Episode 2: How to Get Motivated and Unstuck

Dr. Prianca speaks from her experience as a physician, coach, and mother. 

In this episode you will learn:

• The importance of aligning goals and values
• What about goals gets you stuck
• The purpose of stepping into your identity

 

To end burnout and exhaustion and get your peace of mind back, check out her free masterclass on 4 steps to overcome burnout, get rid of overwhelm, and get your peace of mind back.

https://program.stresscleansemd.com/4-secrets-to-living-a-life-you-ll-love-podcast

 

If you want to work with Coach Prianca Naik, MD, go to

www.priancanaikmdcoaching.as.me to book a 30-minute consultation call

 

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https://www.linkedin.com/in/prianca-naik-md-0524a196/

 

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[FULL TRANSCRIPT BELOW:]

 

Hello and welcome, everyone.

 

I am so excited to have the privilege of chatting with you again!

 

Today I want to talk about an issue that many of my clients come to me with.

 

The feeling of being stuck.

 

This is a common issue amongst accomplished type A mothers.  

Many of us go along a path we believe has already been paved for us.

 

I can speak to being a physician.  College, then medical school, then residency, some do fellowship then a job.  So much stuyding and training to get to the final destination of working, seeing patients, making an impact, and of course an income as well. 

 

Right?

 

Perhaps in our personal lives we want ot have kids so we need to find a partner, a sperm donor.  Someone with whom we believe we can spend the rest of our lives.

 

Then a few years in. after a prestigious job, seemingly good marriage, and beautiful children we feel like there's something missing.

 

We have goals.  These can be simple ones-like working out regularly, losing a few pounds. But we cant seem to make the time.  I say make bc we can always create the time for what we want to do.

 

It's not that we don't have the time bc time exists and we can decide how we want to use it.

 

Or maybe we have a bigger picture goal.  Feeling safe in our homes.  maybe we live w someone w narcissistic tendencoies or an addiction

We are tired of feeling emotionally and perhaps even physicially unsafe and are tired of walking on egg shells.

We want something more for ourselves and our kids but don't know how to go about getting there.   Leave?  Oh no that's daunting. It's scary.  I will dive into fearing forward, facing our fears in another episode.

 

Today I want to address how to get unstuck when you have goals but believe you lack motivation.

 

First, I want you to write down your top two goals right now.  They can be big or small. 

Then decide what your top 5 values are

 

Examples of values are

1.   Loyalty
2.   Humility
3.   Compassion
4.   Honesty
5.   Kindness
6.   Integrity
7.   Determination
8.   Generosity
9. Courage
10. Tolerance
11. Trustworthiness
12. Altruism
13. Empathy
14. Diligence
15. Independence

 

Those are just a few values, feel free to come up with your own.

 

Okay now that you've picked 5 of those or of five of your own.  Thnk about the flavor of your goals.  Do they fall in line with the 5 values you listed?

 

If not, it's time to rethink those goals and why you want them

If they do then great

 

Next, ask yourself why you want to lose those 5 lb and do you like your reason?  If so, proceed.  If not, proceed with caution or rethink what you are trying to accomplish.

 

If you don't' like your reason-then that is your reason for being unmotivated or stuck.

 

Once you pick goals that align with your values and you like the reasons behind them, we can get started on unsticking you.

 

I'm going to discuss how to get unstuck because clients come to me feeling stuck all the time.

So not everything in life is fun right? 

Some goals require rote work.

For example, studying in med school issn't really fun for most of us, but we power through.

How do we get out of our own paralysis or self-sabotage ie spending hours scrolling on social media instead of being productive?

 

How do we get started?

Key is finding goals that truly align w our values

 

We should start with an identification of an identity.  Who we are or who we would like to be.

 

If it's not who we are now, we might need to have an identity shift.

For example, Who would that person be that loses those 5 lbs or gets that major job promotion?

The person at a healthy weight 

probably makes healthy choices

Takes care of her body

Works out regularly

Working our way up the ladder at work-

Deciding we are that high level ceo and coming from that place

Working smart, not hard

Strategizing

Bringing a ton of value to the table

 

If it's an identity we have in the back of our minds to adhere to, then it's much easier to keep our actions in line with achieving our desired goal 

 

Here are some additional ways you can get unstuck and get started on achieving all that you want to achieve

 

Find Accountability partner-friend, find one in an online social media group check in daily on how you're making your goals happen

I have an accountability partner I met in a business coaching program over a year and a half ago and we check in daily with our to do;s, goals nad progress

We list our goals for the day each morning and say how our day went that same evening.

This created external accountability and pressure to get things done.

 

Another way to create external accountability is to-invest money into it.  If you want to lose weight, hire a personal trainer, or if there are changes you want to make in your life but can't seem to get momentum, you can hire a therapist or life coach.  If you're spending money on something, you're less likely to skip out on the appointments and action steps to achieve your goal.

 

Another useful tip is to 

Use mel robbins 5 second rule-look it up or buy her book (no affiliation here)

When you ponder acting or not acting on your goal, count down 5-4-3-2-1 and physically move or your brain will stop you.

•      Start by counting backward to yourself: 5-4-3-2-1. The counting will help you focus on the goal or commitment and distract you from the worries, thoughts, and fears in your mind. As soon as you reach "1," move. That's it.
•      This Rule will work every time you use it as long as you move with the number 1. 
•      The Rule is a simple, research-backed metacognition tool that creates immediate and lasting behavior change.

Metacognition awareness and understanding of one's own thought processes.

Which can help us beat our brain's usual protective mechanism of sticking to routine and stagnation in order to accomplish our greater goals.

Another way to get unstuck is to

Create manageable goals-clients come to me wanting to go from zero to  6 hours of exercise a week

This is a lofty goal

Doing something for 5 minutes is a good way to just start

Making the goal easier to achieve. 

For example, putting on workout clothes first thing in the morning and deciding to do 10 minutes 5 days a week

This will help you get into a rhythm and realize you can do it

Once you see you're capable, you will increase to working out more

When we create daunting tasks and goals, we often get paralyzed.

Keep things simple

less is more!

 

Another tried and true way to get your goals going is the concept of pairing.

 

Pairing is when you tether your activity to something you do daily already.

For example, Pair working out with brushing your teeth make it a nonnegotiable

or

You can't watch real housewives unless you're on the elliptical

And 

Finally

PRETEND

 

Fake it til you make it bc we can trick our brains into believing we are motivated

Pretend you're motivated

Act as if you're motivated

Ask yourself:

If I were motivated what would I do and then do that.

Voila, you'll get into action mode

 

Try one or all of these tips and let me know how you do.