Hypotheticast

Friends.

This is a Wednesday. The world is a lot. It can be hard to hold it all. If you're coming here, it's probably because you'd like to take somewhere in the ball park of 36 minutes and jump into a nasty, stinky pool of hypothetical nonsense. We've done our best to create that for you, today. We love you.

Topics include: Jacob Frey's Lush Red Carpet, FuckTales, All Hot and Moist in There, Longpig, I'm Container Blind, Like a Butter Sculpture at the State Fair, Don't You Think It'd Be Funny to Clap If Your Hands Were Butts, Don't You Think It'd Be Funny to Make it Clap If Your Butt Was Faces.

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Or, search for us on SPOTIFY if you're excited about bending the knee and declaring once and for all that Shrek is the Rightful King.

Boo, boo, boo.

It's almost upon us. That fateful hour. The hour that the Big Scary Punkin' Man will descend and ask "who will you kiiiiiiiiiss," and you'll have to say. You'll have to say! Just like we did, in this episode, because we played Smash / Slash / Ashk on a Date! Join us in figuring out exactly what the most smoochable candy bar / candy bag truly is.

Topics include: I Am Dating Myself, His Hands Can't Come Apart, The RippedKeeper, Just Go Fuck a Snickers, The Invention of Fun Size Candies is a White Collar Hate Crime, The Creature From the Black Caramel Lagoon, Did That Happen, The Unwrapping of a Mummy as a Sensual Act, The Spider and the Businessman, and Chucky's Got it All.

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Come chat with us, and other fans, in our FACEBOOK GROUP. iTunes FacebookTwitter InstagramYOUTUBE

Or, search for us on SPOTIFY if you're super scared of that guy with CDs in his head from the Hellraiser series.

Hahaha, wow. A Wednesday. A Wednesday. Such an idea.

Today, it's DARK STORIES. Yeah, you know why. It's spooky season baybee, and we're here to ask the scariest questions and get the scaaariest answers. Halloweeeeeen.

Topics include: Santa is a Big Slut, Halloween Drivin', She Wasn't NOT Looking for Something, Died Instead of Kissing, Poison Shoes, People Getting Killed by Big Machines, Who Kills You for Being Tall, and Mike Knows Every Dark Story.

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Or, search for us on SPOTIFY if you think it could have been a steamroller.

The Ween Times, they are here again. And with them, the scariest possible thing in the whole land: a thing we used to do in middle school. Y'all remember M.A.S.H., right? Mansion, Apartment, Shack, House? Well, this week, in honor of your favorite holiday, your favorite beans are playing MONSTER M.A.S.H. You're welcome.

Topics include: Scary Mommy, ISO Sasquatch Family, Joining the Monster Club, Who Wants to Do Me, Be the Scare You Want to See in the World, Meat Spheres, I Don't Think a Witch Belongs in a Sarcophagus, HellHands, I'll Ruin My Whole Life, and A Little Dangle.

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Come chat with us, and other fans, in our FACEBOOK GROUP. iTunes FacebookTwitter InstagramYOUTUBE

Or, search for us on SPOTIFY if you think you could live in a sarcophagus.

We're makin' stuff.

Collaboratory is the name of the game this week, and that means we're creating world-class five-thousand-percent legitimate inventions to help people solve real, tangible problems. We're here to HELP, baybee.

Topics include: Scare Your Pants On, Andy Dick is There, Cheese on Cheese, My Butt is Just There, The Funnel Hut, I Love Those Little Shriveled Bastards, Isaac Newton Invented Gravity and I Invented Stuff It, and The California Raisin that Played the Saxophone.

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Come chat with us, and other fans, in our FACEBOOK GROUP. iTunes FacebookTwitter InstagramYOUTUBE

Or, search for us on SPOTIFY if you somehow think of a better Bob Dylan Cheese Song Joke. Doubt it, though. I'm pretty sure we got them all.

As a famous internet cat once said: "well, hi!" And as a different famous internet cat once said: "I hate mondays." It's a Wednesday though, right now, so you're fine. Hi! Welcome to the show notes. We're bringing you a beauty of an ep this week, I promise. Wow, a banger. It's R.O.M.A.N.T.I.C. D.R.A.M.E.D.Y. time. Wonder what that stands for? Listen.

Topics include: Recording a Podcast on the Internet with Slimy Mike, Swiss Army Man Knife, The Despicable Queen with Locks of Garnet Who Loves the Stronghold, Stronghold Syndrome, What Cows are Supposed to Be Doing, Sexy Pics of Her Pipe Leg, and That One Looks Cool and Practical, and Having Moss Eaten Out of Your Teeth.

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Come chat with us, and other fans, in our FACEBOOK GROUP. iTunes FacebookTwitter InstagramYOUTUBE

Or, search for us on SPOTIFY if you're really into automation.

Staying inside all the time instead of going out with friends can be hard. Do you ever sit, staring at your TV, thinking "if I were there"? Well, we've got good news for you. We're playing a game called If I Were There! It's all about what we'd get up to if we were inserted into some very randomly generated movies. Dirty Dancing? You know I love dirt.

Topics include: Merry Christmas, The Disney Hole, Why Did You Want to Go Inside Arnold's Body, I Hate Those Glasses, Johnny Dirty, Johnny Dirty and the Muddy Nasty Babies, Bony and Slimy, He's a Bad Teacher, and More Like Dangerous Knife.

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Come chat with us, and other fans, in our FACEBOOK GROUP. iTunes FacebookTwitter InstagramYOUTUBE

Or, search for us on SPOTIFY if you'd be super hyped about getting into that Willy Wonka World and just chowin' down.

The apocalypse is all too real, so we're coping the only way we know how: by pretending it's a DIFFERENT kind of apocalypse. Fun, right? Haha, whee, etc. This week, we're playing Fallout Shelter, the game where we create Mutant Beings with Powers and Accessories, and then draft them into adorable little radioactive living spaces. It's precious.

Topics include: Too Big For My Cricket Britches, Say No to Puss, The True Origins of the Mood Ring, Sorry Captain Caveman Isn't Sexy Enough For You, Wild-Ruled Notebooks, No Need for Poop, Most Special Thing, Double Hammy and We're Both Married, Stuff About Houses, and Nug Bucket. ***

Come chat with us, and other fans, in our FACEBOOK GROUP. iTunes FacebookTwitter InstagramYOUTUBE

Or, search for us on SPOTIFY if you'd marry Hank instead of Peggy.

Oh dear, oh dear. It's back to school time. And, while that looks so different for so many of you, we're trying to keep it Very Normal here at the Hypotheticast, so Mike's giving us some Back to School Hypothetical Questions! We're talking about colors, about inventions, and about living in the zoo. You know. School stuff! Topics include: Consumerist Little David, Sneakers and Guns, A Possum in a Denim Jacket, Geese Are Just Nasty, Teen Pop Basketball Songs, Petal Pubs, Think Outside the Glocks, Baba Anujka, Too Cool for Trends, and Mr. Teacher the Janitor. The Songs David Mentioned That He Said He Would Put in the Show Notes: Animal Spirits - Vulfpeck Lovely Day / Good as Hell Mashup - Pomplamoose ***

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Or, search for us on SPOTIFY if you don't understand why we were talking about Elephant Poop.

It's been a while since we had a GUEST on this show. But no longer. This episode's got a special man-shaped nougat in the center, and I think you'll really enjoy his flavor. By that, of course, I mean we're doing urban-legend-themed would-you-rathers with none other than Adal Rifai! Join us to find out what Bloody Mary does in her downtime, how a Baby Train works, and exactly how much of a person can be a deer for Emily to be interested in kissing them.

Topics include: Baby Human Centipede, Doing a Train, Pussy Mary and the Blelves, The Tiny Clown Butler from Downton Abbey, Takin' it In Like a Vaccuum, Mouth Violence, Maybe I Can Train My Tongue, Super Confident Monkeys, Bloody Mary Top, The Marx Sisters, If That's the End of It, and Deer John. *** Check out Hello from the Magic Tavern and Hey Riddle Riddle, two shows that Adal hosts and also are very good, what a combo.

Come chat with us, and other fans, in our FACEBOOK GROUP. iTunes FacebookTwitter InstagramYOUTUBE

Or, search for us on SPOTIFY if you'd rather find out exactly why the Deerman had to come out of a bottomless pit. And maybe, just maybe, what else is down there.