How To! with Charles Duhigg

When was the last time you said more than "hello" to your neighbors? On this installment of How To!'s Quick Fix, Katherine Goldstein shares advice from her How To Find Your People Club project and helps us break the ice with bubbles, stoop coffee, and a dash of courage.

Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at [email protected] or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen.

The show is produced by Rosemary Belson, with Kevin Bendis and Sophie Summergrad. Our technical director is Merritt Jacob and our supervising producer is Joel Meyer.

This episode is for Slate Plus members. Join now to unlock it—plus other exclusive How To! bonus episodes and ad-free listening across all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe from the How To! show page on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Or, visit slate.com/howtoplus for access wherever you listen.

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Krystina used to host gatherings all the time. Then came kids and the pandemic, and the parties ground to a halt. She's feeling a renewed urge to bring people together—specifically her inspiring, badass female friends—but every time she starts to plan something meaningful, she balks. On this episode: How To!'s Courtney Martin connects Krystina with Katherine Goldstein of the Substack and podcast The Double Shift. Katherine shares what she's learned from her new project, The How To Find Your People Club, including a guiding principle: Don't overthink it.

More from The How to Find Your People Club: 8 Ways to Embrace "Deep Casual Hosting" (So You'll Actually Do It)

More Advice for the "Deep Casual" Hosting Movement!

A Research-Backed Method to Ramp Up Our Social Skills

A Nitty-Gritty Guide to Finding a Community That's Right for You

If you liked this episode, check out How To Throw a Party They'll Remember and How To Find Friends in Unexpected Places.

Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at [email protected] or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen.

The show is produced by Rosemary Belson, with Kevin Bendis and Sophie Summergrad. Our technical director is Merritt Jacob and our supervising producer is Joel Meyer.

This episode is for Slate Plus members. Join now to unlock it—plus other exclusive How To! bonus episodes and ad-free listening across all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe from the How To! show page on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Or, visit slate.com/howtoplus for access wherever you listen.

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When Kelly volunteered to be the head coach for his son's baseball team, he was nervous. He had no formal training, but he knew he wanted his players to have equal playing time—and have fun. Which they did, until the yelling started and the season ended in a stunning loss (and quite a few tears). What can Kelly do better next season? In this encore episode of How To! from 2021, Amanda Ripley connects Kelly with Doug Lemov, author of Teach Like a Champion and The Coach's Guide to Teaching. Doug shares some fantastic advice for commanding attention (and managing failure) that we can all learn from, on or off the field.

If you liked this episode, check out Congrats, You Won the Olympics. Now What?

Do you have a question that requires Ted Lasso-grade inspiration? Send us a note at [email protected] or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen.

This episode was produced by Derek John and Rosemary Belson.

This episode is for Slate Plus members. Join now to unlock it—plus other exclusive How To! bonus episodes and ad-free listening across all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe from the How To! show page on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Or, visit slate.com/howtoplus for access wherever you listen.

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Safiya is one clumsy coffee spill away from catastrophe. A Gen Xer who hasn't yet embraced the cloud, she stores thousands of digital files, documents, and photos on devices with maxed-out storage limits. On today's episode, Carvell Wallace brings on Caitlin McGarry, senior editor at Wirecutter. Caitlin talks with Safiya about practical ways to delete and organize—and how we can all build healthier habits in our digital lives.

Ready to dive even deeper? Explore these resources:

How to Organize Your Digital Files

Digital Clutter Can Be Overwhelming. Here's How to Clean Up.

Your Phone's Camera Roll Is a Mess. Here's How to Clean It Up.

How to Organize Desktop Apps

Don't Be a Digital Hoarder

If you liked this episode, check out How To Be a Lazy Genius and How To Rethink Screen Time

Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at [email protected] or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen.

The show is produced by Rosemary Belson, with Kevin Bendis and Sophie Summergrad. Our technical director is Merritt Jacob and our supervising producer is Joel Meyer.

This episode is for Slate Plus members. Join now to unlock it—plus other exclusive How To! bonus episodes and ad-free listening across all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe from the How To! show page on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Or, visit slate.com/howtoplus for access wherever you listen.

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When working on her new book, Hello, Cruel World!, science journalist Melinda Wenner Moyer interviewed a wide variety of researchers about raising resilient kids. On this episode of How To!'s Quick Fix, Melinda shares the top three pieces of advice she heard from them.

Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at [email protected] or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen.

The show is produced by Rosemary Belson, with Kevin Bendis and Sophie Summergrad. Our technical director is Merritt Jacob and our supervising producer is Joel Meyer.

This episode is member-exclusive. Listen to it now by subscribing to Slate Plus. By joining, not only will you unlock this episode—you'll also access ad-free listening across all your favorite Slate podcasts. Visit slate.com/howtoplus to get access wherever you listen.

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Sarah loves her in-laws, even though their politics send her running for the exits. Now, her daughter is starting to ask questions about her grandparents' patriarchal, conservative views. How can Sarah raise her kid to be self-assured, justice-oriented, and open-minded—without spoiling the connection between her in-laws and the grandchild they adore? On this episode of How To!, Courtney Martin brings on Melinda Wenner Moyer, science journalist and author of the new book Hello, Cruel World! Science-based Strategies for Raising Terrific Kids in Terrifying Times. Melinda gives Sarah strategies for talking to all parties, reinforcing values in her daughter, and avoiding an irreparable break with her relatives.

If you want more Melinda, check out: How To Raise Kids in a Nation Full of Guns.

Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at [email protected] or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen.

The show is produced by Rosemary Belson, with Kevin Bendis. Our technical director is Merritt Jacob and our supervising producer is Joel Meyer.

Get more of How To! with Slate Plus! Join for exclusive bonus episodes of How To! and ad-free listening on all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe from the How To! show page on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Or, visit slate.com/howtoplus for access wherever you listen.

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Sarah loves her in-laws, even though their politics send her running for the exits. Now, her daughter is starting to ask questions about her grandparents' patriarchal, conservative views. How can Sarah raise her kid to be self-assured, justice-oriented, and open-minded—without spoiling the connection between her in-laws and the grandchild they adore? On this episode of How To!, Courtney Martin brings on Melinda Wenner Moyer, science journalist and author of the new book Hello, Cruel World! Science-based Strategies for Raising Terrific Kids in Terrifying Times. Melinda gives Sarah strategies for talking to all parties, reinforcing values in her daughter, and avoiding an irreparable break with her relatives.

If you want more Melinda, check out: How To Raise Kids in a Nation Full of Guns.

Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at [email protected] or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen.

The show is produced by Rosemary Belson, with Kevin Bendis. Our technical director is Merritt Jacob and our supervising producer is Joel Meyer.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Jessi navigates life with ADHD using a complex web of coping strategies. She used to strive for absolute perfection, but feels overwhelming guilt when she forgets something or loses focus at work or at home. On this episode, How To! co-host Carvell Wallace introduces Jessi to Dr. Sarah Wheeler, an educational psychologist who specializes in ADHD. Dr. Wheeler shares her own experience with ADHD and helps Jessi chart a sustainable path forward to self-acceptance, minus the anxiety and shame.

Dr. Wheeler's Resources and Recommendations

- ⁠Sarah's ADHD story⁠

- Sarah's⁠ Substack⁠ and⁠ podcast⁠

- More about ⁠Sarah and her work⁠

- Joan Wilder's site ⁠Help for Women with ADHD⁠

- Salif Muhamane's Ted Talk,⁠ "ADHD Sucks, But Not Really⁠"

- Kate Weber's⁠ Women & ADHD podcast⁠

- You've Always Been This Way: ⁠"Hello, I'm New Here,"⁠ by McSweeney's columnist Taylor Harris

Check out: How To Navigate Adult Autism and our discussion of ADHD and organizing in How To Do Housework (and Not Hate It)

How can How To! help you?? Send us a note at [email protected] or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen.

The show is produced by Rosemary Belson, with Kevin Bendis and Sophie Summergrad. Our technical director is Merritt Jacob and our supervising producer is Joel Meyer.

This episode is for Slate Plus members. Join now to unlock it—plus other exclusive How To! bonus episodes and ad-free listening across all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe from the How To! show page on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Or, visit slate.com/howtoplus for access wherever you listen.

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Psssst. You didn't hear this from me, but gossiping—can be good for you! Our series on embracing your inner antihero wraps—for now—with a guilty pleasure: gossiping. Normal Gossip host (and beloved former Slatester) Rachelle Hampton sits down with How To!'s Carvell Wallace to dish on the right way to gossip, the link between whisper networks and safety, and the importance of leaving no receipts.

This conversation concludes—for now!—our miniseries on embracing your inner antihero. Check out our episodes on How To Get Sweet, Sweet Revenge and How To Be an Ethical Hater.

Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at [email protected] or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen.

The show is produced by Rosemary Belson, with Kevin Bendis. Our technical director is Merritt Jacob and our supervising producer is Joel Meyer. This episode was produced by Sophie Summergrad.

This episode is for Slate Plus members. Join now to unlock it—plus other exclusive How To! bonus episodes and ad-free listening across all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe from the How To! show page on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Or, visit slate.com/howtoplus for access wherever you listen.

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Our series on embracing your inner antihero continues with a look at superheroes who definitely don't wear capes: ethical haters. Slate culture writer Scaachi Koul sits down with How To!'s Carvell Wallace for a conversation about the power of haterade—and why "hating up" distinguishes ethical haters from run-of-the-mill, establishment negativity.

Links Mentioned:

Sucker Punch by Scaachi Koul

Scaachi's Substack, Hater Nation

Banal Nightmare by Halle Butler

Scamfluencers

Missed our first installment? Check out How To Get Sweet, Sweet Revenge. Next week: How to gossip! (But we didn't tell you that...)

How are you exploring your inner antihero? How can we help you? Send us a note at [email protected] or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen.

The show is produced by Rosemary Belson, with Kevin Bendis. This episode was produced by Sophie Summergrad. Our technical director is Merritt Jacob and our supervising producer is Joel Meyer.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.