Erica judges other people by default. Whether they are acquaintances, co-workers, or new arrivals in a club, her first impression is often negative. "I would like to learn how to quash that part of myself," she says, because those judgments might be ruling out potential friendships. On this episode of How To!, Courtney Martin brings on Dr. Terri Apter, psychologist and author of Passing Judgment: The Power of Praise & Blame in Everyday Life. Terri explains that Erica's initial reactions are more useful than she thinks—and can help her better understand herself.

If you liked this episode check out: How To Say What You're Thinking

Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at [email protected] or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen.

How To's executive producer is Derek John. Joel Meyer is our senior editor/producer. The show is produced by Rosemary Belson, with Kevin Bendis and Sara McCrea.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.