A Little Help For Our Friends

Humiliation: The Spiciest Social Emotion


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Humiliation might be the most painful social emotion we experience, even traumatizing. Yet it's much less talked about compared to its cousin, shame. In this revealing episode, we unpack the distinct characteristics that make humiliation uniquely devastating and potentially dangerous.

When someone in a position of power debases you in public, that's not just intense shame- it's humiliation. You simply experience a profound loss of status and dignity. While someone might humiliate you to "teach you a lesson" or make you change, but it only brings up a powerful urge for revenge.

We explore how this emotional response plays out across various contexts—from relationships where partners use humiliation as a power tactic, parents humiliate their kids as discipline, to political landscapes where people who are humiliated become radicalized. We talk about how public humiliation can devastate someone's life, while contemporary cancel culture creates new avenues for status destruction.

Finally, we discuss pathways for healing after humiliation. While revenge might feel satisfying in the moment, understanding the true costs of vengeance versus genuine recovery offers a more hopeful way forward.

Join KulaMind, our community and program for people with loved ones struggling with mental health. We teach essential skills for managing crises, setting boundaries, and practicing self-care during challenging relationships.

Support the show

  • If you're navigating someone's mental health or emotional issues, join KulaMind, our community and support platform. In KulaMind, we'll help you set healthy boundaries, advocate for yourself, and support your loved one.


  • Follow @kulamind on Instagram for podcast updates and science-backed insights on staying sane while loving someone emotionally explosive.


  • For more info about this podcast, check out: www.alittlehelpforourfriends.com
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A Little Help For Our FriendsBy Dr. Kibby McMahon

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