How To! with Charles Duhigg

Last week, our expert Arthur Brooks gave us some surefire advice for resetting the parent-child relationship so your kids don't treat you like an emotional ATM. On this episode of How To!, he's going to teach our listener, Karen, how to balance the books, so to speak, by taking some withdrawals of her own. He has some surprising tips for how to restrain yourself from swooping in to save the day when it would be better to let them figure it out. Starting with a hilarious story of the time Arthur's adult son called him—pantsless—from Las Vegas. If you liked this episode, check out part one: "How To Parent Less." Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at [email protected] or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show.

Executive Producer Corey Wara

Edited by Geoff Craig

Booking by Ben Astaire

Do you have a burning question or a problem you need help with? Email us at [email protected] and we will consider your topic for the show.

For full Pesca content and updates, check out our website at https://www.mikepesca.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ To receive ad-free content, become a Pesca Plus subscriber at ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://subscribe.mikepesca.com/ For Mike's daily takes on Substack, subscribe to The Gist List https://mikepesca.substack.com/

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Today on How To!, Freddy, a physician, scientist, and father, struggles with how to mentor his 12-year-old daughter, who prefers her safe comfort zone and strongly resists new experiences, travel, or unfamiliar foods. Host Mike Pesca brings on stand-up comedian and Parenting is a Joke podcast host Ophira Eisenberg to discuss strategies for nudging risk-averse kids to embrace uncertainty without overwhelming them. They explore why today's deluge of technology and abundance creates unique parenting hurdles, how to gamify trying new things, and the shift away from gentle parenting toward tougher love approaches like "FAFO." Plus, is pushing kids outside their comfort zone the key to preparing them for an unpredictable future, or should parents learn to accept their child's natural boundaries?

Executive Producer Corey Wara

Edited by Geoff Craig

Booking by Ben Astaire

Do you have a burning question or a problem you need help with? Email us at [email protected] and we will consider your topic for the show.

For full Pesca content and updates, check out our website at https://www.mikepesca.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ To receive ad-free content, become a Pesca Plus subscriber at ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://subscribe.mikepesca.com/ For Mike's daily takes on Substack, subscribe to The Gist List https://mikepesca.substack.com/

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Today on How To!, Michael, a retired FDNY captain who used to rely on a uniform every day, finds himself staring blankly into his closet and canceling dates because he does not know how to dress. Host Mike Pesca brings on Tavia Sharp, an executive image and personal brand strategist and founder of Styled Sharp, to help Michael navigate post-retirement style, move past 1990s baggy clothing trends, and overcome the challenge of finding proper-fitting clothes as a shorter guy. They discuss the concept of building a practical "capsule wardrobe," why you shouldn't blindly trust store clerks who call themselves stylists, and how to shop for your specific body type. Plus, is adopting a color palette and finding your "season" actually helpful advice, or just unnecessary over-complication?

Executive Producer Corey Wara

Edited by Geoff Craig

Booking by Ben Astaire

Do you have a burning question or a problem you need help with? Email us at [email protected] and we will consider your topic for the show.

For full Pesca content and updates, check out our website at https://www.mikepesca.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ To receive ad-free content, become a Pesca Plus subscriber at ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://subscribe.mikepesca.com/ For Mike's daily takes on Substack, subscribe to The Gist List https://mikepesca.substack.com/

Follow us on Social Media:⁠⁠⁠⁠ Instagram https://www.instagram.com/pescagist/ X https://x.com/pescami YouTube https://www.youtube.com/@pescagist⁠⁠⁠⁠ TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@pescagist

To advertise on the show, contact ⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠ or visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://advertising.libsyn.com/howto

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Comedian and Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me! panelist Paula Poundstone splits her time among a grueling tour schedule and a chaotic home life, but she wants to find the focus necessary to manage her household staff and stop letting her deep aversion to conflict ruin her business. Enter Nedra Glover Tawwab, relationship expert and author of Set Boundaries, Find Peace, who advocates for establishing extreme clarity and asserting direct workplace rules rather than falling into the trap of passive-aggressive avoidance. She introduces Paula to an evaluation rubric for vetting potential employees, advising her to utilize trial workdays and custom hiring assessmentsShe exposes the traps of management neglect that trick empathetic bosses into prioritizing an applicant's personal hardships over their actual ability to complete high-stakes tasks.

Executive Producer Corey Wara

Edited by Geoff Craig

Booking by Ben Astaire

Do you have a burning question or a problem you need help with? Email us at [email protected] and we will consider your topic for the show.

For full Pesca content and updates, check out our website at https://www.mikepesca.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ To receive ad-free content, become a Pesca Plus subscriber at ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://subscribe.mikepesca.com/ For Mike's daily takes on Substack, subscribe to The Gist List https://mikepesca.substack.com/

Follow us on Social Media:⁠⁠⁠⁠ Instagram https://www.instagram.com/pescagist/ X https://x.com/pescami YouTube https://www.youtube.com/@pescagist⁠⁠⁠⁠ TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@pescagist

To advertise on the show, contact ⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠ or visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://advertising.libsyn.com/howto

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Originally Aired on Oct 12, 2021 On this episode of How To!, the second in a two part-series, Dan Christensen, a bus driver in Portland, Oregon, and Matt Smith, a crisis intervention trainer and the co-founder of Aegis Training Solutions, are back to teach you what to do when a fight is already underway. Dan talks about his experience with the 2017 Portland train attack that left two people dead. How do you stay safe? What is your responsibility to those around you? In short, how can you be a better bystander?

If you liked this episode, check out: "How To Have a Fight That Actually Helps Your Relationship."

Do you have a question with no easy answers? Send us a note at [email protected] or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen.

Podcast production by Derek John and Rosemary Belson.

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Ofra splits her time among a number of hobbies in her retirement, but she wants to stop feeling rudderless and find the focus necessary to write a book of observational humor based on her twenty-year career as a psychotherapist. Enter David Epstein, workplace researcher and author of Inside the Box, who advocates for creating artificial structure and imposing concrete deadlines rather than falling into the trap of endless optionality. He introduces Ofra to an evaluation rubric for vetting creative output, advising her to write a mock press release before starting her project to define her audience and clarify the exact parenting misconceptions she wants to target. He exposes the traps of subtraction neglect that trick retirees into adding too many low-stakes activities to their daily routines.

Executive Producer Corey Wara

Edited by Geoff Craig

Booking by Ben Astaire

Do you have a burning question or a problem you need help with? Email us at [email protected] and we will consider your topic for the show.

For full Pesca content and updates, check out our website at https://www.mikepesca.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ To receive ad-free content, become a Pesca Plus subscriber at ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://subscribe.mikepesca.com/ For Mike's daily takes on Substack, subscribe to The Gist List https://mikepesca.substack.com/

Follow us on Social Media:⁠⁠⁠⁠ Instagram https://www.instagram.com/pescagist/ X https://x.com/pescami YouTube https://www.youtube.com/@pescagist⁠⁠⁠⁠ TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@pescagist

To advertise on the show, contact ⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠ or visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://advertising.libsyn.com/howto

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India splits her time between contract production and agency work, but she wants to stop prioritizing other people's projects to scale her personal brand. Enter Simone Stolzoff, workplace researcher and author of The Good Enough Job, who advocates for building a multi-pronged freelance career rather than recklessly burning your ships. He introduces India to an evaluation rubric for vetting new business, advising her to decline any corporate opportunity that does not offer either a premium payout or a clear brand-building advantage. He exposes the traps of vocational awe that trick creatives into accepting less than they deserve, warns her about the exhausting grind of narrow algorithmic niches, and hands her a data-driven framework to prototype and prune her various income streams as her professional goals evolve.

Executive Producer Corey Wara

Edited by Geoff Craig

Booking by Ben Astaire

Do you have a burning question or a problem you need help with? Email us at [email protected] and we will consider your topic for the show.

For full Pesca content and updates, check out our website at https://www.mikepesca.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ To receive ad-free content, become a Pesca Plus subscriber at ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://subscribe.mikepesca.com/ For Mike's daily takes on Substack, subscribe to The Gist List https://mikepesca.substack.com/

Follow us on Social Media:⁠⁠⁠⁠ Instagram https://www.instagram.com/pescagist/ X https://x.com/pescami YouTube https://www.youtube.com/@pescagist⁠⁠⁠⁠ TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@pescagist

To advertise on the show, contact ⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠ or visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://advertising.libsyn.com/howto

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Steven racks up acquaintances on group mountain bike rides, but he cannot turn a casual trailhead hello into a real friendship. For decades he coasted on the built-in connections of being in a band, working in a lab, and having a wife who did the social legwork. But now he needs to make some new friends. Enter Dr. Marisa G. Franco, University of Maryland professor and New York Times bestselling author, who studies adult connection for a living. She walks Steven through the "liking gap," the trap where you assume people like you less than they actually do. She exposes the covert avoidance that keeps him safe and alone. And she hands him a "repotting" strategy for converting trail buddies into a genuine community.

Executive Producer Corey Wara

Edited by Geoff Craig

Booking by Ben Astaire

Do you have a burning question or a problem you need help with? Email us at [email protected] and we will consider your topic for the show.

For full Pesca content and updates, check out our website at https://www.mikepesca.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ To receive ad-free content, become a Pesca Plus subscriber at ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://subscribe.mikepesca.com/ For Mike's daily takes on Substack, subscribe to The Gist List https://mikepesca.substack.com/

Follow us on Social Media:⁠⁠⁠⁠ Instagram https://www.instagram.com/pescagist/ X https://x.com/pescami YouTube https://www.youtube.com/@pescagist⁠⁠⁠⁠ TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@pescagist

To advertise on the show, contact ⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠ or visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://advertising.libsyn.com/howto

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This week we're sharing a special episode from our friends at Mentally Stronger with Therapist Amy Morin — the Webby Award–winning podcast hosted by psychotherapist and mental strength trainer Amy Morin, whose TEDx talk has been viewed more than 25 million times and whose books have sold over a million copies in more than fifty languages.

Every week, Amy shares a practical, research-backed mental strength strategy you can use right away. Think of it as a therapy session you don't have to book: all of the strategy, none of the small talk.

Today we're sharing her episode on outsmarting your inner critic. Amy introduces the anxious voice in her own head that tries to keep her from taking risks, and walks through a simple three-step play — backed by research on self-distancing — for taking that voice's power away so it stops running your life. This play is one of the fifty tools in her brand-new book, The Mental Strength Playbook.

For more strategies like this, follow Mentally Stronger on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. And tell her Mike sent you.

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There's one thing that all of Helena's personal projects have in common: they remain unfinished. The family photo album is empty, as is her mom's recipe book. And the lavender garden is still unplanted. Helena is not lazy. In fact, she's a busy lawyer who has no problem finishing tasks at the office. But she's also a busy mother raising a family, and free time is hard to come by. So how can Helena banish her distractions? On this episode of How To!, the first in a two-part series on time management, we talk to Nir Eyal, author of Indistractable: How To Control Your Attention and Choose Your Life. Nir used to be just as distracted as Helena, but then he figured out some tricks to break free from his stray thoughts. He explains why procrastination isn't a sign of laziness, it's a sign of discomfort. And why it's more important to address your feelings than silence your push notifications.

If you liked this episode, check out: "How To Stop Procrastinating" and make sure to tune in next week to learn how to set the perfect deadline.

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