Over time, I've noticed that there tend to be four major stages between marriage and divorce...

Those four stages of separation are:

1. She says she wants out
2. Plans are made to live separately
3. Someone moves out
4. Divorce is filed

Today's episode covers these stages in what I call the Separation Roadmap.

It is an overview of each one of these stages with answers to a few key questions about each one.

• What's going through her head?
• What mistakes do men tend to make at this stage?
• What have I seen get good results in each stage?
• What does reconciliation look like if it happens at each stage?

Obviously, every separation is different and sometimes stages get shuffled around or combined, but MOST separations go through at least three of these stages before the divorce is final.

If you want to know a bit more about where your separation is at and get some potential new ideas for creating positive change in your relationship, this episode ought to do both those things for you.

Today we'll be wrapping up the Get Your Wife Back With... series with a look at enforcing boundaries during separation. Learn how enforcing boundaries can be the thing that sparks your wife to change course and rethink leaving the marriage

Yes, believe it or not, I have seen marriages saved when the husband draws a line and enforces a boundary. The most common way this is done is with an ultimatum... "Do this, or else that will happen." "End the affair, or else I'm moving forward with divorce."

It should come as no surprise that enforcing boundaries is a last resort during separation. And of all the avenues we've presented in this series, this is the only one where YOU are taking back control of the separation. In this episode, you'll learn what boundaries are justifiable to enforce during separation (hint: there's one big one) and how you can go about doing that with the best possible chance of reconciliation.

Can friendship pave the way back to a happy marriage?

In the fourth episode of the Get Your Wife Back With... series, we're looking at how to get your wife back with friendship. Seems simple on the surface, but we'll talk about when it works best, signs that you're doing it right, and a couple extra things to know when trying to compete with some of the new friends your wife may have made for herself during the separation.

Plus, we'll talk about how to get your wife on the same page with you so that you both accept and engage in friendship with each other, without putting pressure on her that you're trying to manipulate her back to the marriage.

Overall, my hope is that after this episode you will understand the role of friendship with your wife during separation, how it can help you, and how to apply it to YOUR separation.

How do you get your wife back with fatherhood? Can stepping up as a father help you rebuild connection and trust with your wife during separation? If so, how?

In part 3 of the Get Your Wife Back With... series, we will examine the role of good parenting and how that can help bridge the gap of separation to find common ground with your wife.

Obviously, this only applies if you have kids, but for fathers going through separation, this episode will go in-depth on everything you need to know to help your wife see you in a positive light as you step up with your kids.

In the second episode of our 5-part Get Your Wife Back With... series, we are taking a look at how to get your wife back with space. No, I don't mean staring up at the stars together, I mean shifting your attitude towards distance in the relationship during separation.

Most separated wives ask for space at one point or another. In this episode, we'll talk about how you can respond to that desire for space in a way that sets you up for future reconciliation.

More specifically, we'll talk about how giving your wife space can actually be a productive part of separation if you approach it with the right mindset. We'll talk about what that mindset should be. We'll also touch on when you should give space vs when you should lean in and pursue, and you'll learn how to tell when you're doing it right.

The first of a five-part Get Your Wife Back With... series, in this episode we will talk about how to get your wife back with attraction.

Attraction - something we talk a lot about here on Husband Help Haven - is the feeling that creates a wanting from your wife for the marriage. Often, it's one of the biggest things missing by the time a marriage hits the point of separation.

In this episode, we'll dive deep into attraction during separation. You'll learn what your goal should be for rebuilding attraction with your wife, when it works best, how to do it, and signs you're on the right track.

Why is trust the #1 thing we focus on throughout the 3+1 Separation Strategy?

Why is trust so important in rebuilding the foundation of a future happy marriage with your wife?

In the final episode episode of our 4-part series, we will explore what trust means in your relationship, why it MUST be the starting point for reconciliation, and the process you must follow to rebuild trust with your wife.

With self-control and self-improvement in place, we begin looking at how you can start showing your wife the man she could have if she stays.

The third and final step of the 3+1 Separation Strategy is where we harness the work of the first two steps in a way that begins improving your relationship with your wife.

In this episode, you'll learn how to start seeing the opportunities available to you in your separation. We will do this through two powerful questions that help you see what your wife needs before she will stay. I will also share what I tell men who feel like they have few or no opportunities to get their wife back.

The second step of the 3+1 Separation Strategy is all about self-improvement.

With self-control firmly in place, we can harness that discipline to start making meaningful changes in you as a man, husband and father.

In this episode, I'll walk you through a few different ways you can pinpoint the type of man you want to be, and identify specific changes you can make to start working towards that man.

What's the very first thing I tell a separated man who wants to save his marriage?

Stop the desperation, focus on what you can control.

That's the first step of the 3+1 Separation Strategy, which is my go-to advice for most men who want to get their wife back from separation. It's a three step strategy working towards a singular goal of rebuilding trust in your relationship.

In this episode, you'll overview the entire 3+1 Separation Strategy, and then we'll go in-depth on the first step.