How To! with Charles Duhigg

Avalon is driven, creative, and… can't meet a deadline to save her life. In her defense, she's a card-carrying member of the gig economy, juggling a complicated schedule as a DJ and visual artist. Avalon's tried to organize her life using a bullet journal, but procrastination keeps getting in the way of her career pursuits. On this episode of How To!, the second in a two-part series on time management, we talk to Christopher Cox, author of The Deadline Effect: How To Work Like It's the Last Minute Before the Last Minute. He explains why concrete deadlines, the shorter the better, can actually help Avalon's creativity. And he gives all of us tips on how to set the perfect deadline—and never miss it.

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Victor's job—at its core—is to change the world. But he feels like he's plateaued within his large humanitarian and development organization, and is now on the verge of jumping ship. On this episode of How To!, Annie Duke, author of Quit: The Power Of Knowing When to Walk Away, helps Victor decide if he should recommit to his current job or move on to something else. She explains the cognitive biases that prevent us from quitting and reveals why most of us quit things far too late.

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The trouble began when Sarah put a fern in front of her new condo. Nice, right? The woman who lives in the unit above didn't think so, and without warning sent Sarah a slew of passive-aggressive notes. Sarah thinks it's all a big misunderstanding, but now her neighbor refuses to even speak to her. Sarah is wracked with anxiety, struggling to sleep, and contemplating moving out. On this episode of How To!, we turn to stand-up comedian Tig Notaro, a cancer survivor and host of the new advice podcast Don't Ask Tig, to help Sarah approach the situation with humor and clarity. When things don't go your way, Tig says, you have to take back control of your own story. What would the hero in your favorite movie do? For Sarah, this means gardening with headphones and the Rocky theme on the soundtrack.

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In 2025, our listeners contacted How To! for advice about outsmarting student loans, moving to a new city, hosting a low-key gathering, living with chronic pain, quitting a dream job, letting go of ADHD shame, and yes, losing your virginity in your 40s. Today on the show: Carvell Wallace and Courtney Martin get updates from some of those advice-seekers—and they check in with Jeff, whose family narrowly escaped an L.A. wildfire this year. Plus, what's ahead for How To! in 2026.

How To! is produced by Rosemary Belson and Sophie Summergrad. Our technical director is Merritt Jacob and our senior supervising producer is Joel Meyer.

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Tired of being the project manager for date night? On this bonus episode of How To!, Jackie Kelley explains how to make logistics equitable and easy—so your partner can help. Plus: a tip for quickly finding restaurants when date night is spontaneous.

Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at [email protected] or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen.

The show is produced by Rosemary Belson and Sophie Summergrad. Our technical director is Merritt Jacob and our supervising producer is Joel Meyer.

This episode is for Slate Plus members. Join now to unlock it—plus other exclusive How To! bonus episodes and ad-free listening across all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe from the How To! show page on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Or, visit slate.com/howtoplus for access wherever you listen.

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Cohabitation can be bliss—except when it comes to your partner's incompatible approach to household tasks. Bonnie likes things clean, organized, and prompt. Vince, on the other hand, is a classic procrastinator. On this episode of How To!, Carvell Wallace brings on self-described "human glitterbomb" Jackie Kelley to offer up some practical "marriage rules" designed to improve everyday communication with the love of your life.

If you liked this episode check out:

• How To Build a Marriage That Lasts

• How To Have a Fight That Actually Helps Your Relationship

• How To Save Your Marriage

Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at [email protected] or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen.

The show is produced by Rosemary Belson and Sophie Summergrad. Our technical director is Merritt Jacob and our supervising producer is Joel Meyer.

This episode is for Slate Plus members. Join now to unlock it—plus other exclusive How To! bonus episodes and ad-free listening across all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe from the How To! show page on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Or, visit slate.com/howtoplus for access wherever you listen.

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In this bonus episode, Dr. Ingrid Clayton discusses another aspect of everyday life where fawning can show up and take over: sex. Ingrid tells How To!'s Courtney Martin about the ways we lose ourselves during sex—and how we can reconnect with our needs.

How To!'s Quick Fix is produced by Rosemary Belson and Sophie Summergrad. Our technical director is Merritt Jacob and our supervising producer is Joel Meyer.

This episode is member-exclusive. Listen to it now by subscribing to Slate Plus. By joining, not only will you unlock this episode—you'll also access ad-free listening across all your favorite Slate podcasts. Visit slate.com/howtoplus to get access wherever you listen.

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When clinical psychologist, trauma therapist, and complex trauma survivor Dr. Ingrid Clayton learned about fawning — the fourth "F" after fight, flight, and freeze — she felt like this was the missing piece that explained her whole life. On this episode of How To!, Ingrid talks to Courtney Martin about what can happen when you find yourself in a chronic fawning response, and how to break free.

Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at [email protected] or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen.

The show is produced by Rosemary Belson and Sophie Summergrad. Our technical director is Merritt Jacob and our supervising producer is Joel Meyer.

This episode is for Slate Plus members. Join now to unlock it—plus other exclusive How To! bonus episodes and ad-free listening across all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe from the How To! show page on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Or, visit slate.com/howtoplus for access wherever you listen.

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Slate staff writer Rebecca Onion wants to improve her singing voice, but she's unsure about belting it out in public. On this episode, How To!'s Carvell Wallace introduces her to G. Phillip Shoultz III, associate director of VocalEssence, for advice on strengthening her voice, performing with confidence, and (gasp!) auditioning for a vocal group.

If you liked this episode check out How To Write the Perfect Breakup Song With Ben Folds.

Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at [email protected] or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen.

The show is produced by Rosemary Belson and Sophie Summergrad. Our technical director is Merritt Jacob and our supervising producer is Joel Meyer.

This episode is for Slate Plus members. Join now to unlock it—plus other exclusive How To! bonus episodes and ad-free listening across all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe from the How To! show page on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Or, visit slate.com/howtoplus for access wherever you listen.

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With the year-end giving season underway, you might be wondering how much to donate and where you can make the biggest impact. On this Giving Tuesday, How To!'s Courtney Martin brings on Grace Chiang Nicolette of the Center for Effective Philanthropy to explain how to pick the right organizations and ensure your dollar goes as far as possible—regardless of how much you're giving.

You can hear more of Grace on her podcast, Giving Done Right. If you liked this episode, check out How To Harness Your Citizen Superpowers and How To Lead Your Local Nonprofit.

Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at [email protected] or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen.

The show is produced by Rosemary Belson and Sophie Summergrad. Our technical director is Merritt Jacob and our supervising producer is Joel Meyer.

This episode is for Slate Plus members. Join now to unlock it—plus other exclusive How To! bonus episodes and ad-free listening across all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe from the How To! show page on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Or, visit slate.com/howtoplus for access wherever you listen.

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