Idiot's Guide to Horror

Get in the van, creepies! Continuing on our summer series, Chris n' Cara are cutting up The Texas Chain Saw Massacre (1973). We cover the movie's extremely concise plot and pepper in some talk about Ryan Murphy, all while dodging power outages from a storm raging in the background. We also discuss the titles that should have been. Don't pick up any hitchhikers or eat any gas station barbecue! Let's go!

PANCAKES, creepies! To continue the summer series, Cara n' Chris are deconstructing Cabin Fever (2002)! Chris admits one of his celebrity (?) crushes, Cara admits that she once liked nü metal, and then they talk about pop music before diving into this pandemic-tinted bloodbath. The hot takes are scorching today! Have yourself a 40. Just party.

Strengthen your morals, creepies! By popular demand, Chris n' Cara are covering Sleepaway Camp II: Unhappy Campers (1988) and boy, oh boy...are they ever unhappy campers! This chaotic episode features two people running fevers who love you enough to still put on a show. Lots of tangents: the Olympics, other podcasts, and how gross we feel...and a little bit of the movie. Be a happy camper! 

We've always dreamed of listeners just like you, creepies! This week in the summer series, join Cara & Chris for a trip to Sleepaway Camp (1983), the classic and controversial slasher. Come to the social and chat with us about the implications of the film's infamous plot twist, but not before we cover the awful fashion and the world's most impractical cookware. If Angela were any quieter she'd be dead, but we certainly don't shut the hell up! 

Come back home, creepies! For the next episode in our summer series, we couldn't leave ya hanging! Chris n' Cara are covering It Chapter Two (2019) and man, do we ever have some feelings about it. Surprisingly, we mostly stay on topic. But we also talk about the Conjuring Cinematic Universe, and we actually sign off the podcast this time! Home at last!

Beep beep, creepies! Continuing on our summer series, Cara n' Chris are crawling into the sewers and digging up commentary on It (2017)! Cara is terrified of clowns and barely makes it through! Learn what Olympic sport caused Chris to break his elbow! A fight between a cat and a dog! It's all here, so grab your gazebo pills and your red balloons and let's have a horrifying summer! (TW: This episode contains descriptions of [fictional] sexual assault, mental abuse, and hate crimes.)

It's a (not so) cruel summer, creepies! Cara n' Chris are kicking off their summer series with a pretty obvious choice: I Know What You Did Last Summer (1997). Are you ready to hop in a time machine and travel back to the late 90s? Are you ready to hear one of us geek out about a teen melodrama? Are you ready to hear the other one thirst after Ryan Phillippe? Do you know what we did last summer? Who cares, now we're making a podcast! Throw on your fishing boots and let's go sailing!

One, two, a very special episode is coming for you, creepies! To wrap up Pride Month, Chris n' Cara break down TWO movies for you: the spectacularly homoerotic A Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy's Revenge, and the documentary about its star Scream, Queen! My Nightmare on Elm Street. Join us as we talk about subtext and breathe fire on David Chaskin (and Jamie Spears for good measure). In this house, we protect Mark Patton at all costs!

Lose yourself in dance, creepies! This week, Chris n' Cara are flapping & yapping about Darren Aronofsky's [predictably depressing] psychological horror film,  Black Swan (2010). To alleviate the tension, they also dive into the proper ways to address a sequel, home security, and even let their pets weigh in. Point your toes and let's go!

Death has come to your little town, creepies! This week, Cara n' Chris are joined by their buddy Tim Costa and they're talking about John Carpenter's Halloween! Yes, it's June, but they know that you're all ready for October. They go over Dr. Loomis's bedside manner, Laurie's beige fetish...and then we go on a bunch of hilarious tangents. You're gonna want to hear this.