How To! with Charles Duhigg

Contemporary women are primal-screaming and hitting rage rooms, but are these really the solutions to our personal and political anger? On this episode of How To!, Courtney Martin talks with Soraya Chemaly, journalist and author of Rage Becomes Her: The Power of Women's Anger, about her own recent upsurge of anger. Soraya explains how to identify, understand, and harness what's bottled up inside you—and use it for change.

If you liked this episode check out How To Make Imposter Syndrome Your Superpower and How To Be Lonely.

Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at [email protected] or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen.

The show is produced by Rosemary Belson, with Sophie Summergrad. Our technical director is Merritt Jacob and our supervising producer is Joel Meyer.

This episode is for Slate Plus members. Join now to unlock it—plus other exclusive How To! bonus episodes and ad-free listening across all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe from the How To! show page on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Or, visit slate.com/howtoplus for access wherever you listen.

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In this special bonus episode, youth mentor Ashanti Branch talks with our listener Jen about her son's early observation about his skin color—and how to sustain conversations with young kids about race and identity.

If you liked this episode check out: How To 'Do the Work' of Racial Justice

Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at [email protected] or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen.

The show is produced by Rosemary Belson, with Kevin Bendis and Sophie Summergrad. Our technical director is Merritt Jacob and our supervising producer is Joel Meyer.

This episode is for Slate Plus members. Join now to unlock it—plus other exclusive How To! bonus episodes and ad-free listening across all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe from the How To! show page on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Or, visit slate.com/howtoplus for access wherever you listen.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Jen is raising a pretty stellar 9-year-old son. With his tween and teen years on the horizon, she wants to steer him toward kindness, acceptance, and openness—and away from the pitfalls of toxic masculinity. On this episode, How To!'s Carvell Wallace brings on Ashanti Branch, founder of The Ever Forward Club and host of unMASKing with Male Educators. Ashanti offers his advice on talking with boys about their emotions, understanding the "mask" that young men present to the world, and building trust and confidence—by acknowledging that adults don't have all the answers.

If you liked this episode check out: How To Parent Less and How To Make Friends … Like a Man

Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at [email protected] or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen.

The show is produced by Rosemary Belson, with Kevin Bendis and Sophie Summergrad. Our technical director is Merritt Jacob and our supervising producer is Joel Meyer.

This episode is for Slate Plus members. Join now to unlock it—plus other exclusive How To! bonus episodes and ad-free listening across all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe from the How To! show page on ⁠Apple Podcasts⁠ or ⁠Spotify⁠. Or, visit ⁠slate.com/howtoplus⁠ for access wherever you listen.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

After seven years of trying to conceive, Lauren is ending fertility treatments and starting a new journey: adoption. She's excited about this unexpected detour into parenthood—but she's also grieving the loss of something deeply personal that she desired for so long. On this episode: How To!'s Courtney Martin brings on Ada Limón, author of the new book Startlement and the current U.S. poet laureate. Ada offers Lauren guidance on finding strength and joy in this unplanned chapter of her life—and on rethinking our own expectations for our bodies and our lives.

If you liked this episode check out How To Become a Parent Overnight and How To Build a Marriage That Lasts.

Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at [email protected] or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen.

The show is produced by Rosemary Belson, with Kevin Bendis and Sophie Summergrad. Our technical director is Merritt Jacob and our supervising producer is Joel Meyer.

This episode is for Slate Plus members. Join now to unlock it—plus other exclusive How To! bonus episodes and ad-free listening across all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe from the How To! show page on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Or, visit slate.com/howtoplus for access wherever you listen.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

In our latest mailbag episode, Courtney and Carvell had so much to say about books that we're bringing you even more in this Quick Fix bonus chat about audiobooks, cozy mysteries, and romance novels.

Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at [email protected] or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen.

The show is produced by Rosemary Belson, with Kevin Bendis. Our technical director is Merritt Jacob and our supervising producer is Joel Meyer.

This episode is for Slate Plus members. Join now to unlock it—plus other exclusive How To! bonus episodes and ad-free listening across all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe from the How To! show page on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Or, visit slate.com/howtoplus for access wherever you listen.

This episode is for Slate Plus members. Join now to unlock it—plus other exclusive How To! bonus episodes and ad-free listening across all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe from the How To! show page on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Or, visit slate.com/howtoplus for access wherever you listen.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

In this mailbag episode of How To!, we get an update from Elizabeth, the 43-year-old listener who contacted us for advice on her plan to have sex for the first time. Then, co-hosts Courtney Martin and Carvell Wallace get listeners' takes on our most talked-about episodes of the year—and the staff holds an impromptu idea meeting for upcoming episodes.

Links Mentioned:

My Old Books

Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at [email protected] or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen.

The show is produced by Rosemary Belson, with Kevin Bendis and Sophie Summergrad. Our technical director is Merritt Jacob and our supervising producer is Joel Meyer.

This episode is for Slate Plus members. Join now to unlock it—plus other exclusive How To! bonus episodes and ad-free listening across all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe from the How To! show page on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Or, visit slate.com/howtoplus for access wherever you listen.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Two days after his experience with hypnosis, Carvell answers his How To! coworkers' burning questions: What does he remember (and not remember)? Does he feel any different? And most important: Would he do it again?

Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at [email protected] or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen.

How To! is produced by Rosie Belson, with Kevin Bendis and Sophie Summergrad, who produced this Quick Fix episode. Our technical director is Merritt Jacob and our supervising producer is Joel Meyer.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Much of our common understanding of hypnosis has been gleaned from mind-control plots in Hollywood movies or hokey on-stage demonstrations. On this episode of How To!, Carvell Wallace brings on Stanford University psychiatrist and researcher Dr. David Spiegel to talk about what hypnosis is (and isn't), as well as its potential to address stress, pain, and even athletic performance. Plus, with Carvell wrestling with an ongoing major project, Dr. Spiegel tests our host's hypnotizability—then leads him through an exercise aimed at confronting procrastination.

Learn more about Dr. Spiegel and his self-hypnosis app, Reveri. If you liked this episode, check out How To Stop Being Anxious and How To Quiet the Chatter in Your Head.

Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at [email protected] or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen.

How To! is produced by Rosie Belson, with Kevin Bendis and Sophie Summergrad, who produced this episode. Our technical director is Merritt Jacob and our supervising producer is Joel Meyer.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Vanessa Zoltan's decision to enroll at Harvard Divinity School as an avowed atheist might seem unusual—at first. In this Quick Fix bonus episode for Slate Plus members, Zoltan talks with Carvell Wallace about becoming an atheist chaplain and why operating outside of organized religion helps her connect with people in times of need, regardless of what they believe.

Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at [email protected] or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen.

The show is produced by Rosemary Belson, with Kevin Bendis and Sophie Summergrad. Our technical director is Merritt Jacob and our supervising producer is Joel Meyer.

This episode is for Slate Plus members. Join now to unlock it—plus other exclusive How To! bonus episodes and ad-free listening across all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe from the How To! show page on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Or, visit slate.com/howtoplus for access wherever you listen.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Alice has an objectively cool job. She programs film festivals and gets to watch documentaries for a living. But that living is also stressful: It's low-paying, seasonal work that provides some status, sure, but not much stability. On this episode of How To!, Carvell Wallace brings on atheist chaplain and author Vanessa Zoltan, who spent two years helping countless people decide whether to quit (or not) on her podcast The Real Question. Vanessa shares what she learned from those conversations—and helps Alice figure out how to reimagine her life (with job security).

If you liked this episode check out How To Switch Careers in Midlife, How To Take a Sabbatical, and How To Know When to Quit Your Job.

Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at [email protected] or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen.

The show is produced by Rosemary Belson, with Kevin Bendis and Sophie Summergrad. Our technical director is Merritt Jacob and our supervising producer is Joel Meyer.

This episode is for Slate Plus members. Join now to unlock it—plus other exclusive How To! bonus episodes and ad-free listening across all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe from the How To! show page on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Or, visit slate.com/howtoplus for access wherever you listen.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.