Doing Life with Ken and Tabatha

How Unresolved Offense Destroys Love


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People don’t wake up one morning and decide they don’t love their spouse. What we see far more often is something quieter and more dangerous: a hurt that never gets resolved, a story we keep replaying, and a wall that goes up brick by brick until the house feels cold. We’re naming that enemy directly, unresolved offense, and we’re telling the truth about what it does to marriage, intimacy, friendship, and even your relationship with God.

We talk through how offense starts with “little foxes” like unmet expectations, small disappointments, and everyday irritations that don’t seem serious enough to address. Then we show how those “small” moments turn into patterns like assumptions, passive-aggressive comments, nitpicking, shutdown, emotional separation, and ultimately the claim that you’ve “fallen out of love.” Along the way we ground it in the Bible, including Ephesians 4:26 on urgency and Hebrews 12:15 on bitterness spreading, because resentment in marriage is never neutral.

You’ll also hear our real-life examples, what we’ve learned after 26 years, and the practical tools we use when conflict hits: stop keeping a list, deal with it fast, separate the issue from the person, bring it up without attacking, challenge the story in your head, forgive even when feelings lag behind, rebuild connection on purpose, and invite God into deeper healing when a conversation isn’t enough. We close with prayer and a chance to renounce offense and start again.

If this helped you, subscribe, share it with a friend or a couple you care about, and leave a review so more marriages can find these tools. What’s one “brick” you’re ready to drop today?

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90 Day Better Marriage Devotional - Ken and Tabatha (square.site)

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https://www.kenandtabatha.com/pl/2148103888

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Doing Life with Ken and TabathaBy Ken Claytor and Tabatha Claytor

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