I'm Grand Mam

PJ has given Kevin the ick because he keeps referring to the work they do together as 'content' and it makes Kevin feel like they live in a Tik Tok hype house. They then spend the rest of the catch-up fawning over a professional dancer they both had a crush on back in the day. The focus is then shifted towards the topic of nerves. Though they're quite calm and collected for the most part these days, when they were younger Kevin was up in a heap when he had to give a speech to the Lord Mayor and PJ recalls how his stomach once slipped out his ass when he was taking a dance class and someone whipped out a camera.

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PJ has noticed a few changes in Kevin from having spent the last few days with him in London. He's very impressed with his cooking abilities which have come a long way since his Linda McCartney sausage days and he also thinks that Kevin has elevated his outfits. A change that Kevin has not welcomed is the fact that he is now in his klutz era; he took a hopper in his most recent Crossfit class and was mortified. Did Kevin mention he does Crossfit now?

The theme is gambling and despite the fact that the lads aren't massive risk-takers themselves they suggest what forms of gambling they could be allured by and offer interior-design advice for the bookies to get more gay punters through the door because currently the decor is not giving.

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PJ just arrived in London and tells us how triggered he is from all the chaotic people he encountered in Dublin Airport before his flight and Kevin is still traumatised from an accident he had at the weekend which nearly gave him a sexy scar. The theme for the week is bullying and the lads start off by discussing the fact that when they were in school a new anti-bullying campaign was shoved in their face every week but they're not sure how effective the campaigns were. They talk about the ridiculous insults people used in their teens, Kevin buying McDonald's for a girl who had her phone screen smashed by bullies and they reveal why they refuse to stop using the term 'hetty'.

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Kevin is back in London but his return wasn't all plain sailing as he tells us of the ordeal he went through with his suitcase at Heathrow Airport. In celebrity news, Molly Mae and Tommy Fury have just called their newborn baby Bambi and the lads reckon people shouldn't worry about the girl having to apply for a mortgage with that name because her mam is minted.

The theme for the week is money management and Kevin and PJ discuss their spending habits and question whether they need to start being more sensible when it comes to budgeting now that they're approaching their thirties. They then read chaotic submissions from listeners who have spent their money on ridiculous bits including a mad thing who spent €180 on two mugs from Germany.

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Well, Kevin has finally finished with Sleeping Beauty and is slightly hungover for the record as he was out late for the wrap party. He’s also slightly h word which PJ takes issue with. Though his contract has come to an end he is still carrying the weight of being a 'role model' for the next generation of performers, a title he takes quite seriously and is kind of obsessed with. The boys then dissect Spare, the new memoir from Prince Harry, though they already know an awful lot about the contents of the book by seeing things online and against their own will. They take a look at the most chaotic aspects of the book and question why a man of his age uses words like todger and gan gan. No need for it. They also have great difficulty in ascertaining the difference between the North and South Pole but at least they’re both pretty.

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The boys are recording in PJ's house in Dublin and Kevin expresses his concern that the cats have taken over the gaff since his last visit. The boys are mortified because they have slowly come to the realisation that sea swims are a small bit stunning but were taking the piss out of sea swimmers for ages so now they're eating their words.

Then, because the boys are still on an engagement buzz, they go through listeners' submissions of chaotic wedding moments; from brides getting their toes sucked to a nan having their wrist broken in the bouquet toss, some of the stories are absolutely bananas!

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It's the first episode of 2023 and Kevin is still using the term chillaxing but we move. The lads have a quick catch-up on what they got up to over Christmas and New Year's and both come to the conclusion that they detest Snuggies (sorry Lindsey). But the big news is that Jose got down on one knee on New Year's eve and popped the question and PJ felt like he was having an out-of-body experience and said yes so now they've a wedding to save for and Kevin is obviously weak for them but is also weak for the fact that this means loads of extra content for the podcast. Also PJ shares details of his stunning engagement ring and Kevin reveals how he was tempted to leak a photo of the ring to the press.

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It's the last episode of 2022 and what better way to kick things off than pondering over the dilemma of whether you would shag Tom Hardy or not if he was your first cousin. 2022 has been all over the gaff but the boys do their best to try and reflect on the nicer moments of the last 12 months. Kevin and PJ also give some chaotic predictions for the year ahead and question whether peplum will ever have the resurgence it so rightly deserves.

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Kevin had his opening night of the pantomime but the first show didn't go as smoothly as he would have liked and he was a small bit traumatised. PJ is also a small bit traumatised this week as he has developed a lisp since he started wearing his new retainer. Then because they had a load of submissions that they never got to last time they read out some more mortifying moments. There's a story about a waitress assaulting a customer who she believed to be her friend with a menu, a woman having a really awkward encounter with a mirror in a shop in Dublin and an altar server who took their role at the church a little too seriously and the lads are left squealing at the chaos of it all.

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PJ has once again gotten the train down to Cork to see Kevin as the lads agree that the vibes are always immaculate when they’re recording in person together but one thing they’re not happy about is the fact that the sweet trolley hasn’t yet made a return to Iarnród Éireann. 

PJ was Christmas decoration shopping at the weekend and is feeling all kinds of festive and the lads discuss chaotic gifts they asked Santa for in the past.

They then turn their attention to embarrassing moments prompted by a mortifying encounter Kevin had in London with a tote-bearing girl he presumed to be a fan of the pod. They talk about the fact that they don’t really get too embarrassed themselves and that it’s more-so the little things that send them spiralling. But one thing they both agree on is the fact that David Beckham should definitely be mortified for himself. They then read some listener submissions of embarrassing stories.  

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