This week on The Blunt and the Beautiful, we’re diving headfirst into the digital delusions of modern life — from voicemail rage to coroner’s reports as bedtime reading (yes, really). Kate’s inbox is in its villain era, Tansy’s Notes app is a therapy session with a soundtrack, and both of them are still paying for subscriptions they forgot about in 2018.

In this episode, we unpack the rules of phone etiquette (who made them?), why women make better FBI agents than the actual FBI, and how being always accessible is making us emotionally bankrupt. We ask: why can’t we just be offline? Why do we save 400 recipes we’ll never make? And how do you unsubscribe from a VPN and your ex?

Also on the docket:
📲 Texting as trauma
🎧 45-minute voice notes (aka DIY podcasts)
🧠 Biohacking burnout
📚 Hoarding essays, eulogies, and dumpling bakes
🧼 The fecal phone crisis (sorry)
👻 And what it really means when you can’t throw out a digital receipt from 2007

This episode is basically a 2x-speed scroll through every toxic internet habit we hate but can’t quit — and yes, we’ll be saving it to our Notes app.

Takeaways

• There is fecal matter on your iPhone. Think about that.

• Texting is a warzone. Voice notes are the trenches.

• Everyone’s performing online — even in their email send times.

• Digital hoarding is the new emotional repression

• TikTok is ruining your attention span (but god the babies are cute)

• Real friends let you ignore 387 unread texts without guilt

• Biohacking can suck it

  
  

Chapters

00:00 – Inbox anxiety & unread badge shame
07:00 – Doomscrolling, coroner's reports & shit drivers of Australia
13:00 – Hoarding receipts, essays, and existential dread
20:00 – The cult of voice notes & generational etiquette wars
26:00 – Subscription scams, VPN lies & LinkedIn regret
31:00 – Pomodoro lies & productivity propaganda
36:00 – Screen time, sound pollution & why silence is scary
40:00 – Attention spans on life support & Notes app confessions

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