Inspiration from the Couch

Today we talk about the ongoing work of truly seeing our kids as individual humans apart and independent of us. We talk about the separation and individuation that typically happens in adolescence AND the process of tending to the parts of ourselves that are separate from our identities as parents. In this episode, we talk about the different ways that we attempt to nurture our kids’ identities apart from us and, at the same time, develop our own identities apart from our kids.  


Follow us on Instagram: 

https://www.instagram.com/badassrebellion/

https://www.instagram.com/inspirationfromthecouch/

Join Avery, Jamie, & Lucy as they discuss their experiences with creativity in midlife. We share our self-perceptions about our creative abilities (or lack thereof), what gets in the way of creativity, and why creativity is an important part of life. We also talk about the “dark side” of creativity, the relationship between creativity and mental illness, and several strategies to bolster our creative energy in midlife. 

We believe that “not enoughness” plays a fundamental role in both our suffering and our humanity. In this episode, we take a deep dive into not enoughness, exploring how it shows up in people’s lives, the impact it has, and its ripple effects. We share our own experiences with not enoughness, and we give the inside scoop about how we navigate not enoughness, both in our clinical work and in our personal lives. We highlight factors that tend to make not enoughness louder, as well as ways to settle/quiet this part of ourselves. 

Today we’re talking about sandwiches! Being a part of the sandwich generation that is! The sandwich generation refers to middle-aged adults who are simultaneously raising kids and supporting their aging parents. An estimated 11 million caregivers provide unpaid care to an adult while also caring for kids (Pew Research Center 2019 research report). With all of this care-taking, no wonder we are stressed and can experience burnout! We discuss the physical, emotional, and behavioral signs of burnout and common stressors of being a sandwich generation caregiver. We also cover important tips and tools for managing caregiver stress and burnout. 

It’s summer time!!! In today’s episode, Jamie, Lucy, and Avery talk about summer vampires – the experiences and expectations that can suck the joy right out of summer. We talk about the trap of overplanning, under planning, and not being intentional about our time. We share our own experiences with decision fatigue, difficulty remaining present, and having rigid expectations. We then cover tips and tricks to help you have a more enjoyable summer and fend off these summer vampires such as having conversations with the family about expectations before the summer kicks off, allowing everyone to explore their interests, and being intentional about family downtime. 

We have an amazing episode for you today! We interview Debra Benfield, a registered dietitian and certified eating disorder specialist whose work is focused on pro-aging and body liberation. We talk about the messages women receive about their bodies and their relationships with food, including the influence of an “ageist diet culture” on both how we feel about ourselves and the behaviors we try to adopt. Explored the role of fear and desire to control, and discussed factors that might be underneath this. Debra shares about normal bodily changes we might experience during midlife, as well as some nutrition guidelines to help nourish our bodies and whole selves during midlife and beyond. Throughout the episode we weave in the (over) focus on appearance and staying young, and we consider the freedom that comes from instead focusing on a pro-aging mindset, connecting with your values, and integrating more pleasure and joy. 

Some of our favorite takeaways: 

• When you feel the urge to control, shift instead into care instead
• Give yourself permission for pleasure
• Fear and trust are often in opposition 
• Some nutrition guidelines: 
  • When/if possible, listen to your body. 
  • Eat enough! Adequate intake is soooo important. (Many people are undernourished because of diet culture. When a human body is undernourished, the brain is underfed and therefore changes. Symptoms of this include brain fog, anxiety, irritability, mood swings.)
  • Eat enough fat! This is important for your nervous system. 
  • Consider your gut. For this, eat regularly (no skipping or fasting) and let yourself be fed adequately. Eat fermented foods, lots of fruits and veggies, and carbs. 
  • Carbs are important for our bodies to function well and fully. 
  • Belly fat is important and good. We need it. 
  • Pleasure and satisfaction are important. 
• Brains can change at any age. Neuroplasticity is real. You are not stuck after a certain age. 

Debra’s nutrition practice: https://www.bodyinmindnutrition.com/

Debra’s coaching program: https://www.debrabenfield.com/

Find Debra on Instagram:  https://www.instagram.com/agingbodyliberation/

Minnesota Starvation Study: 

https://eatingdisorders.dukehealth.org/education/resources/starvation-experiment

Regan Chastain: 

https://www.instagram.com/ragenchastain/

https://danceswithfat.org/

Follow us on Instagram: 

https://www.instagram.com/badassrebellion/

https://www.instagram.com/inspirationfromthecouch/

In today’s episode we talk about our experiences of being on the brink of losing our shit. We explore interpersonal dynamics and situations that trigger this reaction. We explore the difference between losing our shit and handling our shit. We discuss our internal experiences, as well as how we show up in the world when we’re in this state of mind (or really this “state of feeling” is a better descriptor!). 

Top 3 things we’re learning about how to cope with difficult people/situations: 

1. Be well resourced. It’s hard to cope when we’re exhausted, depleted, tapped out, or overwhelmed. Another reason to practice good self-care. 
2. Sometimes we have to be assertive. Boundaries are important. This doesn’t make you a bitch. 
3. Get support. We often need safe people to vent to who understand, who will be on our team, and who can help us discern how to respond. 

In this episode, we’re giving you a sneak peak at our upcoming summer series! Starting in June, we’re holding monthly workshops (in-person and online) to talk about some of our favorite topics related to midlife.

Our June Workshop is going to focus on reorienting and rebelling. We’ll talk about what is really happening to our brains, bodies, and relationships during midlife and the menopause transition. We’ll also spend some time debunking some of the messed up messages we’ve received about the midlife years.

We’re calling our July Workshop “The Reckoning.” It’s time to come to terms with what’s so: with where you are and where you’re not. With who you are and who you’re not. It’s time to let go of all the shit that’s weighing you down and no longer serving you. Reckoning points the way for what we  might do with our one wild and precious life.

In our August Workshop, we’re going to focus on Reclaiming Power. Reclaiming is about getting in touch with your power and reawakening your fire. In this workshop, we’ll work to reclaim self, time, and relationships.

Our September Workshop is focused on Rejoicing in Midlife. We’ll talk about how to prioritize fun, joy, and pleasure, and we’ll clear the obstacles that interfere. We really hope you’ll join us for one (or all!) of these offerings. We’d love to get to see you this summer!!

Click here for more info and/or to sign up! 

We are delighted to have the New York Times bestselling author, Jen Mann, join us for this episode. She is a Gen X Badass, and her book Midlife Bites puts words to what so many of us experience in our 40s and beyond. We absolutely love her vulnerability, hilarity, and use of the word “amazeballs”. Our conversation today covers everything from Jen’s adventures in standup comedy to poise pads. We hope you have as much fun listening to this one as we had recording it! 

Links: 

https://www.peopleiwanttopunchinthethroat.com/

https://jenmann.substack.com/

https://www.facebook.com/groups/midlifebites

https://www.instagram.com/jenmannauthor/

Join Jamie, Lucy, and Avery as they talk with certified coach (CPCC), Sara Smeaton, about all things midlife! Sara is a badass midlifer who offers one-on-one and group coaching as well as workshops helping women discover their power, purpose, and possibility. We discuss what Sara refers to as our midlife Power YearsTM, in which we have the experience AND the possibility to create the life we want. We also explore six truths about midlife and share our experiences of being in this life stage. This is a great conversation, not to be missed!

Links:

https://sarasmeaton.com/

https://sarasmeaton.com/power-years-workbook/

https://www.instagram.com/sarasmeaton/