In The Den with Mama Dragons

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In the Den is one year old! To celebrate a full year of episodes, we’re turning the spotlight back onto our intrepid host Jen Blair.  Mama Dragons Executive Director Celeste Carolin guest hosts and asks Jen about her experiences of having a child come out as gay and finding Mama Dragons in its earliest years of existence. We hope you enjoy this chance to get to know Jen better and to glimpse the source of her endless passion for creating a better world for parents of LGBTQ children. 

Special Guest: Jen Blair

Jen has been a member of Mama Dragons since January 2014. She has a husband, four amazing kids, and one pet--a plastic skeleton dog that sits on her porch during the month of October. Originally from Utah, Jen currently lives in Idaho. When not practicing yoga or reading, she's often having lively conversations with strangers on the internet. 

Special Guest Host: Celeste Carolin 

Celeste Carolin studied business at Harvard Extension School and is currently earning a Masters in Marriage and Family Therapy from NCU. As a queer (lesbian) cisgender woman, she has worked with LGBTQ youth and non-profits for the past 10 years. Celeste has served in Mama Dragons leadership since 2016 and currently serves as the Mama Dragons Executive Director. She lives just outside Seattle with her lovely partner Jamie, extended family, grand kiddos, and their pup Jackson Blue. Both Celeste and her partner come from non accepting religious roots, which fuels Celeste's passion for understanding and serving the intersectionality of faith and parenting LGBTQ children. 

Links from the Show:

• Join Mama Dragons today: www.mamadragons.org 

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Content Warning: Frank discussion of death by suicide

In this week’s episode of In the Den, Jen sits down with fellow Mama Dragons Julie Turnbull and Alyson Paul Deussen to talk about their lived experiences as mothers surviving the loss of their sons to suicide. In this vulnerable discussion, they honestly share the difficult moments of parenting a suicidal child and the journey of grief that their lives took when their child died by suicide. We hope their insights help other parents who are facing the same unthinkable parenthood journey of loss. 

Special Guest: Julie Turnbull

 Julie Turnbull has been involved in LGBTQ ally spaces since 2014 when she joined the Mama Dragons FB group. In January 2015, her gay son Tyso, died by suicide, and Mama Dragons became the space for her to find support in her grief. She was also motivated to turn her grief into action, so she became more involved in Mama Dragons. In 2017, she was elected as the 2nd president of Mama Dragons. In 2018, she served as Mama Dragons President. Under her leadership, Mama Dragons received non-profit status and formed a 501c3. Currently she is serving as the podcast guest coordinator for In the Den with Mama Dragons podcast. Julie is self-employed and manages her own rental properties. She lives in Snohomish, Washington with her partner. She is the mother of 6 (5 living) and the grandmother of 4.

Special Guest: Alyson Paul Deussen

Alyson began her journey with the LGBT community in 2012 with her then newly out son, Stockton. Tragedy stuck in 2016 when Alyson lost Stockton to suicide. Since then, she has continued to share their story in an effort to bring awareness (#standingforstockton #ichooselove). She has been involved with Utah’s LGBTQ Suicide Prevention Workgroup, I’ll Walk With You, Affirmation, and Mama Dragons. Presently, Alyson is working with the Love Loud organization, Flourish Therapy, and has helped create sexual health training for parents.  Alyson and her husband George are board members with the UofU Caring Connections: A Hope of Comfort in Grief Programs.  The mission is to provide evidence based bereavement care for grieving persons. Alyson and her husband George have three kids, three grandkids, and currently live in North Salt Lake, UT. They enjoy doing humanitarian work, snow skiing, water skiing, soccer, and traveling.

Links from the Show: 

• Resources for Survivors of Suicide Loss: https://sprc.org/tools/resources-survivors-suicide-loss/
• Alyson and Stockton Al Jazeera America interview: http://america.aljazeera.com/articles/2015/6/30/mama-dragons-make-life-easier-for-gay-mormon-children.html#:~:text=The%20Mama%20Dragons%20offer%20one,families%20and%20are%20sometimes%20suicidal.
• Standing for Stockton website: https://www.standingforstockton.com/ 
• Join Mama Dragons here: www.mamadragons.org 

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Content Warning: Talk of Suicide

If you are having thoughts of suicide or self harm, please call or text 988, or chat 988lifeline.org

Misconceptions and stigma can make suicide hard to understand, but talking about it can make a huge difference. Mama Dragons is committed to keeping the conversation at the forefront of our group to help conquer those misconceptions and help lower suicide rates. In this week’s episode of In the Den, Jen talks with special guest Taryn Aiken Hiatt about factors that impact suicide risk, warning signs of suicidality, and what to do when someone you know is having thoughts of suicide. 

Special Guest: Taryn Aiken Hiatt 

Taryn is a dedicated advocate with a passion for changing the culture around mental health, suicide and substance use disorders.  She is a loss survivor, losing her dad in 2002, and an attempt survivor who lives in recovery today. Taryn founded and is the executive director for the Utah Chapter of the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. She has testified before congress in Washington DC to increase awareness and support for better access to mental health services and to promote healthy discussions about suicide. She is widely respected throughout the nation for her hard work and dedication to saving lives. Taryn is finishing the Master's in Social Work program at UVU and graduates in May 2024. Taryn believes in the power of human connection and is dedicated to preventing suicide.

Links from the Show: 

• Donate to the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention: www.afsp.org 
• Find a local support group through AFSP: https://afsp.org/find-a-local-chapter/ 
• Volunteer with AFSP: https://afsp.org/advocate-for-suicide-prevention/ 
• National Alliance of Mental Illness: https://www.nami.org/Home 
• Join Mama Dragons today: www.mamadragons.org 

In the Den is made possible by generous donors like you.

Help us continue to deliver quality content by becoming a donor today at www.mamadragons.org.  

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Over the years we’ve heard LGBTQ people say that they didn’t know what life might look like for them as an adult. Many haven’t had LGBTQ role models that provide examples of a potential future, and a lot of fear that parents of LGBTQ children experience comes from the unknown as well. We thought it might be helpful for parents to get to know some of the amazing members of the LGBTQ community, just a few at a time, so that they can provide a realistic view of what life could look like for our children. Today, Jen joins guests Sean Childers-Gray, Guy Berryessa, and Emily English in this episode of World of Possibility. 

Special Guest: Guy Berryessa

Guy grew up mostly in conservative Provo, Utah, the fourth of four boys, and attended schools in Provo and briefly in Bangkok, Thailand, before attending college at BYU.  He came out at 26 to his father and a year later, after a year of volunteer service in Nigeria, to his mother (who immediately threw up!) and almost everyone else. His parents eventually became great, supportive allies. Guy and Trey, his husband of 26 years, moved to San Francisco in 1997. They adopted their first child in Germany in 2002 and a second in San Francisco in 2010.  They currently live primarily in Hawaii, but are often back to their San Francisco home, as their elder daughter attends Sonoma State. 

Special Guest: Sean Childers-Gray

Sean Childers-Gray is a transgender man who grew up in Kearns, Utah, and co-founded a charity drag troupe called the Salt City Kings. He has a BA in graphic arts from Stevens-Henager and holds an MFA in media design. He has served as the President of Ogden Pride since 2020. In October 2021, he was honored with the Equality Utah Impact Award for Advancing Transgender Equality. Sean is a graphic designer and writer. He and his wife Sara are raising two queer teenagers, two huskies, and a cat named Todd. As an Educator in Higher Ed for over 15 years, Sean finds advocating for his students at Davis Tech College a priority as he continues his work for the LGBTQ+ community at large.

Special Guest: Emily English

Emily is a writer, teacher, and grant program specialist who lives in Bellingham, Washington.  She is passionate about the rights and lives of young queer people.  She adores her 5 boys and considers being their mother to be one of the great joys of her life.  In her free time, she journals, writes, reads, and loves to go on adventures to odd and obscure places.

Links from the Show:

• Subscribe to Sean’s Substack here: https://seanchildersgray.substack.com/
• Find Sean on IG and X: @s_childersgray 
• Sean on Behance: https://www.behance.net/seanchilders-gray 
• Sean in PRINT: https://www.printmag.com/author/seanchildersgray/
• Join Mama Dragons today: mamadragons.org

In the Den is made possible by generous donors like you.

Help us continue to deliver quality content by becoming a donor today at www.mamadragons.org.  

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In this week’s episode of In the Den, Jen sits down with Point Foundation Executive Director and CEO Jorge Valencia to discuss everything from his experiences growing up closeted and gay in a conservative religion in the South in the 80’s, to his time as president and executive director of the Trevor Project, to his current position as executive director and CEO of the Point Foundation, which offers both need and merit based scholarships to the LGBTQ community. Jorge’s passion to help LGBTQ youth comes through in this lively conversation about overcoming the barriers that queer youth face in today’s world. 

Special Guest: Jorge Valencia

Jorge Valencia has served as the Point Foundation’s Executive Director and CEO since 2007. Point provides financial support, leadership training, and mentorship to queer US college students from around the world. Before that, Jorge served as President and Executive Director of The Trevor Project from 2001 — 2006. Jorge earned his Bachelor of Arts degree from Brigham Young University in 1989. As an openly gay man who grew up in a Mormon Latino family in Texas, Jorge has a keen personal awareness of many of the issues of rejection and marginalization faced by many LGBTQ youth. Jorge is fluent in English, Spanish, and Portuguese and is an accomplished public speaker. Jorge has a passion for helping LGBT youth and has an ability to communicate effectively with both the LGBTQ community and the general public. 

Links from the Show:

• The Point Foundation: https://pointfoundation.org/ 
• The Trevor Project: https://www.thetrevorproject.org/
• Trevor Project Resources: https://www.thetrevorproject.org/get-help/ 
• Jorge’s bio at Point: https://pointfoundation.org/about/staff 
• Jorge on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jovalencia 
• Jorge on X: https://twitter.com/i/flow/login?redirect_after_login=%2Fjvalencia 
• Join Mama Dragons today: www.mamadragons.org 

In the Den is made possible by generous donors like you.

Help us continue to deliver quality content by becoming a donor today at www.mamadragons.org.  

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This week In the Den, Jen talks with LGBTQ/disability advocate Carson Tueller about his experiences surrounding the intersection of sexuality and disability. Carson talks about coming out as gay and the spinal cord injury that left him paralyzed. He also shares his thoughts on systemic ableism and offers valuable insights into sexual intimacy and vulnerability. 

Special Guest: Carson Tueller

Carson Tueller is a coach, speaker, and writer whose transformational work explores and challenges our notions of freedom, identity, and radical self-discovery. Carson’s work began when the trajectory of his life changed in 2013 - not only did he come out and leave his lifelong Mormon faith, but he was also injured in an accident that left him paralyzed.  Carson took what seemed to many like an insurmountable tragedy and turned it into the foundation of personal transformation. Carson is a prominent figure on social media, featured in major publications and award-winning podcasts, sharing his unique message with audiences worldwide. His diverse talents have taken him all over the globe, from speaking internationally to serving as a policy advisor for a major presidential campaign in 2020. Carson Tueller is more than just a coach and speaker - he's a catalyst for change.

Links from the Show:

• Carson’s coaching/speaking website: https://www.carsontueller.com/ 
• Carson on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/carsontueller/ 
• Carson on FB: https://www.facebook.com/carsonjtueller 
• Carson on IG: https://www.instagram.com/carson_tueller/ 
• Join Mama Dragons: www.mamadragons.org 

In the Den is made possible by generous donors like you.

Help us continue to deliver quality content by becoming a donor today at www.mamadragons.org.  

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Conversion therapy, sometimes called reparative therapy or sexual reorientation counseling, is an attempt to change a person's sexual orientation, gender identity, or gender expression. There is broad consensus in the medical community that sexual orientation and gender identity are immutable traits and that attempts to change these characteristics through conversion therapy or other means are not only unnecessary and ineffective, but also very harmful. In this week’s episode of In the Den, Jen talks with Ryan Kendall about his experiences as a survivor of conversion therapy, his powerful testimony in California’s Proposition 8 trial, and his current career as a civil rights attorney, working to protect marginalized people and give everyone a fair shot.

Special Guest: Ryan Kendall

Ryan is a survivor of conversion therapy who testified about his experiences in the Proposition 8 trial and in support of legislative bans in California, New York, and New Jersey. Ryan has worked as an advocate to eliminate conversion therapy, and his work has been featured in news stories, op-eds, scholarly articles, interviews, books, and theatrical performances. He is a graduate of Columbia University and the UCLA School of Law. Ryan is currently a civil rights attorney for the Systemic Impact Unit at Community Legal Aid SoCal.

Links from the Show:

Content Warning–some links contain homophobic language and talk of conversion therapy.

• “8”: A Play About the Fight for Marriage Equality: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qlUG8F9uVgM
• Ryan’s testimony excerpt from 8: A Play About the Fight for Marriage Equality:
  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5kwBzbd9bHQ
• Video of California’s Proposition 8 Case: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NgQKPGfKT84&list=PL83B3C0F7EC3ECDE4&index=34
• Born Perfect: https://www.nclrights.org/our-work/born-perfect/ 
• Ryan on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ryanmkendall/recent-activity/all/ 
• Ryan’s bio on the website for National Center for Lesbian Rights: https://www.nclrights.org/about-us/who-we-are/ryan-kendall-2/ 
• California ban on conversion therapy: https://www.reuters.com/article/us-california-gaytherapy-idUSBRE88T0DR20120930 
• Ryan’s story on CNN: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iGG7_kKkT50 
• Join Mama Dragons here: www.mamadragons.org 

In the Den is made possible by generous donors like you. Help us continue to deliver quality content by becoming a donor today at www.mamadragons.org.

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Words with Friends 9

Words with Friends episodes are bonus episodes where different members of Mama Dragons provide definitions for LGBTQ related topics. This episode includes the following definitions:

WPATH shared by Becky J. from Salt Lake City, Utah

ROGD shared by Pannay G. from Wisconsin

SRS/GCS shared by Melissa H. from Georgia

SOGIE  shared by Heather G. from Southern Idaho

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EPISODE 45–A Closer Look at Ace/Aro Identities

There are misconceptions and misunderstandings surrounding those who find themselves on the asexual (ace) and/or aromantic (aro) spectrums. In this episode of In the Den, Jen talks with special guests Grayson Moore and Kris Glad about what it means to be asexual and aromantic. 

Special Guest: Grayson Moore

Grayson Moore (he/him) came out as transgender at age 16 (2011) and as asexual two years later. Grayson, alongside his mother Neca Allgood, worked with Equality Utah on extending Utah’s housing and employment nondiscrimination protections to cover sexual orientation and gender identity. He has also worked with Affirmation LGBTQ Mormons Family and Friends. Grayson currently lives in Michigan with his boyfriend and girlfriend. He enjoys cooking, singing, occasionally writing, and playing Factorio.

Special Guest: Kris Glad

Kris Glad (they/them) first came to their asexual identity at age 17 (2012). In the decade since, they've found their experience to be fluid with regards to where, precisely, they fall on the asexual and aromantic spectrums, and they've tried on many labels within the ace and aro community to understand their experience and communicate about it with the people in their life. These days, Kris gravitates towards the term 'demiromantic', but mostly just tells people they're somewhere on the ace and aro spectrums.

Kris has a degree in Gender Studies and Sociology from the University of Utah, and they enjoy nerding out on queer history, feminist theory, and any scholarship that helps them understand their own experience. In their free time, Kris can usually be found crafting - knitting, cross stitching, sewing, etc - probably while listening to a podcast.

Links from the show: 

• Aces and Aros: https://acesandaros.org/ 
• The Asexuality Visibility and Education Network: https://www.asexuality.org/ 
• The Ace and Aro Advocacy Project: https://taaap.org/ 
• Join MamaDragons today at www.mamadragons.org 

In the Den is made possible by generous donors like you. Help us continue to deliver quality content by becoming a donor today at www.mamadragons.org. 

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We asked members of our group to share some of the most hurtful things that had been said to them or their LGBTQ children, even if the speaker’s intentions were good.  The response was absolutely overwhelming. Some of the reported comments would be considered microaggressions and some were intentionally cruel. Just in time for all of the upcoming holiday gatherings, Jen brings back therapist Lisa Tensmeyer Hansen to talk through some common categories of microaggressions and possible ways to respond. 

Special Guest: Lisa Tensmeyer Hansen

Lisa Tensmeyer Hansen is the clinical director and founder of Flourish Therapy, Inc., (Flourish), a behavioral health clinic in Provo, Utah, which she founded in 2017. Lisa received a B.S. from BYU in 1990 as valedictorian, an M.S. in 2012 and Ph.D. in 2017, both at BYU, focusing on improving the mental health of LGBTQ+ people in conservative families/communities. She lives with her husband in Payson, Utah, where together they made a home for 7 children (and a few extras) and now have 18 grandchildren.

Links from the Show:

• Flourish Therapy: https://flourishtherapy.org/
• Join Mama Dragons today at www.mamadragons.org  

In the Den is made possible by generous donors like you. Help us continue to deliver quality content by becoming a donor today at www.mamadragons.org.

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