How to Survive

It's episode 159... and I will not be threatened by a walking meat loaf!

This week, An American Werewolf in London (1981), which tells the story of David, a backpacker who is bitten by (you guessed it) a werewolf while on a trip to (you guessed it) London. David begins seeing visions which seem to indicate he'll transform into a beast at the next full-moon, but are the visions right, or is he going mad?

We talk about the efficient use of firearms; making good on apparent interdimensional conveyance; and the dangers of rubber-necking outside of the world-famous adult cinema in Central London.

Whatever happens, one things for sure: A naked American man stole my balloons.

Next week, try to stay awake as we begin our new franchise... it's A Nightmare on Elm Street...

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It's episode 158... and this one who's blind... She's the one that can see.

Don't look now, but this week's movie is Don't Look Now (1973) - a movie about a couple whose loss leaves them feeling lost. John and Laura seek to escape their grief in Venice - but it's easier said than done for their pair, as their grip on reality begins to unravel.

A safe and healthy dose of health and safety leads the conversation; but look out for our fashion tips for murderers; and more thematic comparisons than you can shake a seance at.

Whatever happens, one things for sure: If the world is round, why is a frozen lake flat?

Next week, John Landis' 80s classic 'An American Werewolf in London'.

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A slight break in the scheduled programming while we carry out some essential podcast admin. (Totalling up votes for the next horror movie-franchise; negotiating licensing on our life-rights with Hollywood studios who want to make a movie out of the podcast; watching rubbish movies. That sort of thing...)

As such, this week is a repeat of 2016's Halloween 'Trick': Wallace and Gromit and the Curse of the Were-Rabbit.

No doubt you'll listen to the end, but don't believe the hype: Next week isn't 'Collateral', it's Nicholas Roeg's 1973 classic horror, Don't Look Now.

Get in touch with your thoughts on what our next franchise should be (only three weeks left!)

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It's episode 157... and I'm giving you a choice: either put on these glasses or start eatin' that trash can.

This week, They Live (1988); a movie in which the wrestler Rowdy Roddy Piper puts on sunglasses that allow him to see the hidden forces which capitalist aliens use to control the world.

We stick it to the man with some personal finance tips for intergalactic overlords; the importance of adhering to a dress code; and Chris enjoys Joe's most concise and coherent quiz yet.

Whatever happens, one things for sure: Mama don't like tattletales.

Next week, Nicholas Roeg's 1973 classic horror, Don't Look Now.

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It's episode 156 - and you now have the option to terminate and be cremated on the premises...

In Escape from New York (1981), New York City has been turned into a prison, with giant walls keeping prisoners locked inside. Anyone who goes in may never come out, and the city is run by criminals - which is bad news for the US President, who has become stranded in the city - and for Snake Plissken, the disgraced Special Ops soldier sent in to save him.

We talk about sane approaches to data protection; the benefits of open sharing of information; and (of course) the correct way to structure any effective team.

Whatever happens, one things for sure: We, the soldiers of The National Liberation Front of America, in the name of the workers and all the oppressed of this imperialist country, have struck a fatal blow to the fascist police state. Another classic film solved by the best movie podcast in the world.

Next week, another John Carpenter classic, with They Live (1988).

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It's episode 155: I, Robot - Vintage, 2004.

I, Robot (2004). I, Robot is the tale of Det. Del Spooner, as he seeks to solve the riddle of how a robotics engineer died. Despite the best judgement of all the world's lawyers, scientists and engineers, Del suspects a Robot is responsible - and when technology begins to malfunction around him, could he be proved right?

We talk about the most rudimentary travel safety measures going overlooked; how a basic knowledge of electronics could have solved a lot of aggravation; and we try to squeeze in some semblance of an artistic project among a series of awkward and irritating adverts for shoes.

Whatever happens, one things for sure: I'm gonna miss the good old days, when people were killed by other people.

Another classic film solved by the best movie podcast in the world.

Next week, John Carpenter season begins with Escape from New York (1981)!

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It's episode 154... last chance... download the episode, and you stay in Wonderland, and we show you how deep the rabbit hole goes.

The Matrix (1999) tells the story of a hacker named 'Neo' who is drawn in by a mysterious group who want to show him the world as it really is. Is Neo humanity's saviour, 'The One'? and will he be able to stop the deadly 'Agents'?

We talk about the one of the most influential movies every made; the limitations of exceptionally advanced technology; and the benefits of doing as your told when there's a gun pointed at your head.

Whatever happens, one things for sure: There's a difference between knowing the path, and walking the path...

Another classic film solved by the best movie podcast in the world.

Next week, it's the world's greatest movie premise suggestion: I, Robot (2004)

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It's episode 153... and I kick arse for the Lord!

Braindead (1992) is called 'Dead Alive' in America, and this is the story:

Lionel lives at home with his controlling mother, when he begins dating local shopkeeper, Piquita. Lionel's mother follows them on a date at the zoo, where she's bitten by a Sumatran Rat Monkey. What happens next must be seen to be believed, but have your sick bags at the ready...

We talk about the most nauseating desert ever served in a movie; give some sound zoo-curation advice; and for god's sake, keep your keepsake.

Whatever happens, one things for sure: I haven't had a good custard in years. She never makes the stuff.

Another classic film solved by the best movie podcast in the world.

Next week, it's the blockbuster to end all blockbusters: The Matrix (1999).

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It's episode 152...and we have found you in a box...

True crime writer Ellison Oswalt (yes really) is desperate for another hit, and so takes the rash decision to move his family into a house in which the previous family were brutally murdered. A box of snuff films, missing children and mysterious pagan deitys await the Oswalts in this fascinating, unique story that can only be described as 'a horror movie that came out in the early-to-mid-2010s'.

We tackle spirit photography, squirrel eradication and excrutiating excuses; question the financial planning of a destitute man with two mortgages; and wonder at what point a film about children being brutally murdered on camera crosses the line of 'good taste'.

Whatever happens, one things for sure: Bad things happen to good people and they still have to have their story told.

Another classic film solved by the best movie podcast in the world.

Next week it's Peter Jackson's seminal Braindead (1992)

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It's episode 151...and it's a g'day for an apocalypse.

Cargo (2018) tells the story of one family's struggle to survive both the harsh conditions of the Australian outback, and a rampant contagious disease that has ravaged society. Can modern humanity outlast this apocalypse, and do they even deserve to?

We throw another Martin Freeman on the barbie, tie our kangaroos down to unnecessary anniversary gifts and do battle with our greatest foe - having to record a podcast on the hottest day of the year.

Whatever happens, one things for sure: It had fingers Andy!

Another classic film solved by the greatest movie podcast in the world.

Next week it's Sinister (2012)!

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