Many people who are asked to identify their “true self” (apart from their specific beliefs and behaviors) draw a complete blank. This sense of shame-spiraling after being asked to talk coherently about our sense of identity is even more pronounced for those of us who identify with symptoms and traits of various mental health "disorder" or "dysfunction" labels. Being true to yourself requires that your whole Self be “whole” – or “integrated.” In this episode, we’ll dive into how much of what makes our lives miserable (people-pleasing, staying in toxic relationships, self-sabotaging behaviors, and coping styles) is because we are out of touch with what makes us feel whole. In these moments, our defensive emotions and reactive impulses overrule our Higher Selves. In these moments, we are living out of integrity.

Questions answered and topics discussed in this episode:

■ Why practical skills and therapy might feel like they’re not “working” if you’re living out of integrity

■ How and why we compromise our integrity

■ How the word ‘integrity’ is intimately related to the psychological concept of ‘integration’

■ History of internal family systems therapy and how it relates to the concepts of integrity and integration

■ Understanding how our different “parts” try their best to protect us from psychological/emotional pain but end instead causing mental health problems and compulsive/maladaptive behaviors

■ Understanding and accepting our caretakers as flawed humans who were disconnected from their “inner conductors” and letting their disowned parts rule the show

■ How we externalize old feelings of inadequacy, abandonment and worthlessness and project them onto our partners and friends in adulthood

Recommended and referenced resources:

Book - The Way of Integrity: Finding the Path to You True Self by Martha Beck

Article - How & Why You Compromise Your Integrity

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Disclaimer: The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.

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