaningless than existence itself. So grab your headphones, wrap them around your neck, and banana.

Boy, oh Boy George. The boys are back and cummin, cummin, cummin, cummin, cummin, cummin, chemleons. They discuss some more lovely ladies who are “WFM’s with a ten foot pole, hear “30 Seconds of…” Mac from it’s always sunny and a fuguees and funyun’s enthusiast, then reveal some more secret, secret, I got a notepad secret, this episode will make you wanna one, two: buckle your shoe, three, four: shut the screen door, five, six: pick up Styx, seven, eight: they ain’t straight, nine, ten: set yourself on fire, again, so throw on your headphones and make yourself a mimi screwdriver.