How to Survive

This week we're keeping warm with The Towering Inferno!

The Towering Inferno (1974) is widely considered the greatest of the run of 70s disaster movies. It tells the story of the world's tallest skyscraper, and what would happen if a huge fire started on the 80th floor, with the creme de la creme of San Francisco 50 floors above!

We talk about improving the efficiency of a one-person chair lift; the difficulty of forgetting about 6 million gallons of water; and the ease at which a fire can be extinguished by running past it.

All of which leads to one big question:

How would you survive?

Whatever happens, one thing's for sure... It's a fire, mister, and all fires are bad!

Another classic film solved by the best movie podcast in the world.

For Episode 24, we're back in the Wild West, holding off a tribe of cannibal Native Americans. It's Bone Tomahawk!

After three people are kidnapped from the town of Bright Hope by a tribe of cave-dwelling creeps, it falls to four men to save the day. They are the town sheriff, his hapless deputy, Jack from Lost and a man with a broken leg.

We talk about the difficulty of bridging the gap between horror and any other genres; the merits of calling for reinforcements when heading into any hostile situation; and once again, how it pays not to be a swaggering chauvinist.

All of which leads to one big question:

How would you survive?

Whatever happens, one things for sure... that tea smells awful!

Another classic film solved by the best movie podcast in the world.

It's Episode 23, and we're talking about the latest movie to feature Leonardo DiCaprio sleeping in a horse's carcass: The Revenant.

Hugh Glass is in dire straits. He's been attacked by indians, bears and even his colleagues, and now he's been left for dead. The only thing left to do is travel across the great American wilderness, on foot, during the harshest winter imaginable.

We talk about the importance of friendship in ensuring a safe and successful Manifest Destiny; the relative merits of hunting marine animals for profits; and we even take Ray Mears to task on his frankly dangerous advice about bears.

All of which leads to one big question:

How would you survive?

Whatever happens, one things for sure... revenge is in God's hands .

Another classic film solved by the best movie podcast in the world.

For Episode 22, we're going South - it's The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974).

The film focusses on a group of teenagers on a road-trip through Texas. The group stops to visit an old family farm house, but finds more than they bargained for when they are attacked and murdered by a 7 foot brute with a chainsaw.

We talk about the importance of safety around industrial agricultural equipment; the merits of emotional intelligence when dealing with a murderous psychopath; and the benefits of keeping up a solid cardiovascular regimen.

All of which leads to one big question:

How would you survive?

Whatever happens, one things for sure... That's the last Goddamn hitchiker we ever pick up!

Another classic film solved by the best movie podcast in the world.

It's Episode 21 of How to Survive and that can mean only one thing: It's Friday the 13th Part 3!

The film centres around a group of teenagers who head to a campsite on a lake. Once there, they are attacked and murdered by a marauding maniac. Before you say 'that sounds familiar' you should bear in mind that this movie is very different because Jason wears a new mask.

We talk about the thin but important line between making friends on the one hand, and alienating everyone around you on the other; the inherent difficulty of surviving against a killer whose only definable trait is 'he might or might not come back from the dead'; and the benefits of looking at the physical characteristics of a person before assuming they are someone you know.

All of which leads to one big question:

How would you survive?

Whatever happens, one things for sure... Would you be yourself if you looked like this?

Another classic film solved by the best movie podcast in the world.

This week we're talking about a 2015 Horror/Comedy based (very loosely) on the Scandinavian legend of Krampus!

Krampus (2015) tells the story of a family who have lost their Christmas spirit. Despite the best efforts of the the youngest child, Max, to generate some festive cheer, the group are punished for forgetting the true meaning of Christmas by a shadowy demon called 'Krampus'

We talk about the difficulties of bridging horror and comedy; the benefits of remembering one simple and easily achievable survival method; and we dig into some top tips from the SAS.

All of which leads to one big question:

How would you survive?

Whatever happens, one thing's for sure... Weihnachten ist die beste Zeit des Jahres.

Another classic film solved by the best movie podcast in the world.

This week we're talking about the movie that made Macaulay Culkin the man he is today... it's Home Alone!

Home Alone (1990) tells the story of Kevin McCallister, an eight year old boy left alone (at home...) for the Christmas holiday. Which would probably have been fine, were it not for the marauding burglars attempting to break into his house.

We talk about why Kevin McCallister is an ideal Treadstone subject; the general incompetence of everyone over the age of 8; and of course, the dangers of standing under a blow torch for 7 unbroken seconds.

All of which leads to one big question:

How would you survive?

Whatever happens, one thing's for sure... we're gonna give you to the count of ten to download this podcast. One... Two... Ten!

Another classic film solved by the best movie podcast in the world.

This movie is also known as 'Blackfoot Trail' in some territories.

If you haven't seen it, head to howtosurviveshow.com to find a link to your own copy.

The movie is from the fringes of the horror genre, but is more than welcome in a discussion about movie survival.

Backcountry (2014) tells the story of two hikers, Jenn and Alex, who become badly lost in the Canadian Wilderness. They manage to keep their wits about them for a short time, before they have a run in with a wild black bear!

We talk about a rod-for-your-own-back approach to food preparation; the pressures of a modern man to live up to unattainable levels of masculinity; and how best to take on a black bear, based on the advice of a 'How-To' blog with questionable expertise.

All of which leads to one big question:

How would you survive?

Whatever happens, one thing's for sure... we don't know how much this will cost you, we just know how much you pay!

Another classic film solved by the best movie podcast in the world.

This week we're talking about the head, the tail, the whole damn thing... it's Jaws!

Steven Spielberg's Jaws (1975) was the first summer blockbuster - and what a blockbuster it was! Jaws tells the story of Police Chief Martin Brody, and his attempts to keep the island town of Amity safe from a marauding great-white with a taste for tourists.

We talk about the questionable business acumen displayed by a small-town mayor; the appropriateness of a seaside town hiring a Police Chief with a fear of water; and the pros and cons of giving a whole town a deadly neurological disease.

All of which leads to one big question:

How would you survive?

Whatever happens, one thing's for sure... we're gonna need a bigger boat!

Another classic film solved by the best movie podcast in the world.

It's the catchiest thing to come from monkeys since 'I'm a believer': It's 28 Days Later.

Danny Boyle's 2002 classic is as influential as any 'zombie' film before or since. A massively impactful, bleak and visually astounding movie which takes you on an emotional rollercoaster from start to finish.

We talk about the survival limitations of a high population density; the difficult of catching an outbound flight from a train station; and how a taxi driver came to own police riot gear (or a riot officer came to own a taxi).

All of which leads to one big question:

How would you survive?

Whatever happens, one thing's for sure... that's not a lion, it's a giraffe!

P.s. We know it's spelled 'Monkees'. The joke wouldn't work with the correct spelling.

Another classic film solved by the best movie podcast in the world.