How To!

Todd is looking for love, but he’s unsure about disclosing something in dating profiles: his multiple sclerosis. With symptoms that are increasingly visible, Todd feels compelled to be upfront about his disability with potential dates—but he doesn’t know when or how to discuss it. On this episode of How To!, Carvell Wallace brings on Jessica Slice and Caroline Cupp, authors of Dateable: Swiping Right, Hooking Up, and Settling Down While Chronically Ill and Disabled. They give Todd guidance on having that talk, navigating ableism, and managing his own internal expectations.  

If you liked this episode check out: How To Flirt With Confidence

Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at [email protected] or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen.

How To’s executive producer is Derek John. Joel Meyer is our senior editor/producer. The show is produced by Rosemary Belson, with Kevin Bendis and Sara McCrae.

Slate Plus members get bonus segments and ad-free podcast feeds. Sign up now at slate.com/howtoplus.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Shirley Showalter and Marilyn McEntyre know that grandparenting is more than just cookies and Play-Doh. Don’t get us wrong, those things are fun! But the art of contemporary grandparenting requires mindfulness, intentionality, and navigating boundaries. On today’s episode, Courtney Martin talks with Marilyn and Shirley about their book, The Mindful Grandparent, and the wisdom they’ve gained as elders to 12 grandchildren. 

If you liked this episode check out: How To Face Your Kid’s Future

Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at [email protected] or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen.

How To’s executive producer is Derek John. Joel Meyer is our senior editor/producer. The show is produced by Rosemary Belson, with Kevin Bendis and Sara McCrea. 

Slate Plus members get bonus segments and ad-free podcast feeds. Sign up now at slate.com/howtoplus.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Trisha is craving a break from her job, but she doesn’t want to drain her bank account. On today’s episode, Courtney Martin connects Trisha to DJ DiDonna, founder of The Sabbatical Project, who’s on a quest to make extended breaks accessible to all. DJ explains how to plan for a sabbatical that is both meaningful and manageable. 

If you liked this episode check out: How To Hit “Reset” On Your Career

Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at [email protected] or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen.

How To’s executive producer is Derek John. Joel Meyer is our senior editor/producer. The show is produced by Rosemary Belson, with Kevin Bendis and Sara McCrea. 

Slate Plus members get bonus segments and ad-free podcast feeds. Sign up now at slate.com/howtoplus.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

David was in the ocean in Hawaii when the unthinkable happened—a shark attacked him and bit off his leg. “I don’t think you’re gonna make it,” a medic told the 25-year-old on the helicopter ride to the hospital. But David did make it, and soon he learned that surviving the shark wasn’t the hardest part—it was what came after. On this episode of How To!, we bring in Dr. Bessel van der Kolk, psychiatrist and author of The Body Keeps the Score, to help David understand and deal with the lasting psychological trauma of the attack. For anyone suffering from severe trauma, Bessel says, it’s okay to grieve the person you were before. Accepting the loss of the “old you” will allow you to better embrace who you are now, both in your mind and body. 

Do you need help overcoming life’s many challenges? Send us a note at [email protected] or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show.

Slate Plus members get bonus segments and ad-free podcast feeds. Sign up now.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

How To!’s senior editor Joel Meyer recently experienced a yard sale fail and wants to know what went wrong. He spent hours planning and organizing the items on his lawn, but when it was all said and done he barely made enough to cover the cost of lunch. Enter this week’s expert, Ava Seavey, a self-described master of garage-sale-ology and author of Ava’s Guide to Garage Sale Gold. Seavey tells host Courtney Martin some hilarious stories and insider tips for how to cash in on all your old stuff.

If you liked this episode, check out “How To Find the Gems in All Your Junk”

Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at [email protected] or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen.

Podcast production by Derek John, Joel Meyer, Rosemary Belson, and Kevin Bendis.

Slate Plus members get bonus segments and ad-free podcast feeds. Sign up now at slate.com/howtoplus.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Meg once was a terror in the world of roller derby. But these days, her sedentary lifestyle is making everyday physical activities a tad daunting. (We’re looking at you, groceries that need to be carried up four flights of stairs!). She wants to start lifting weights, but she’s unsure where to start—and whether she can avoid the bro-culture of many weight rooms. On this episode of How To!: Courtney Martin brings in writer and powerlifter Mikala Jamison, who was in Meg’s shoes not that long ago. She shares how she got started, why lifting is a lifelong journey, and what we can learn from the current zeitgeist for women’s strength training.

Resources mentioned: 

Mikala’s Substack, Body Type 

Book with simple lifting guide

Fitness trainer Meg Gallagher on Instagram

If you liked this episode check out: How To Be Free Of Body Shame or How To Stick to Your New Year’s Resolutions

Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at [email protected] or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen.

How To’s executive producer is Derek John. Joel Meyer is our senior editor/producer. The show is produced by Rosemary Belson and Kevin Bendis. 

Slate Plus members get bonus segments and ad-free podcast feeds. Sign up now at slate.com/howtoplus.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

After Lin met Dave, their lives quickly became entangled. Lin joined Dave’s small business, made much-needed improvements, and charmed Dave’s family. The two also began a romantic relationship that lasted years. When it fizzled, Lin continued working at the company—and eventually uncovered Dave’s lies, deceit, and infidelity. On this episode of How To!: Carvell Wallace welcomes Nina Renata Aron, author of Good Morning, Destroyer of Men’s Souls, to share her own experience exiting a toxic, codependent relationship and explain how she came to terms with it.

If you liked this episode check out: How To Do Divorce Right and How To Forgive Someone Who Isn’t Sorry

Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at [email protected] or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen.

How To’s executive producer is Derek John. Joel Meyer is our senior editor/producer. The show is produced by Rosemary Belson and Kevin Bendis. 

Slate Plus members get bonus segments and ad-free podcast feeds. Sign up now at slate.com/howtoplus.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Paula has a big family, lots of friends, and a girlfriend she adores. For most of her life, however, she has experienced an underlying and unshakeable sense of loneliness. On this episode of How To!, Courtney Martin brings on Kristen Radtke, the writer and illustrator behind Seek You: A Journey Through American Loneliness, to talk with Paula about an emotion that’s hard to talk about—and even harder to confront.

If you liked this episode, check out How To Find Your People and How To Survive a Silent Retreat. 

Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at [email protected] or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen.

How To! is produced by Rosemary Belson, with Kevin Bendis. Joel Meyer is our senior editor/producer. Derek John is our executive producer. 

Slate Plus members get bonus segments and ad-free podcast feeds. Sign up now at slate.com/howtoplus.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Leo is a high-achieving high school senior on the cusp of graduation. Growing up in a rigorous school environment he faced endless pressure to follow the expected track of attending an elite university and eventually securing a good job. Yet, Leo feels slightly unfulfilled and is curious what an alternative path might look like. On this episode of How To!, Carvell Wallace is joined by Abby Falik, founder of the The Flight School, and organization dedicate to helping students and parents rethink and reshape their education. Abby shares her insights and experience guiding students through gap years so they find their own way.

If you liked this episode check out: "How To Parent Less"

Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at [email protected] or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen.

How To’s executive producer is Derek John. Joel Meyer is our senior editor/producer. The show is produced by Rosemary Belson and Kevin Bendis. 

Slate Plus members get bonus segments and ad-free podcast feeds. Sign up now at slate.com/howtoplus.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The trouble began when Sarah put a fern in front of her new condo. Nice, right? The woman who lives in the unit above didn’t think so, and without warning sent Sarah a slew of passive-aggressive notes. Sarah thinks it’s all a big misunderstanding, but now her neighbor refuses to even speak to her. Sarah is wracked with anxiety, struggling to sleep, and contemplating moving out. On this episode of How To!, we turn to stand-up comedian Tig Notaro, a cancer survivor and host of the new advice podcast Don’t Ask Tig, to help Sarah approach the situation with humor and clarity. When things don’t go your way, Tig says, you have to take back control of your own story. What would the hero in your favorite movie do? For Sarah, this means gardening with headphones and the Rocky theme on the soundtrack. 

Do you have a problem that could use some humorous advice? Send us a note at [email protected] or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen.

If you liked this episode, check out “How To Talk to Strangers.”

Slate Plus members get bonus segments and ad-free podcast feeds. Sign up now.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices