Lily wants to have satisfying sex that plays to her core desires, but lately it’s been hard to describe to potential partners exactly what she wants. On this episode of How To!, Carvell Wallace brings on Dr. Danielle Harel and Celeste Hirschman—sexologists, authors, and the founders of the Somatica Institute. They coach Lily (and all of us) on how to define the individual experiences we’re seeking—and communicate them to others.

If you liked this episode check out: 

How To Have the Best Sex of Your Life

How To Make Sexual Consent Sexy

How To Orgasm

How To Lose Your ‘Virginity’ at 43

How To Have an Open Relationship

Also: Death, Sex & Money’s Sex Parties and Shakespeare With Carvell Wallace

Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at [email protected] or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen.

The show is produced by Rosemary Belson, with Kevin Bendis. Our technical director is Merritt Jacob and our supervising producer is Joel Meyer.

Want more How To!? Subscribe to Slate Plus to unlock exclusive bonus episodes. Plus, you’ll access ad-free listening across all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe now on Apple Podcasts by clicking “Try Free” at the top of the How To! show page. Or, visit slate.com/howtoplus to get access wherever you listen.

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Are you stuck in a hair rut? On this episode of How To!, Courtney Martin brings on Alana Lucia Balestrino, hairstylist, barber, and founder of the Brooklyn-based studio Baddies. Alana explains how to work with a stylist or barber to get a haircut you love. 

If you liked this episode check out: How To Dress with Confidence. Also: Decoder Ring’s Mystery of the Mullet. 

Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at [email protected] or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen.

The show is produced by Rosemary Belson, with Kevin Bendis. Our technical director is Merritt Jacob and our supervising producer is Joel Meyer.

Want more How To!? Subscribe to Slate Plus to unlock exclusive bonus episodes. Plus, you’ll access ad-free listening across all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe now on Apple Podcasts by clicking “Try Free” at the top of the How To! show page. Or, visit slate.com/howtoplus to get access wherever you listen.

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At least 10 percent of parents in the U.S. are disabled, but Andrea can’t seem to find parenting advice on disability and accessibility. On this episode of How To!, Carvell Wallace brings on Jessica Slice, author of the new book Unfit Parent: A Disabled Mother Challenges an Inaccessible World, to help Andrea reimagine parenthood. 

If you liked this episode check out: How To Date With a Disability and How To Become a Parent Overnight. 

Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at [email protected] or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen.

The show is produced by Rosemary Belson, with Kevin Bendis. Our technical director is Merritt Jacob and our supervising producer is Joel Meyer.

Want more How To!? Subscribe to Slate Plus to unlock exclusive bonus episodes. Plus, you’ll access ad-free listening across all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe now on Apple Podcasts by clicking “Try Free” at the top of the How To! show page. Or, visit slate.com/howtoplus to get access wherever you listen.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Our series Living at Odds concludes with a special episode of Slate’s Death, Sex & Money. Host Anna Sale returns to her native West Virginia to talk with the state’s only full-time lobbyist for LGBTQ rights. Andrew Schneider of Fairness West Virginia has spent years cultivating working relationships with conservative allies in state and local government. Aided by those relationships, Andrew helped pass 20 local anti-discrimination ordinances across the conservative-leaning state. Now, those policy victories—and Andrew’s alliances—are facing dire challenges in an increasingly hostile political landscape.

Plus: How To!’s Courtney Martin looks back at Living at Odds, a series about what holds us together when so much threatens to break us apart.

If you enjoyed this series, check out: How To Get Things Done in a Divided Nation with Samantha Power or How To Harness Your Citizen Superpowers. 

Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at [email protected] or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen.

This episode was produced by Anna Sale, with the Death, Sex & Money team: Zoe Azulay, Cameron Drews, Andrew Dunn, and Daisy Rosario. This series was produced by Maura Currie and Rosie Belson. How To’s technical director is Merritt Jacob and our supervising producer is Joel Meyer.

Special thanks to The Hearthland Foundation, which provided funding for Living at Odds.

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In the third installment of our series Living at Odds, How To!’s Courtney Martin examines what it’s like being in conflict with your family history. She talks with ancestors of the famous names in Plessy v. Ferguson, the Supreme Court decision that affirmed racial segregation in the U.S. as “separate but equal.” Later, researcher Kellie Farrish explains how reparative genealogy can unlock family history that’s been lost or erased—and bring together descendants of enslaved people and their enslavers into conversations about the past, present, and future.

If you’re enjoying Living at Odds, check out this How To! episode: How To ‘Do the Work’ of Racial Justice. 

Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at [email protected] or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen.

This episode was produced by Maura Currie and Rosie Belson. Our technical director is Merritt Jacob, who composed original music for this series. Our supervising producer is Joel Meyer. Thank you to Dahlia Lithwick of Amicus and Sophie Summergrad for their help with this episode.

Special thanks to The Hearthland Foundation, which provided funding for Living at Odds.

Want more How To!? Subscribe to Slate Plus to unlock exclusive bonus episodes. Plus, you’ll access ad-free listening across all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe now on Apple Podcasts by clicking “Try Free” at the top of the How To! show page. Or, visit slate.com/howtoplus to get access wherever you listen.

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In the second installment of our series Living at Odds, former How To! host Amanda Ripley returns to talk with two public school officials in Tulsa, Oklahoma, who found themselves at loggerheads upon their very first meeting. Deborah and Stacey’s difficult working relationship continued until COVID-19 sparked some solidarity—and the two began to learn more about each other. Later, Stacey would find herself defending the colleague she once wanted to oust.

If you’re enjoying Living at Odds, check out these How To! episodes: How To Build Trust With Co-Workers and How To Help Teachers Thrive. Also check out Good Conflict for additional resources. 

Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at [email protected] or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen.

This episode was produced by Rosie Belson and Maura Currie. Our technical director is Merritt Jacob, who composed original music for this series. Our supervising producer is Joel Meyer. Thank you to Sophie Summergrad for her help with this episode.

Special thanks to The Hearthland Foundation, which provided funding for Living at Odds.

Want more How To!? Subscribe to Slate Plus to unlock exclusive bonus episodes. Plus, you’ll access ad-free listening across all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe now on Apple Podcasts by clicking “Try Free” at the top of the How To! show page. Or, visit slate.com/howtoplus to get access wherever you listen.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Living at Odds is a new How To! series about what’s holding us together when so much threatens to break us apart. In our first episode, host Courtney Martin talks with two street vendors who operated rivaling merch tents at the same busy intersection during the 2024 election. Steve hawked MAGA caps and Trump-branded pool floaties just a few feet away from Sandra, who sweetened her sales of Harris-Walz campaign shirts with free “Kamala candy.” After so many weeks on the same street corner, the pair negotiated an easy friendship—and even talked about politics. Then came Election Day.  

If you’re enjoying Living at Odds, check out these How To! episodes: How To Run for Office Without Being an A**hole and How To Talk Politics With Your Dad (Without Yelling) Pt 1

Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at [email protected] or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen.

This episode was produced by Maura Currie and Rosie Belson. Our technical director is Merritt Jacob and our supervising producer is Joel Meyer. Thank you to Sophie Summergrad for her help with this episode.

Special thanks to The Hearthland Foundation, which provided funding for this series.

Want more How To!? Subscribe to Slate Plus to unlock exclusive bonus episodes. Plus, you’ll access ad-free listening across all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe now on Apple Podcasts by clicking “Try Free” at the top of the How To! show page. Or, visit slate.com/howtoplus to get access wherever you listen.

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Tesla owners are dumping their vehicles in protest of CEO Elon Musk—and driving down resale prices. On this episode of How To!, Courtney Martin talks with two soon-to-be-former owners—and with Patrick George, editor-in-chief of InsideEVs and co-host of the Plugged-In podcast. Patrick helps them figure out how to sell their Model Ys and find a ride that aligns with their practical and ideological needs. 

If you liked this episode check out: How To Cope With Climate Anxiety

Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at [email protected] or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen.

The show is produced by Rosemary Belson, with Kevin Bendis. Our technical director is Merritt Jacob and our supervising producer is Joel Meyer.

Want more How To!? Subscribe to Slate Plus to unlock exclusive bonus episodes. Plus, you’ll access ad-free listening across all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe now on Apple Podcasts by clicking “Try Free” at the top of the How To! show page. Or, visit slate.com/howtoplus to get access wherever you listen.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

To some, the act of writing a memoir might seem daunting, invasive, or navel-gazing. But excavating memories, noticing patterns, and revisiting events from other points of view can lead to healing—regardless of whether your work gets published.

On this episode of How To!, Carvell Wallace brings on Melissa Febos. Melissa is the bestselling author of five books, including Girlhood—winner of the National Book Critics Circle Award in Criticism—and a forthcoming memoir, The Dry Season. She teaches us how to create our own narrative in ways that are safe for you and empathetic of others. 

If you liked this episode check out: Carvell Wallace on Another Word for Love, How To Start Writing (with Anna Quindlen and John Dickerson), and How To Get Your Book Published

Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at [email protected] or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen.

The show is produced by Rosemary Belson, with Kevin Bendis. Our technical director is Merritt Jacob and our supervising producer is Joel Meyer.

Want more How To!? Subscribe to Slate Plus to unlock exclusive bonus episodes. Plus, you’ll access ad-free listening across all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe now on Apple Podcasts by clicking “Try Free” at the top of the How To! show page. Or, visit slate.com/howtoplus to get access wherever you listen.

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Music streaming services like Spotify offer huge libraries of songs and albums—with recommendation engines that can feel unadventurous and repetitive. On this episode of How To!, Carvell Wallace welcomes online tastemaker and podcast host Derrick Gee to discuss the shortcomings of music streaming algorithms. And, they sit down with R.J. and Brie—two music fans from different generations—to offer up tips for finding hidden gems and obscure jams that might reinvigorate your own music-seeking journey.

Recommendations from this episode:

Internet radio: KEXP (Seattle), KALX (UC-Berkeley), NTS Radio (UK), and KVRX, “None of the Hits, All of the Time” (Austin, Texas)

Podcasts and online features: Speaks Volumes With Derrick Gee, Bandsplain, NPR’s Song of the Day

Derrick G’s playlists at derrickgee.com.

If you liked this episode check out How To Write the Perfect Breakup Song (with special guest Ben Folds). 

Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at [email protected] or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen.

Want more How To!? Subscribe to Slate Plus to unlock exclusive bonus episodes. Plus, you’ll access ad-free listening across all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe now on Apple Podcasts by clicking “Try Free” at the top of the How To! show page. Or, visit slate.com/howtoplus to get access wherever you listen.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices