Play and having fun are scientifically shown to improve mental health. Kids do this easily. Adults, not so much. Listen to this week's podcast for information about why and how play can benefit your mental well-being. Also, this week is GIVEAWAY week. Listen and win. 

Prizes: 

$25 Amazon gift card

$25 Uncommon Goods gift card

Annie Chen's Attachment Workbook

If you use Instagram, comment on the post with your mental health goals for 2023 and what prize you want and you will be entered for 1 entry. 

If you use Instagram, share a favorite post or reel to your story and tag @in_sanitypodcast and you will be entered for 10 entries.

If you rate or review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Castbox you will be entered for 20 entries. 

Articles referenced in this week's podcast. 

Awakening the Playful Self

The Importance of Play for Adults

Join me this week for some reflection on what my first 100 episodes mean to me. What are the top favorites? Which ones get the fewest listens? What are my favorites, and do I listen to my own podcasts? I have also learned some things about myself and I share those with you this week. In celebration of the first 100, join me next week for a listener giveaway. I will share the details in episode 101. 

On this podcast, I spend a few minutes talking about my perspective on Christmas. Like many of you, I found it essential to figure out how to manage my expectations, and the expectations I thought my family had about Christmas. It's taken some years, but I realized I could do Christmas however I want, and people around me will adjust. I can also carry Christmas and the holiday season into the new year. This gives me more time to engage in meaningful things after Christmas and throughout the year. 

When your attachment style triggers a reaction, it's essential to recognize it. These reactions are felt in your body - sweaty palms, racing heart, clenched teeth, tight chest, and tense muscles just to name a few. These are signals to pay attention to and associate them with your emotional reactions to stress in your relationship with your partner and the associated attachments. That's a mouthful, but that's the awareness component.  Acceptance is how well you can tolerate yourself and your significant other; no judgment and a lot of self-compassion. You are good and loveable and worthy just the way you are. Next is communication and how you communicate. There are strategies and it's a good idea to create some ground rules for discussing your emotionally charged topics - which could be anything, by the way. Check out some attachment websites and get Annie Chen's book. See prior show notes for links. 

Avoidant attachment is an insecure attachment. The belief is that others are unreliable, so they have to meet their own needs. This translates into romantic partners who are self-protective and stressed out if there is too much need in a relationship. Listen to this week's podcast to learn what a relationship with insecure-avoidant partners will look like. 

Avoidant adults are often independent and self-reliant. They appear happy and go-lucky. They problem-solve, avoid conflict, and rarely need emotional support or help from anybody. They pursue excellence outside of their relationships and appear "in control." Relationships for insecurely attached avoidant people are best left superficial. Emotional closeness and intimacy are eschewed, even in a romantic, committed relationship. If a partner wants too much, the avoidant partner - avoids. Competing attachments, fault-finding, and emotional stonewalling are all ways avoidant partner creates separation. Listen to this week's podcast to determine whether you have avoidant tendencies. Remember, this is a spectrum. No one definition hits all the relevant points. 

The Attachment Project 

The Attachment Theory Workbook 

The Attachment Quiz

Join me this week for the second and last episode regarding competing attachments. What are yours and how do you use them to avoid different aspects of your romantic relationships? Can you communicate with your partner about these issues? Do you want a secure, satisfying romantic relationship? Then do the work. 

Identifying and addressing competing attachments with couples

Primary Relationships should be a Primary Priority

Join Kylee and me this week as she brings up the subject of "micro-anxieties." These things annoy you and you waste emotional energy caring about them. They are a brain drain, and not worth the space they take. There is science behind the idea that this stuff stifles creativity, decreases productivity, and makes you miserable.

The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing

Atomic Habits

A competing or rival attachment is something or someone we turn to instead of our partners. This week's podcast talks about this issue and identifies some rival attachments, and then challenges you to see what or who you might be investing in to get one or more of your emotional needs met. Our attachment styles impact how we connect in our romantic relationships, and this week's podcast can help bring awareness to these counterfeit attachments and the impact they have on us and our partners.

Yes, you can hear a cat meowing through the entire episode. Remember, I told you all about the animals. Apparently, he was hungry, lonely, and talkative. Ender and I are finished talking about anxious attachment insecure style. This week's podcast is about communication, safety, security, empathy, and appreciation. Listen to the podcast for some final thoughts about this important topic.