It's a question I get a couple times a month from blog readers, newsletter subscribers, or Facebook followers: I want to homestead, but my spouse doesn't want to. How do I convince them? Now, I'm not a marriage counselor. But there are a few things that I think are important to keep in mind when trying to convince your spouse to homestead — a situation that often comes up as the modern homesteading movement becomes more and more popular.

Grab a mug of something, and hear me out.

(Don't want to read all the words? This blog post is also a podcast—just press the triangle play button on the little black bar at the top of this post!)

Want to convince your spouse to homestead? Well...what's your specific situation?

With any couple that disagrees on embracing life as homesteaders, there is generally one of four situations to explain the differences in said excitement about jumping into the homesteading life. Which one describes the situation you're in?

Both of you are new to homesteading; one of you is excited to start, but the other doesn't want anything to do with it.

One of you grew up as/currently is a homesteader, but the other person doesn’t want that lifestyle.

One of you has no homesteading experience, the other does and doesn’t want back into that lifestyle.

Both of you were (or currently are) homesteaders, and one of you doesn’t want to do it anymore.

Figure out their specific objections:

The way to convince your spouse to homestead will have a lot to do with what their specific objections are, many of them having to do with what situation you/they are coming from. Here are a few objections that are pretty common.

"You don't know what you're getting into."

Let’s be honest. Maybe they think that by choosing to homestead, you will be taking on too much. Maybe they think you’re being unrealistic about what homesteading challenges you're signing up for.

Maybe they’re skeptical because your intense (but admittedly sudden) love for homesteading came from seeing a couple pins on Pinterest. And maybe you followed those pins down a rabbit trail and an hour later you were convinced that you needed to make homesteading your new life. Maybe you have a brother/best friend/co-worker who is doing it and you want to be just like them.

Can you not handle death? (Because death is a pretty common thing on the homestead.) Do you have issues with taking on big projects and then not following through? Do you not like mess, dirt, or being outside? (Don’t laugh. I’ve talked with people who want to have goats and chickens and a huge garden, but cannot for the life of them handle being outside for longer than three minutes).

Maybe you're trying to convince your spouse to homestead because you're absolutely sure that homesteading is going to save you a ton money. Friend, homesteading doesn’t always save money. In fact, depending on who you ask and what kinds of issues they’ve run into with homesteading, you might hear them say that homesteading isn’t any cheaper and in some ways, it's more expensive.

"I don't have time (or the desire) to help you."

Maybe your significant other isn't necessarily against homesteading, but knows they won’t be able to help (or flat out don't want to) and don’t want their inability or lack of desire to help to be a constant fight between the two of you. Brutal honesty here? If your spouse supports you in your desire to homestead but straight up tells you homesteading isn’t a game they want to play, you can’t get mad when they’re not playing it.

"I'm not moving to the middle of nowhere."

When trying to convince your spouse to homestead, you need to be clear about what you mean by homesteading. Perhaps they think you’re talking about moving to a 180 acre fix-it-up farm when you simply want to put a few chickens in the backyard. Modern homesteading encompasses a very large niche, let’s make sure that you’re on the same page about what’s even on the table.

So, how do you convince your spouse to homestead?