Inspiration from the Couch

When should we be silent? When should we speak up? What happens when we overshare? Today, we’re talking all about communication! We examine when silence is beneficial vs. when it feels oppressive. We touch on how social media affects how people communicate and can add to environmental “noise.” We also talk about the other end of the continuum—oversharing—how it happens, why we do it, the consequences of it, and how to handle being on the receiving end of it. Lastly, we briefly touch on situations in which it’s very important to speak up. 

Are you a “good girl”? Or have you felt pressure to be “good”? All three of us definitely answer YES to these questions! Today, we’re talking about what makes a good girl, exploring how this looks both when we’re younger and as we age. We examine the connection to shame and guilt, which keep us trapped in the good girl role. We identify cultural factors and conditioning that plant the seeds for and reinforce the good girl identity. After sharing our own experiences, we talk about the perks and downsides of taking on a good girl identity. 

Song: Ablaze by Alanis Morissette

Have you ever experienced a wake up call? Even if you’ve never literally received a phone call to wake you up, have you ever had something happen in your life that “woke you up” to a particular situation? In today’s episode, we talk about wake up calls we’ve experienced personally, and we touch on various events that have served as cultural wake up calls on a larger scale. We end the episode by discussing what can happen when we ignore wake up calls and how we can better “stay awake” in our day to day lives. 

Today’s episode is all about one of our favorite activities—sleep! Join Jamie, Avery, and Lucy as they talk about all things sleep - how much, when, and what gets in the way or good sleep. We share our own preferences, struggles, and a little bit of scientific information. We also provide some practical tips to improve sleep and “stop the struggle” if you’re having trouble sleeping. 

We are thrilled to welcome Dr. Ramani Durvasula to the couch today! She is a licensed clinical psychologist and author of several books including It’s Not You: Identifying and Healing from Narcissistic People. We begin this episode with a conversation about how Dr. Ramani defines narcissism as a personality style and what kind of red flags to look out for in our relationships. We discuss the intersection of narcissism and self-abandonment, what keeps people in relationship with narcissists, and radical acceptance. Dr. Ramani tells us why you don’t need to call out a narcissist, and when it’s ok not to forgive. We end the episode with a discussion about healing from a narcissistic relationship and the grief, excavation and integration that happen in the process. 

If you want to learn more from Dr. Ramani, you can find her on YouTube where her compelling videos on how to heal from narcissistic relationships have accumulated millions of views.  Check out her website to learn more about her podcast, Navigating Narcissism with Dr. Ramani, the Healing Program, and interactive platform, the Dr. Ramani Network. 

https://doctor-ramani.com/

https://www.youtube.com/@DoctorRamani

https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/710202/its-not-you-by-ramani-durvasula-phd/

What in your life do you dread? How do you experience dread? What’s the point of dread? How do we make our dread go away?  We dive into all these questions in today’s podcast. Jamie, Avery, and Lucy share their own experiences with dread, and we explore the different ways dread can show up (e.g., Avery’s dread is more anxiety based, and Lucy and Jamie’s dread is more like “I don’t wanna do this!”). We explored the overlap among dread, anxiety, and depression. We talk about how dread comes up for clients in our clinical practices. Lastly we talked about how to manage and reduce our experiences of dread.  

Jamie, Lucy, and Avery have found self-compassion to be incredibly helpful in their own lives and in the lives of their clients. In this episode, we talk specifically about how we use self-compassion as parents. We’ve found self-compassion to be especially useful in parenting situations where we are feeling judgment for ourselves or our kids, during transitions, when we are in conflict or feeling irritable, when we need a break, when we’re making a difficult parenting decision or setting a limit, when we’re feeling regretful about the past or worried about the future, and really whenever we’re suffering. In these situations, we’ve noticed that simply naming and observing our thoughts and feelings and getting curious about them (rather than judging them) to be an important first step. Validating and tending to our own feelings can help us feel more calm and clear. Another helpful component of self-compassion is recognizing the common humanity of our experience. When we recognize that we are not the only ones having a particular issue, we feel less isolated. Taking self-compassion breaks, practicing loving-kindness meditation, and visualizing the presence of a supportive person in our lives can help us remember this important tool. 

Avery, Jamie, and Lucy are so excited to interview mother-daughter relationship expert, Hilary Truong, MA, LPC! Hilary is a leading voice on keeping mothers and daughters in relationship through the teenage years and beyond. Join us as we discuss what people get wrong about the mother-daughter relationship, what moms and daughters most need from each other, the unique pressures we face as moms, and helpful strategies to repair the mother-daughter relationship. 

Where to find Hilary:

www.hilarymae.com

www.instagram.com/hilarymaeco

https://hilarymaeco.samcart.com/products/mother-daughter-conversation-game

In this episode, we discuss resentment-how it feels, what kinds of situations may cause it, and what we can do about it. Resentment is defined as a negative feeling in response to a perception of unfairness or being mistreated. We discuss various negative feelings that come up when we’re experiencing resentment and talk through some examples of situations that have made us feel resentful in our own lives. Resentment can make us feel angry, irritable, and on edge and can affect our relationships. We review strategies to help manage our feelings and directly address situations that cause us to feel resentful. 

In this episode, we revisit the topic of adult connection and the importance of adult friendships. We review the mental health benefits of social connection (hint: it’s more important than diet and exercise for longevity!). We talk about the advantage of the friend role as compared to other roles. We also discuss what it takes to be a “good friend” and what to do if a friendship becomes unhealthy. Lastly, we provide some advice for deepening friendships.