Knuckles sits back while Jonny Raithby unloads two belters. First up: the night a comedy hypnotist picked a shy 17-year-old Jonny and sent him under—bear-hugging his coach in undies, dancing, and miming golf swings that “connected” squarely with the family jewels. Jonny swears it was real, and reckons it flipped a switch in him—confidence, footy form, the lot.

Then we jet to Marmaris, Turkey for his first lads’ holiday: wrong end of the season, US sailors flood the town, local tension spikes, and Jonny’s crew suddenly have a gang with knives on their heels. Cue back-street evasions and a six-foot-six Turkish unit who “has a word” and makes the problem disappear. Also: why Turkey’s the world capital for hairlines and teeth, and £0.13 beers in the 90s.

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